The DON'T List

One of the most important steps in planning your wedding is writing down what you DON'T want. It's how you clear the way for what you do want, how you communicate to parents and vendors so that they don't get unreal expectations, and -- best of all -- it's how you share with one another what each of you wants for the Big Day.

I've created a section on my website where you'll find free DON'T List worksheets in several different categories. Just print them out, and include them in your bridal binder for filling-in as you move forward through your wedding plans.

Here's the link to take you to my site and the DON'T Lists: http://www.sharonnaylor.net/dontlist.htm

USA Today

My book "Mother of the Groom" has been spotlighted in USA Today! Check out the article here: http://www.usatoday.com/life/people/2007-08-06-mother-of-groom_N.htm?csp=34. This appearance led to a call from the New York Times Style section, a possible TV segment on iVillage, a radio interview on GreenStone Media, and of course lots of action with my podcast "Here Come the Moms" on The Wedding Podcast Network (http://www.thewpn.com/). Of all the people involved in the wedding, it's the mother of the groom who's often wondering what's going on. She knows the old-world rules of the groom's family paying for the rehearsal dinner, but what's all this about her being invited to design the flowers? When did THAT happen? It's a great time for the MoG, since she's often invited into territory that used to be the domain of the bride and her mother. I'm really looking forward to bringing my own MoG to the flower planning session when we get to that step. Everyone gets to share in the fun. Well, almost everyone ;)

Are you gratitude journaling?

It's the only way to keep your balance as you work through the wedding plans and manage your life! So check out my Bride's Gratitude Journal as the perfect way to keep your perspective and have a great keepsake later -- so much of wedding planning gets lost in a kind of post-Big-Day amnesia, so your daily notes will re-reveal to you how generous and supportive your friends were (even if your sister was a brat at the gown shopping trip!). Here's your link: http://www.sharonnaylor.net/bridejourn.htm

All about the color

We popped a cork on a bottle of champagne to celebrate the first brush of color to go up on the bedroom walls. It's a gorgeous tan, nice and warm, and coat one looks great already. As if that splash of happiness wasn't enough, we also ordered our wedding invitations -- white with sage green to go with our spring theme -- and Joe suggested a beautiful Willa Cather quote to put at the top of the single panel card. It's beautiful, and Linda at www.invitations4sale.com just wrote with a few style tweaks to make it even better. So I'm off to design our reception cards and thank you notes, and then we have this delightful task in the Done column. We're taking our time and savoring every step.

After a weekend of painting with Joe and spending time with my niece and nephew, I got a 10-hour night's sleep, so I'm raring to go today. No more running on fumes. I'm giddy about writing the e-mail a day entries for Pash Weddings, answering my lineup of questions at iVillage Weddings, and checking in with my editors at Martha Stewart Weddings and Elegant Bride about two real-life weddings I'd like to feature for them. Nothing gets done on Fridays during the summer -- the industry screeches to a halt as everyone heads down the shore or to the Hamptons -- so Monday is always non-stop. Which I love. Asian pear iced tea is nice and cold here by my side, so I'm off....

Tasting food for the reception

It was awesome, a class act all the way, and terrific food from start to finish. We not only chose our entrees, but we decided that our ceremony will be outside if the weather serves, and our centerpieces will be low-set. Looking around the room, I saw a lot of bored grooms (wearing flip-flops, no less!), so I am overjoyed that Joe was 100% present and enthusiastic about the tasting. That's every bride's dream.

So when it's time to do your wedding menu, ask about having a tasting with the caterer. It's always better to have personal experience, because the crabcakes that sound great on a printed menu might taste bland in-person. The onion focaccia could be a brick. You never know. So with your food and with your cake, always get plates in front of you.

Tonight, we see The Police in concert, and then it's a weekend of priming and painting. Yes, I've said that every Friday, but we're ready now. My niece and nephew arrive in town this weekend as well, so I'll be skipping out from the paint fumes to take them to the pool, and the annual toy shopping trip has turned into an annual shoe-shopping trip for my niece. They grow up so quickly! It's a great weekend ahead....progress, progress, progress.

A new contender for the bridesmaid dress

While scanning the dresses on a website, I found a new possibility for my bridesmaids. It's pretty, has a fabric contrast tier at the hem, and -- best of all -- it's an easy order for each of them. Sounds like a winner to me. But this brings up an important piece of wedding advice: don't make any decisions when you're tired or frustrated or depleted. I'm running on fumes today, so I'm not dropping the gavel on any bridesmaid dress. As soon as the phone guy is done (6 hours and counting), it's time for a bubble bath so that I can try to recharge for my Bloomberg TV taping tomorrow afternoon and then the big reception menu tasting with Joe tomorrow night. It's going to be fabulous to leap out of home renovation world and into wedding world. Just us and a roomful of excited engaged couples all getting platters of gorgeous gourmet foods and desserts placed in front of us, the champagne will be flowing, music playing. It's like a vacation into a beautiful alternate universe. This is the fun stuff, truly once-in-a-lifetime, dreams-come-true level. Very important to erase your 'other world' stuff so that you can enjoy it. I plan to stuff my face. ;) Plenty of time to lose those 5 pounds for the dress.

Get ready for "Summers At Blue Lake"

I'm so proud of my dear friend (and Matron of Honor) Jill Althouse-Wood for the years and years she put into the creation of her debut novel "Summers At Blue Lake," which reviewers are comparing to the work of Elizabeth Berg and Anita Shreve. Jill has a lasting way with words, so you'll enjoy this women's literary novel as the perfect end-of-summer read. Visit her site at http://www.jillalthousewood.com/ for more information on the novel -- launching on August 3rd -- her artwork and workshops, and what's next for my sister of the arts. Of course, she's the new pick in my bridal book club!

My new podcast is up!

The newest installment of "Here Come the Moms" is up at the Wedding Podcast Network, and we're featuring an interview with a real-life mom and bride who planned together while far apart. If distance is a factor for you, you'll learn what worked best for them. http://herecomethemoms.libsyn.com/index.php?post_id=238787

I've also gotten word that my new book project is a Go! So once the ink is dry on the contracts, I'll be starting on the new project. More details to come soon...

Today, I'm headed into New York City to meet with Anne Chertoff from iVillage Weddings, where I have my new expert section on their message boards. (Send your etiquette questions there!) As much as I love working on the house, it's time to get dressed up, hop in the limo, and cross the river for lunch in the city.

All things on hold

Have you ever had a week where it felt like absolutely everything you have to do is somehow blocked from getting done? That's where I'm at now. The drywall guy has gone MIA so my office setup is pushed back until he returns. In the meantime, I'm hunched over my laptop, now on the bedroom dresser so as to be hooked to the Internet, which decided to go out all day, further delaying my work. I won't list the rest of the on-hold projects, because you know what I mean and these kinds of delays are part of the new home package. So it's off to see Midsummer Night's Dream at Shakespeare in the park on this lovely night, to escape the house and enjoy the bard's best.

The garden is in!

I've written often here about my 'snapshot moments,' those dreamy moments I've imagined coming to life....and we got one last night. Joe and I put in our flower garden in the front landscaping, and it was even better than I imagined it would be! This is one time when reality surpassed my imagination. We have bright reds and pinks and yellows dotting our front garden, and the solar lanterns in the middle look phenomenal. How great to get down into the dirt and the mud and feel the rich, fertile soil between my fingers, smell that fresh scent of the grass and the dirt, have no plan for placement but just let the garden design itself as we went along. I admit that I woke up at 6am to see if the deer really did avoid our flowers, and we're good. No chomped-down stumps out there. :) The best part was working on it together, looking over at Joe and seeing those strong hands tamping each plant into place. As the sun set, the solar lanterns came on, and we had our own dreamy scene of a job well done.

Which brings up a wedding point: when you feel 'stuck' with any big tasks like hiring the right entertainers, knowing you have a lot of auditions to go to, you can return yourself to right by having a working list of little, easy tasks that will give you the satisfaction of crossing lots of things off your To-Do list. It might be as simple as writing up a page on your wedding website, adding some towels to your registry, printing out the labels for your wedding guest welcome baskets...whatever's quick and easy for you. You'll feel great knowing you got something done and that the big tasks aren't all-encompassing.

The Language of Flowers -- convey a message with your wedding flowers

Did you know that flowers have a language all their own? The symbolism of flowers goes back to the early 19th century when a French author put pen to paper to record the oral tradition of messages given along with the gift of a single flower or bouquet. I've just completed a massive article on this topic for my website -- Mike will have it launched soon -- and here are a few examples so that you can see what I'm talking about:

Rose: Love
Rose (Austrian): Lovely; You are everything that is lovely
Rose (Bridal): Ours will be a happy love
Rose (China): Your beauty is always new
Rose (Lavender): Our love is pure
Rose (Pink): To my friend
Rose (Red): I love you; passionate love
Rose (Red Leaved): Wishes for prosperity
Rose (Red and White): Unity Rosebud (Red): You are young and lovely

What I find most fascinating about the language of flowers is that courtship was such a careful and delicate thing back in the Jane Austen days, that a man who was trying to woo a woman would have to send a secret message through a flower that he left for her or had delivered to her through a friend. And even more fascinating are the number of negative connotations that some of these flowers have! Yellow carnations, for example, mean 'I am disappointed with you.' How'd you like to find that under your window? Ah well, they didn't have IMs or text messaging back then, so they had to argue through the flower garden. ;) I'll let you know when my article is up on my site so that you can check out what your wedding flowers are saying....hopefully you don't have any yellow carnations in there! And forget about the striped carnations, which mean 'I am sorry, I must say no.' Ouch! Those were actually on my wishlist for the wedding -- scratch that!

And speaking of flowers, Joe and I just picked out all the flowers for our front landscaping...a gorgeous array of brights that were on the deer-don't-eat-these list. We saw a pineapple plant, which I knew meant 'hospitality' but have just learned also means 'you are absolutely perfect.' Good to know.

There comes a time when you just have to hand it to a pro

As much as I appreciate a good upper-body workout, I'm just not strong enough to scrape off 50 year-old wallpaper paste. I have a turbo steamer, but that's just softening the walls enough to gauge them. It's working, but I'm beat. So it's time to call in an expert, so that I can actually work on my book and articles while someone *else* scrapes at the former owners' seeming use of Gorilla Glue on these walls. I say this as I'm working on our new hardwood floor in our office, so I have a new appreciation for what a pro can do. I'm done. These hands will scrape no more. ;)

In wedding world, I'm going with my mom to pick out her dress. We've had to re-schedule three times due to my overload schedule and her chemo, but this Thursday could be the big day. After we shop, we'll grab lunch. I went to visit my gown the other day while walking back to my car after lunch with Joe...I so picked the right one. And I picked the right gown, too. ;)

iVillage Weddings Etiquette Expert

That would be me. I've just started as the iVillage Weddings Etiquette Expert, where I'll answer all of your etiquette questions on their message board. So visit my Q&A section at http://weddings.ivillage.com/messageboards [it's Ask the Etiquette Expert], and I'll help you wade through all those confusing Old World vs. New World Etiquette issues. What's up with And Guests? How do you tell a guest (again) that she can't bring the kids to the reception? How do you word the invitation when your parents aren't paying for the wedding, but you want to honor them in some way? When do you send Save the Dates? Who gets invited to the rehearsal dinner? Where do the rules stop and your rules start? I'm here to help, so post your questions to me as you need me.

Honeymoon finder

This is a fantastic find! I was just chatting with iVillage Weddings expert Anne Chertoff, and she sent over this link to their Honeymoon Finder tool: http://choosers.ivillage.com/weddings/honeymoon_finder/ -- it has the types of honeymoons broken down into exactly the kinds of styles I've been considering...and I may have found a contender for our own honeymoon! I thought I'd share this gem with you...enjoy!

Where to Honeymoon?

My head is spinning with the possibilities...should we go to Barbados? St. John? Disneyworld? Part of me wants the tranquil island getaway with nothing to do but lie in the sun and sip pina coladas, and part of me wants the adventurous vacation with dolphin swims and catamarans, horseback riding, waterfall climbing. I'm too scattered right now to really focus on it, so that means backing off the topic and waiting for the right ad to come on TV at the right time. ;)

We have our reception menu tasting in August, where we'll attend an event that's very much like a wedding thrown by our reception site for all of their upcoming wedding couples. That's where we'll get bite-sized portions of all of their cocktail hour, entree and dessert options in order to finalize our wedding menu. We're less than a year away, and time will fly. Plus, with all of the house business and work craziness, it'll be nice to put on the little black dress and go chow down on some salmon and chateaubriand, petit fours and six different kinds of wedding cake (Oh my! Joe and I will be selecting our wedding cake in just a few weeks!). A fun FYI...we're having our wedding at the same location as the first wedding we ever attended together. Very early in our dating era, Joe asked me to be his date at a colleague's wedding, and that was tons of pressure to meet *all* of his bosses and co-workers in one shot. I guess I did pretty well. ;) So that means we'll have our first married dance on the very same dance floor where we slow-danced for the first time. I knew he was a keeper at Brett and Joanna's wedding...Joe is talented with the slow-dance.

So Joe is now a master electrician guru -- it's amazing to watch him work; he's so meticulous and puts so much care into everything he does. He gets this adorable look of concentration, and I'm swooning. This is also the first time he's seen me at work...I'm sure he's scratching his head at my methodology -- the folders spread out in a big half circle on the living room floor, papers everywhere, seeming chaos...and then it's all neatly put together in a flash. My timing has changed...before we bought the house, I'd leave his place and be home and at work by 9:30pm, writing until 1am. Now, I'm waking up at 6am, and there's no way on God's earth that I'm going to work til 1am. Which is adding up to a more normal workday. It's a happy adjustment, and the strange thing is that I've been *more* efficient this way. 'Early to bed, early to rise' has some truth to it. ;)

It's been a while since I suggested some great websites for you, so here's my It List for the week:
www.berries.com -- You will fall over. These chocolate-covered strawberries are enormous and delicious, the perfect gift for parents or for your wedding coordinator during and after the planning.
www.foodtv.com -- Create your party menus here, with great alternatives to the traditional fete fare. We like Guy Fieri's lineup, but Emeril always has a spicy place in our hearts for party menus.
www.gailwatsoncakes.com -- Check out her cake decorating kits...you buy some plain sheetcakes, or make cupcakes, and use Gail's add-ons to decorate like a pro.
www.sharonnaylor.net -- to get my Bride's Gratitude Journal, which is going to keep your perspective and appreciation in place so that you enjoy the process. [And all my other books are there, too ;)]
www.invitations4sale.com -- the best place to get discounts on the top invitation collections, and a % of your purchase goes to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society.
www.photofiddle.com -- turn your digital photos into creative, gorgeous works of art. Joe and I have our engagement photo done up like an oil painting -- it's gorgeous! I'm looking for an appropriate photo to get one of those Andy Warhol color block prints done.
www.victoriassecret.com -- build your arsenal of lingerie.
www.bnbfinder.com -- find the perfect bed and breakfast for your destination wedding, your guests' lodging, a unique setting for showers, and more.

Okay, the overwhelm with the new house is subsiding. Things are getting done, and progress is now visible. I think we both needed to make a dent in the huge, huge list of things to do...and extra things to do just kept popping up with every move we made. Joe spent most of yesterday putting in the new tile floor in the bathroom, and he did a masterful job. It's like a spa in there, such a huge difference from the 1960s mini tile. We finally have a surface with a new color and texture! We're almost ready to prime and paint the bedroom, so the fun stuff begins, and my skills can come into play.

In the meantime, as much as I'd love to work on the walls, it's worktime here in the office. We're getting ready to launch a new feature for my website, a collection of worksheets that are a free addition to my book The Busy Bride's Essential Wedding Checklists, and we're almost done with the free style-definition articles that will launch along with my new book What's Your Bridal Style? when that comes out in December. I'm at the fun stage of our book Planning Your NJ Wedding, which I'm writing with Erik and Beth Kent at www.njwedding.com -- I've just printed out all 130 experts' questionnaires, and now I get to folder them by topic and start creating that one. That's been a long time coming, so I'm very excited to spread out these thousands of pages on our living room floor and put them all together. And then there are the new articles I'm discussing with some of my dream-placement magazines. Lots of exciting stuff going on, and I'm doing them all while looking out my new office window at the butterflies and birds that are all over our idyllic location here.

Such great things are going to happen here...

In loving memory of Annette

We got the call this morning that our dear cousin Annette lost her battle with cancer. The updates had been heartbreaking -- she had run into so many challenges that prevented the doctors from even starting chemo or radiation. So my thoughts, prayers and comfort are with her husband [there's no imagining Ralph without Annette...they were 'that couple'] and her two daughters [one of whom is expecting her first child any day now.] Rest in peace, Annette. You were the center of our family and wherever you are now has just become a more beautiful place because you have arrived. The aunts and uncles are certainly there to greet you. Ala famiglia.

What's Your Bridal Style?

My new book, What's Your Bridal Style, is coming out in just a few months - helping you define your wedding style as the NEW first step in planning before you even talk to your experts -- so it was very fun for me to find this defining-your-style for the *home* quiz (http://www.hgtv.com/hgtv/pac_ctnt_988/text/0,,HGTV_22056_33320,00.html).

We're almost at the point where we can start thinking about style and decor with the new house...right now it's all about unraveling the history of the home...and I have a few choice words for whomever wired this place for electricity. We're almost through the puzzle of it, and things are starting to take shape because Joe is so amazing at forming plans and bringing it all together. Joe and I really needed his cousins' birthday and graduation party the other night...Polish family parties are outstanding, from the great food to the warm company, and on the drive home, we saw so many 4th of July weekend fireworks in the distance along the highway. At one point, it looked like we were driving right into them, like special effects from a movie. Quite pretty.

We're "In Process", but at least I'm starting to remember where I saw the box with the dental floss and where the flathead screwdriver is, and I got my first "oh, you look *so* much better" after a week of hearing how exhausted I look. We're so entering the Better Homes and Gardens home redecorating contest, with before and after shots of each room and full details of what we did to the place...I may throw in a 'before and after' of me so that the esteemed judges of said contest can consider a prize for best recovery from dark circles under the eyes ;)

"The List" on WWD

Check out my spotlight contributions to "The List" at WWD: http://www.wwd.com/notavailable/dotcom?target=/thelist/article/116778&articleId=116778&articleType=A&industryKw=thelist&industryKw2=thelistarticle. My publicist Julie just sent this over, and as I'm sitting cross-legged on an orange shag carpet (the previous homeowner's soon-to-be-gone choice), hunching over my laptop, I think I may have frightened the still-here plumbers with my echo-ing "Yes!" What I have learned about remodeling a house...take all estimates and double them. *Unlike* wedding world, where you know exactly what everything is going to cost ;) As sweaty and cranky as I am, I wouldn't trade this for the world.

Planning a new home is like planning a wedding

We're in! Joe carried me across the threshold, and we had a champagne toast to mark our first day in the new house. It struck me immediately that planning for a new home is like planning a wedding -- emotions run high with both excitement and overwhelm. Everyone has advice and suggestions that are wonderful but can be like eating too many cookies...too much of a good thing. And the swirling list of to-do's renders you almost paralyzed. Where do you start? How do you stay organized? How is life going to change after all this planning? It's exactly the same.

So we're planning our new home like we're doing the wedding -- we don't make decisions without consulting with each other, we depend on each other's strengths in certain areas, we keep a sense of humor when we can, and we focus on the bigger meaning of it all -- the start of a new life together. Friends and family stopped by to help and to bring flowers, friends stopped by with welcome messages and gifts, and the new neighbors have been terrific. Although it wasn't exactly the most ideal first impression when I had to go next door to borrow a corkscrew, a moment topped only by the fact that our neighbor's 8 year-old son knew where it was and went to get it for us ;)

So we're in the middle of a wave-filled ocean with lots of ups and downs, as the house reveals itself to us. [I'm inspired right now by one of my favorite movies playing on my DVD right now -- Under the Tuscan Sun, where Frances says that "the key to overcoming buyer's remorse is to have a plan. Pick one room and make it your own. Go slowly. Introduce yourself, and the house will introduce itself to you.' So true.] Our house has revealed itself to have gorgeous hardwood floors underneath the shoddy carpet. And a 1950's maritime wallpaper behind the ugly wood paneling in what will be our office. And an oven that doesn't work. So much for our romantic dinner at the house tonight. But a new home, like a wedding, has thousands of facets and details and steps...not every one of them can be flawless. We have to have a few challenges to make it worth it. The best weddings come through a trial by fire with lots of unexpected setbacks, and that's how it will be with the house.

What matters most about the new house, like a wedding, is who you're spending your life with. That's it. So while exhaustion is definitely a factor, we always push through that hitting the wall period and get a few extra good hours in. Bottom line: in the first two days, we have all the carpets up, all the bedrooms cleared of an obscene number of staples in the floor, wallpaper down in 2 rooms, a new light fixture up, most of our kitchen supplies in place, our cable and phone in place, and a wooden duck named Anthony who sits in our front window looking back over his shoulder at us like he's just seen something phenomenal outside. All the phenomenal is inside. Just like with a wedding.

My Martha Stewart Weddings appearance

Yesterday, I was a guest expert on Martha Stewart Weddings Sirius Satellite Radio show. After an exhaustive security search (would you like a pap test with that?), I took the elevator up 36 floors to the Sirius studios, and THAT was amazing. They were setting up the equipment for Ben Harper's appearance on one of the shows, so it was just me and the roadies in the waiting area. I saw a very familiar-looking man over by the counter, and the lifelong Giants fan in me said "Is that Carl Banks?" Rather than approach and be wrong, I just sat it out. Darcy Miller, editor of Martha Stewart Magazines, walked in and greeted me so warmly, I forgot how in awe I was about *where* I was. As we walked through the lineup of studios, there was the NFL studio with -- you guessed it -- Carl Banks's lifesize player cutout on the wall. So it was him. I have the Giants in my DNA, so I would probably recognize any of the players from the 80s and 90s. Being an adult now and far removed from my family's regular attendance at Giants games, I'd probably trip over Jeremy Shockey now and not recognize him. But I digress.... the Martha Stewart Weddings segment went really well. We bounced around between talking about wedding vow renewals (my book Renewing Your Wedding Vows was the topic of the day) and jewelry, what to throw at the wedding couple, such as birdseed, etc, and my own engagement. I think the gorgeous ring Joe gave me got more airtime than I did ;) But I'll take it. This was a fantastic opportunity, which leads to great things.

Speaking of great things, Joe and I spent the evening at Home Depot getting our primer and painting supplies, some fire extinguishers, looking at doorknobs -- the great details that have been in my 'snapshots' for so long. We're a day away now...and it's going to be pure magic to have Joe carry me across the threshold, have our champagne toast with the bottle of Prosecco that the engagement ring store gave to us, and have our first moments in the house be all about the dream come true of our new life together. It's just like getting engaged -- the very first moments are all about the deepest meaning: the relationship and the promise of building a beautiful future together. So, again just like a wedding, even though there's a *ton* of stuff to do, that's when we take that moment to say the right words, and make it all about Us. And then we rip into the carpets and do the demo work that we've seen on every home remodeling show we've ever seen. My Dad, having been sick for so long, has a new pinkness in his cheeks with the renewed sense of meaning -- that he's needed for advice on carpet clearing ("roll up the sections, tie them with twine, and throw them out the window so you don't hurt your backs.") This all takes away his jitters about having eye surgery on Monday. My mom can't wait to see the butterfly wallpaper in the kitchen before we start ripping that out. Joe's mom is going to come over and help us with the shelf liner paper, and has taken a few days off of work in case we need her for anything. And Joe's brother might be on board to help up rip out the old paneling in our office. And in the middle of all this, the entire week will be me working on my laptop and letting the plumber in, the air duct cleaners, the carpet cleaners, the hardwood floor measuring people, and whoever else shows up waiting for a check ;) Since I donated all of my furniture to various charities and missions, there's not much for the movers to bring over, so I'm not going to schlep as much stuff over on my own. My back is finally a bit better, and I'd like it to stay that way so that I can join Joe in painting our ceilings and walls and trim without massive doses of Motrin.

I'm just so excited that this is all finally starting...we've waited so long.

The countdown begins...

Actually, it began several months ago, but the big, pink numbers on my calendar say that we're three days away from closing on our house. It feels like *forever* since we first found our new home, and we've been packing for weeks. Most of my furniture has been donated to Habitat for Humanity, so I'm surrounded by boxes in this temporary state of flux. It gets difficult sometimes, since I need organization around me, but all I have to do is look at the boxes of shelf liner paper that my Mom brought over, the carpet cutter tools that my Dad lent us, and I just smile knowing that Joe and I will very soon be in the dreamy stage of prepping our house and painting the walls (our palette is breathtaking!) and placing the furniture where we want it. The house is a blank canvas to us, and we get to create the look and feel of our home. That's just bliss.

Joe came over with beautiful flowers for me last night (is he the best, or what?), so I'm recharged and ready for another big milestone tomorrow -- I'm guesting on Martha Stewart Weddings Sirius Satellite Radio at noon. So just like I did with the Mike & Juliet show, I step away from the cardboard boxes and step back into my author world. As much as I love prepping for our new house and the wedding, it's equally exciting to have these big work-world events to look forward to. There are so many once-in-a-lifetime moments going on right now, and I'm grateful every day....even with the little maelstroms that pop up when you're planning something big. (Who knew that getting our separate phone lines combined into the house would be so labor-intensive?).

Coming soon...The Bride's Diplomacy Guide!

With all this talk about Bridezillas and their selfish ways, let's also not forget that sometimes a mild-mannered bride can completely lose it when she has selfish or troublemaking people *around* her. How do you tell a bitter bridesmaid to stop the whining? How do you handle people who send in response cards that they will be bringing their kids to the wedding when you specifically said No to that? How do you confront your parents when they're the ones misbehaving? How do you handle difficult wedding vendors? I've tackled 150 scenarios -- and given you actual script suggestions on what to say for a smoother solution -- in my upcoming book The Bride's Diplomacy Guide, your portable 'coach' for those difficult conversations. Pre-order is up right now at amazon.com. Enjoy....and happy problem-solving!

The perfect thing for showers!

I wrote a while back about how much Joe and I loved a recipe by Guy Fieri, the Food Network Star, who earned a couple of new fans here during a wedding special. As I was looking through his other recipes online, I saw that www.foodtv.com offers you the printout format of full-page, 3x5 and 4x6 cards -- which is the *perfect* thing to give the bride and groom! So many bridal showers are planned with a Kitchen Theme or a Gourmet Theme, with the focus on the couple's cooking repertoire, that it would be a fantastic idea for shower hosts to tell their guests to go to Food Network and print out their choices of favorite recipes for the couple. At the shower, the bride and groom get their kitchen-centric gifts (blenders, panini makers, exotic spice collections and a spice rack) and then they also get a stack of amazing recipes to add to their own recipe boxes or folders. Check out the ones I just printed out from Guy Fieri's lineup on www.foodtv.com:
* Penne with cajun hot links and chipotle shrimp
* Jambalaya sandwich
* Pulled pork egg rolls
* Chicken avocado egg rolls
Shower hosts planning co-ed showers: this is a particularly hot trend right now, so if you're doing a kitchen shower, keep an eye out for the celebrity cookbook authors' booksignings at the major book chains and at Williams Sonoma stores. An autographed copy for the bride and groom is a great addition to their kitchen and a spotlight gift that will get lots of ooooh's and ahhhh's at the shower!

Mike, Juliet, Sam, Bill, two Bridezillas and me

If you saw the show this morning, your jaw probably dropped to the floor like mine did. A bride who was mad that one of her bridesmaids had to leave to attend to her baby in the ER with a 103 fever? A bride who made all of her bridesmaids cut out carbs and attend a boot camp so they'd be beautiful in the photos for her? When they cut to me, I was still reeling from some of what I heard. The audience actually gasped at some of what those brides had to say. Mike and Juliet turned to look at me for solutions to the Bridezilla problem, and my first sentence was out of shock...and then I launched into how Bridezilla behavior is actually the opposite of etiquette, how a bully bride is far from the ideal. In a nutshell, the two Bridezillas weren't too fond of me. ;) But it had to be said. In our era of praising spoiled heiresses and the Me First generation, an etiquette expert requesting consideration and respect for others isn't going to be voted prom queen. I was there to do a job, and I got the message out -- today's bride is not the Bridezilla. There's just a tiny percentage that gravitate toward a reality show. For every me-first bride, there are a thousand brides who take care to meet their guests needs and who would drive that bridesmaid to the ER to be with her baby. So let's just say I pretty much hung out by myself in the green room.

It wasn't an icky crowd at all. I loved seeing the PAs and producers running around doing their jobs, the Blackberries in full use, the hosts mingling with all the guests, and Sam from Top Chef getting his coffee and saying a quick hello to me. I'm a big Top Chef fan -- the marathon is on right now as I'm working -- and Sam is one of my favorites. So it was really nice to meet him as well as say hello to Bill Bellamy (who, I've just found out, Joe was actually on television with, years ago in college).

So now that Joe has picked up the bandages I got him for his softball tournament injuries (my man's a warrior!), I'm working into the night to complete a bunch of almost-done assignments. Tomorrow I'm back in the city for a big meeting, and Friday is rest-the-back day. I'm not moving at all.

Catch me on The Morning Show With Mike and Juliet

I just got the call. I'll be on The Morning Show With Mike and Juliet tomorrow morning, discussing how to handle it when the bride is a Bridezilla. What's the expected level of self-interest, and what's going too far? And how do you tame the most heinous of self-centered brides? This is going to be FUN...

Joe's in the news!

I woke up early today to see if Joe was quoted in an article about his firm's participation in a charity event for the Fresh Air Fund, and there he was! Great quotes, too :)

Speaking of charities, I have Habitat for Humanity coming over to assess my bedroom furniture set, entertainment center, desk and rocking chair for donation. While it makes me sad to part with my grandmother's bedroom set -- it's gorgeous! -- it thrills me to know that a Habitat family might be able to call it their own someday soon. That's something you should know...Habitat and other charities will come pick up your castoff furniture and other donations for use in their project homes and in their stores for fundraising. So if you're combining homes right now, or wanting to get rid of your college furniture before the wedding, think about donating rather than dumping your stuff.

And finally, my novel "It's My Wedding Too" has just made another list of top chick-lit reads: http://52books.wordpress.com/2007/06/11/booklist-of-the-week-for-better-for-worse/. The ladies in the Pash book club * loved* my novel -- it's a quick, light read for summer and wedding season -- and many suggested it as a gift for the bride during the stressful planning months.

In a little bit, I'll talk to Joe about his appearance in the media, and then I'm into a hectic day of 5 articles, taking the dog to the vet, and prepping for a meeting with a top TV network. Mom and I shopped for the Big Meeting Outfit yesterday. We wanted to shop for her dress for the wedding, but the spring formals are gone now. So we'll go back to that great little bridal shop for her dress order. Jill (my MoH) and I decided on the short bridesmaid dress (after days and days of considering long formals), so the moms don't have to get gowns now. It's funny...we fell in love with that tea length dress on Day One of our e-mail flurry gown consideration process, but we checked dozens of extras (some good, some hideous) just to be sure. And now we're back to Dress #1, which is often how it works. It's been so much fun to share the excitement of the wedding with my closest friends. For so many years, they supported me and cheered me as I worked on my career goals, and then they were there to support me as I supported my parents through their illnesses. Now we have something beautiful and joyful to work on....and my friends have all told me, "Joe brings out the You in you again."

Inspiration for your wedding menu

Building your wedding menu can be intimidating. Your caterer has a big, long list of delicious-sounding appetizer, chef station, entree and dessert options and you have no idea how to choose the right combination of dishes to create *the* perfect lineup. After all, the food and the entertainment make the wedding. Caterers and banquet halls will invite you in for an official food tasting months before the wedding, which is the best way to tell what you like and what looks great on the menu with what...but you *can* exercise some creative control over your menu by asking your chef to customize a few dishes. For instance, Joe and I just watched a cable TV wedding special tonight, and we flipped over Food Network Star Guy Fieri's pomegranate honey chicken (we looked it up online right away). While we could ask the caterer to tweak a few of the dishes for our wedding menu, we're also looking -- and this is the big advice of this posting -- for ideas for other wedding weekend events. Maybe we'll do the pomegranate chicken for a wedding weekend lunch with our visiting friends or pre-wedding houseguests, or maybe that will become a great dish for our future married life dinner plans in general. We saw a few of Guy's recipes online, and we're new fans. So, engaged couples, visit www.foodtv.com for inspiration on your wedding and everyday life recipes collection -- I love how they classify each dish from easy to complicated. Since both Joe and I know our way around the kitchen, it was a thrill beyond belief to spend the evening talking both wedding plans and future lifestyle plans. On top of a wonderful evening of dinner out, going to the bookstore to cruise the new selections, and a holding-hands walk along Main Street, this was the proverbial cherry on the sundae.

"Our Wedding Story" at PashWeddings.com

No, not *our* wedding story, but rather the beautiful and inspiring details and first-person recountings of real couples' wedding plans, why they chose what they chose, how they made their budgets work, the thrilling moments they shared with their families...all of the magical things that make wedding time so much of a dream come true.

Pash founder Steven Galvez and I have started a new section on his site where we will tell the stories of our Pash community members, complete with their photos and those great insider advice gems that every bride wants to learn from her peers. As a wedding expert, I offer ideas and help solve dilemmas -- my Bride's Diplomacy Guide is coming out soon! -- and I absolutely love it when my advice vaporizes a couple's problem and inspires a design or style approach. I'm here to help, and I have more than a quarter-million brides and grooms out there who have gotten great stuff from my books. But as much as expert advice answers a big need in the wedding industry, brides also want to hear about what their friends are doing. So it's a double-barrel gift to all those brides and grooms out there: the expert advice you need and the real-world stories and photos you want. I'm excited about this new showcase on the site, as our first questionnaires are coming in, and their photos are *gorgeous*.

I was going to go gown shopping with my Mom today, but I slept wrong on my back and am hobbling around with what feels like sciatica. It had *better* clear up, since Joe and I are going to order our hardwood floors today. I've been waiting for this day and even if I have to walk in there all hunched over and limping, we're choosing our flooring for the office today. I expect lots of curveballs as we put our home together...it's all a matter of finding our way around them. But nothing -- not even a pulled muscle in my back -- is getting in the way of the snapshot I have of our flooring shopping trip. We have two things left to do before we're all set for the move, and it's been an absolute dream to work with Joe on all of this. I hear about so many couples who turn their first home into a battleground, wanting 'my way' and turning it into a primal territorial issue instead of a partnership. But we don't have that. Which tells me I'm *so* marrying the right man. But I already knew that ;)

You find the strangest things while packing...

With just a few weeks until the big move into our house, I'm fairly well into the packing process (which makes my place a feng shui nightmare right now), but I'm *so* glad I started packing a while ago. These little bursts of packing and organizing are way more enjoyable than if I tried to do it all in one shot. The best part is the treasure trove of fun things I'm finding in my closet and dresser drawers. I apparently was a big fan of hair Scrunchies at one time, and I have a big pile of stockings. So I have an 18 gallon plastic storage container that's filled with my arsenal of Victoria's Secret...and a giant pile of stockings. I also found my choir award from 8th grade graduation -- to quote my choir teacher: "for being the loudest, not necessarily the most on-key." Which is funny, because I am not a loud person. I guess I just had that 'give it your all' mentality even way back then. Other finds: cute jewelry sets I forgot I owned, and a savings bond.

The upheaval of a move can knock you over, so it's important to grab on to these little perks and surprises during the process. So my advice to *other* brides- and grooms-to-be who are also planning for their new home while they're planning their wedding is to look for these little golden moments, surprises, and the mindset that all of this change is ultimately for an incredibly bright future.

I have a ton of writing to do today -- lots of wedding articles, a bunch of web writing, some special projects for other people, and setting up my intern with her next batch of assignments. So it's time for an iced green tea and a chunk of watermelon for an energy boost so that I can keep my butt in this office chair and work some magic on these assignments.

On Faith Hope and Fiction

The lovely and inspiring Tricia Crisafulli has posted an interview with me on her site FaithHopeandFiction.com ( http://www.faithhopeandfiction.com/documents/sharonnaylor.pdf) and it was a welcome re-visit to the topic of wedding vow renewals and the meaning behind my book Renewing Your Wedding Vows. A couple has to renew their vows in word and deed in this fast-paced world where we all have big To-Do lists and other things clamoring for our attention...otherwise the cherished partner can feel like an appliance or some taken-for-granted, almost invisible entity in the house. Just like when we get a reminder to take our vitamins, our busy brains register that there's something essential and good for you that has to be done. So consider showing gratitude to your partner as a kind of vitamin supplement to your relationship -- and if you want to renew your vows officially, I have just the book for you!

Today was a great day spent with Joe -- breakfast, followed by a new-house shopping trip for our sheets that turned into a 'we need a cart!' slightly larger shopping spree (we found gorgeous lamps!), then lunch and -- out of the blue -- one of those knee-weakening kisses. I get flutters in my stomach just thinking about it. Sigh...so I wobbled my way out of there to give him time to work, and right now I'm pulling out all of our engagement cards to read the fantastic and loving excited messages from friends and family. I have a pretty hatbox where I keep all of my priceless correspondence from friends and wonderful letters from editors and readers, so I'll soon look with Joe for a keepsake box in which we'll keep all of our engagement and wedding cards. I guess it's like remembering to take that vitamin...the good stuff is there; you just have to remember to pay attention to it.

"It's My Wedding Too" on iVillage Weddings!

iVillage Weddings just launched on Friday, and while cruising around to see the site where I will be a guest expert (!!!), I discovered that my novel "It's My Wedding Too" has been recommended as part of the iVillage book club forum! (along with a bunch of great reviews from Amazon!) Check it out: http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-wfWFhwedding&msg=3227.4&x=y

Joe is off with his brother for the day, and my parents are at the beach for lunch. I'm absolutely thrilled that they got the restorative trip to their favorite restaurant for steamers -- Dad's blood count numbers have been good, his eye surgery hasn't happened yet, so this was a good time to go. I remember how much it boosted my Mom's spirits to get down the shore while she was sick with lymphoma. We have a photo of her from the back, facing the ocean, with her arms raised in victory. And it became true. So today is Dad's turn to get out to the ocean and raise those fists against the cancer...I know how thrilled he is to get a break from the couch and doctors' offices.

Time by the peach tree

Today would have been my grandmother's birthday.

She passed away when I was in high school, and I still miss her so much. She was the kindest, sweetest woman, who remained big-hearted even throughout some big losses and a difficult life, but you can do that when you have a big, loving family and are surrounded by six sisters who are more like best friends and four brothers who look out for you.

I remember when we were little, and my grandmother decided to teach us how to make mini pizzas in pie tins. It was total chaos as my sister, my cousin John and I (all under 8 years old) spastically prepared our pizzas, as clumsy as kids can be with dropping sauce on the floor and mozzarella flying everywhere, with Grammy trying to hold it all together. That was my very first cooking experience, and I remember how proud I was when my misshapen, half-cheesed little pizza came out of the oven. I have all of her recipes now, along with some of her furniture, and since she was a member/founder of the Butterfly Club, I beam whenever I see a butterfly. Today, I'll go over to my parents' house where my grandmother's peach tree -- which is *still* producing edible peaches (such trees are not supposed to be able to do that after eight years, and it's been almost 20) -- graces the corner of the yard, to touch the branches and think about her for a while. She would absolutely * love* Joe...she'd be cooking for him every day, sending home packages of meatballs and chicken parmigiana, pasta fagioli, soup -- just like my mother does for us now. She was one of the good ones on this earth... I'm super-close with her sister, my great-aunt Millie, who has become like a grandmother to me (although I'm not sure she appreciates having a 38 year-old granddaughter!) so I'll talk with Aunt Mil later this morning. This won't be a working day. My parents gave me a dozen empty Poland Spring boxes, so I'm packing up everything in my kitchen except a few dishes and a spatula and a pizza cutting wheel. Good to have priorities ;) And my grandmother's rolling pin, sauce spoon, and other treasures will come with us to the new house, where we'll use them to make pizzas as one of our first meals. Joe had mentioned a while back that we should make homemade pizzas sometime, and that made me smile when he said that. It's one of the many snapshots I've imagined for our new home, which takes away every ounce of nerves about the big move. We're going to be so happy there. It's going to be a home filled with love. And great pizza.

Happy birthday, Grammy. I miss you very much.

Need to make your maps?

Guests who aren't familiar with the wedding area will appreciate not one but *two* forms of direction. Your site and hotel will usually offer you printed driving direction sheets to enclose in your invitations, but you can add a cute map of the area with icons showing the ceremony site, reception site, the sites of the rehearsal dinner and wedding morning breakfast, and -- here's the fun part -- any other points of interest in the area. Some couples will put the restaurant where they had their first date, or even the park fountain where the groom proposed, coffee shops, convenience stores, bars, and other spots. This is a fun task for the bride and groom to work on together, so visit www.weddingmapper.com to create your maps.

A nice start to our wedding plans

At a little under a year until our wedding, we have our site booked, as well as our photographer, florist, deejay and officiant. And my gown is ordered for delivery in 6-9 months. The main foundational things are set, which gives us *lots* of time to focus on the new house before any of the creative details of the wedding begin. So rather than searching online for invitations, Joe and I are happily looking online for hardwood flooring styles. Instead of ordering a cake, we're ordering our furniture. Our house has moved from barely-imaginable concept to a full-color and textured reality. We're building our home piece by piece, starting off with a little champagne toast on the day we close, followed immediately by ripping up the carpets in four rooms. In a few months, we'll dive into the wedding details together....

Fun thing: the UPS man just stopped by with some engagement gifts, and he said he just proposed to his now-fiancee not too long ago. They're touring their sites and making their plans (actually, like us and like most wedding couples today, they started looking before they did the ring thing!) right now, so all best wishes to Kevin and Michelle for a very happy wedding planning process and a beautiful life together!

Weekend of celebrations

From congratulatory phone calls to our family's tradition of going to the town Memorial Day parade to getting our bedroom set (!!!) and my birthday, this was a weekend of celebrations. The ice cream cake -- a wonderful themed one chosen by Joe as a part of *the* most fun birthday ever -- has a nice big dent out of it, and the fridge is full of yummy leftovers. It's a busy week ahead with a dozen or so prepping-for-the-house phone calls and trying to get all my June work done so that I can take time off for move-in, so tonight is a second-wind session of chipping away at that To-Do list. Joe and I spent most of the day at the pool, and it was *hot* out there, so I have a nice iced coffee in hand for a boost over the sun fatigue. I won't be able to sleep tonight until I have a few of these important deadlines hit, so I'm ready for a marathon session. It's a Zen state to get lost in work. Makes the worries of the week go away, like my Dad's upcoming eye surgery. With the hum of the computer and a stack of fresh, clean pieces of paper, it's a particular bliss that only a writer or artist understands.

Plum Sykes, Meg Cabot and me

It turns out that Chick Lit is not dead, after all. It just took a little breather while everyone read The DaVinci Code and The Secret, and now it's back! I'm thrilled to be included in a list of the hot new Chick Lit novels, alongside my novelist author idols Plum Sykes and Meg Cabot. Here's the writeup:

Sharon Naylor: It’s Not My Wedding (But I’m in Charge). Kensington, 2007.As if her life weren’t complicated enough, Mylie Ford, the much underappreciated go-to-gal for wedding planner-to-the-rich Zoe Brandenberg, tries to plan a secret celebrity wedding while dealing with an obsessed paparazzo, demanding clients, and her attraction to a dishy newly divorced personal chef whose 6-year-old daughter hates her on sight. By the same author: It's My Wedding, Too (2005).

I had a lot of fun writing this one, since all the celebrity weddings at the time gave me *so* much inspiration! And the bratty little girl in the novel is based on a real 'cherub' that I once had the misfortune of meeting, while the zonked-out celebrity wedding coordinator is *not* based on anyone I've ever met or worked with. [Just to make that clear ;)] The novel is out now, so if you're looking for something light and funny to read at the beach or poolside...

We shopped til they stopped us

In this age of credit card fraud and identity theft, it's a great thing when the credit companies recognize a big charge and put a freeze on your card until you call in with an authorization....just in case some lowlife is buying appliances on your dime. It's a safety thing so necessary in this society of ours, but it can stop a white-hot shopping day in its tracks. Joe and I started our Big Ticket shopping for the new house, just a few major things we need, and the credit card companies jammed on our brakes for us. Which is fine...it's an act of protection, not control. So we went off to lunch and then to the Benjamin Moore dealer to pick out dozens and dozens of paint color sample strips....which was *fun* and highly recommended if you're trying to figure out your wedding colors or future home decor colors!

So after we headed out of there (sped up in our color collection by wanting to get far away from some angry, bitter woman who was berating her parents for not knowing which shade of paint they wanted), we spread out the paint strips on my living room table and started selecting the colors for the rooms we'll paint in our house! We work well together, true partners with equal give-and-take, and we both love the colors we selected. I'm especially thrilled with the blue we chose for the home office....Joe has gorgeous ocean wave prints that are going to look amazing in there! The house is coming together little by little...I spent hours last night pricing hardwood floor materials and installation, learning about the realities of bamboo flooring which all the home decor shows say is the big, hot thing. Turns out, sunlight fades it, and cherrywood is prone to dents...who knew?

I'm having a rough time getting to work today...so much to do for the house, and since I started packing already, I can't seem to stop. ;) But this afternoon is for a succession of articles, and I'm gearing up for a knock-down over one of the injustices faced by all authors -- I may seem 'nice' and 'demure', but I will fight for fairness. So right now, I'm going to get on The Bean (which works like magic) and work out some of this aggression, then settle in to write about the new trends in coed bridal showers, followed by an article for a bigtime magazine where I've just gotten my first assignment -- a dream come true, so of course I'm taking extra care to keep this one within word count. I get 400 words for the assignment, and my draft is at about 850 words right now. So it's time to slice and dice the piece, carving out the statue in the slab of marble.

Before I go, check out the Sylvia Weinstock wedding favors at Godiva: www.godiva.com. And for inspiration on the Real Deal, cakes masterfully created by Sylvia Weinstock (who once offered to set me up with her nephew a long, long time ago!), visit: www.sylviaweinstock.com.

A brilliant emergency kit for the wedding day

You're going to love this! Instead of gathering up all those little things for your wedding day emergency bag -- like emory boards, a mini sewing kit, etc. -- you can get the new already-assembled and very cute kits at http://www.msandmrs.com/weddingDay.php. They have kits for you, for your groom, the bridesmaids, and even other non-bridal designs for expectant parents and college students. It's a brilliant idea, beautifully produced (you're going to love the mini briefcase!), and perfect for the wedding day. This one makes the list of My Favorites!

A sweet idea for showers

Finding a great favor for a bridal shower has turned into a search for not only a great item, but a great item that *gives back.* So check out www.chickchocolates.com, where 100% of the proceeds go to fight women's cancers. Even better, these chocolate bars have a healthy element: Strong Chick has extra calcium and Survivor Chick has dark chocolate along with white chocolate and raspberry. At the time of this writing, the bars are under $3 apiece.

5th one is IT

It was the fifth gown I tried on...my wedding gown. It's never the one you think it's going to be when there are 8 wedding gowns lined up in the dressing room. I went with my Mom to Tierney's Bridal in Morristown, NJ (www.tierneysbridal.com), where owner Alyssa Tierney guided me to the perfect gown that dropped my jaw and brought tears to both my and my mother's eyes. I'm not going to describe it or share a picture (since Joe reads this blog!), so I'll tell you a little about the ones that DIDN'T work:

1. Gown #1: You start with the one you like the least on the hanger. Never the one you like the best. So I looked like a cupcake with silver dragees in that one. Next!
2. Gown #2: Here Come the Boobs. Next!
3. Gown #3: This was the one I *thought* would be IT, but it was way too old-fashioned and too romantic with too much lace. It just didn't feel right and didn't elicit any emotional response. So that was a bummer.
4. Gown #4: I loved how it looked on the hanger, but the sample size was way too small and it was way too similar to both my sister's and sister-in-law's gowns. So that was a No.
Alyssa went back to grab some more options, and there it was. Gown number 5. I'm tearing up just thinking about it. And my Mom called me at 10pm last night to say, "I was just thinking about how beautiful you looked in that gown." That's how you know you got the right one...hours later, and you're still thinking about it. And the entire experience at Tierney's was phenomenal -- this is the gown shop all brides in my area need to visit. They are on The Knot's Best Of...list, and owner Alyssa Tierney gave honest feedback about each dress, was an incredible objective resource and had none of that ultra-pushy, ultra-complimentary pressuring that I've seen at other shops. It was like shopping with a friend who cares about you. I couldn't be more impressed.

After the gown shop, Mom and I celebrated with ice cream sodas, and then I called my 12 year-old niece in Tennessee to have her pick out her own junior bridesmaid dress online. THAT was fun! She has such a great little fashion sense and had such terrific suggestions about which color of dress would coordinate best with the bridesmaids dresses....and then she accomplished something that I and my Matron of Honor Jill haven't been able to do for a week: she picked out the perfect bridesmaid dress! While Jill and I have been e-mailing real and fake dress suggestions to each other, my niece dove into the Eden Bridals website and found the perfect style. She's so honored that she got to make the big decisions, and she cracked me up when I showed her my wedding gown photo -- where, admittedly, the model is standing very strangely with one arm up in a Grecian-type pose. My niece took one look at that photo and said "It looks like she's doing 'I'm a Little Teapot!'" So on the wedding day, she and I will get one photo of us both doing that exact same pose.

It was a great day....a really great day...

We met with our deejay last night

Joe and I met with our amazing deejay for the wedding, and we started building our song playlist. Granted, we were looking at The List of the top 100 most-often-played songs for weddings, so a lot of our personal choices and songs from our particular love story weren't on there. So it's Step 1, and we have a great playlist forming already. We just relaxed on the bed and marked off the 'Yes, No, and NO WAY' song titles. It was a lot of fun to start imagining our guests dancing to these songs, figuring out which songs fit with the formality of our afternoon wedding, and thinking about the fact that we will be dancing our First Dance as Husband and Wife on the very same dance floor where we had our actual first dance as a couple when I was Joe's date at a wedding there over a year ago. That's very cool.

Joe also met with our officiant yesterday -- he's a judge with whom Joe is very close, and it's a great honor to have him perform our ceremony.

Today is my gown shopping trip with my Mom. I'm tearing up a little bit right now, because it's such a blessing to be able to go with her. Not too many years ago, she was on a ventilator and wasn't supposed to make it. Now, she's doing great and we both get the dream come true of going gown shopping together. That in itself is a great wedding gift. And if I find The One today, all the better! I know exactly the style that will be perfect for our afternoon formal wedding, the bodice that looks best on me -- but as I write in all of my wedding books, it's important to be open and to try on styles that you don't initially have in mind. Because that's usually the one that's IT.

Wedding season allergies

I'm SO glad I wasn't at an outdoor wedding today. The pollen count was insanely high, and I found out at www.nasal-allergies.com that tomorrow is going to be worse. Bookmark this website so that you can check on the 4-day allergen forecast for your area, and talk to your doctor about the best course of treatment for you. As an allergy sufferer, I've already spoken to my florist about the best choices of flowers for my bouquet (it's trumpet-shaped flowers all the way) -- and all decor flowers will be from the 'safe list' of blooms so that both Joe and I can enjoy our day without allergy problems. I'll have an article up soon on the safest, non-pollen flowers to use on your wedding day, so keep an eye out for my update in the near future...

Sharing a photo

Here is a photo that Joe took in the Butterfly Conservatory -- I've ordered an 8x10 so that we can display it in our home. With the green background, it'll be gorgeous in our kitchen.

I've spent the morning booking the air duct cleaners and plumber, and starting the big process of boxing up all of my books, and now it's time to work on some very fun articles....I sent out a bunch of pitches this weekend after watching "The Pursuit of Happyness," so now I'm all fired up. I also just read my first issue of Blueprint magazine, from Martha Stewart, so I'm swirling with article ideas related to our new home. The big ideas always hit me at night, so I kept getting out of bed last night to write down some notes. Of course in the morning, some of it makes no sense, but some of it is golden.

Announcing my next Book Club selection!

I absolutely LOVE this book! Allison Winn Scotch has written a phenomenal debut novel that's perfect for this time in your life. As you're facing a big life transition in the form of your wedding, you'll find yourself thinking about how you got to be where you are, the people who helped form you along the way, and what you really need to embrace about your life right now. I'm thrilled to announce The Department of Lost and Found as the featured novel for my Bridal Book Club.

The Department of Lost and Found
by: Allison Winn Scotch

In this hopeful, humorous, and astonishingly deft debut, Allison Winn Scotch explores what happens when a young woman thinks she's lost everything that matters—and ends up discovering what's truly important. This is a novel that will leave you taking stock of what's important in your own life … and never letting it go.
It didn't start out as the worst day of Natalie Miller's life. At thirty, she is moving up the political ladder, driven by raw ambition and ruthless determination. As the top aide to New York's powerful female senator, she works hard, stays late, and enjoys every bit of it, even if the bills she's pushing through do little to improve the lives of the senator's constituents. And if her boyfriend isn't the sexiest guy alive, at least he's a warm body to come home to.
Then he announces he's leaving. But that news is barely a blip compared to what Natalie's doctor tells her: She has breast cancer. And she can't cure it by merely being headstrong. Now the life Natalie must change is her own.
All her energy, what little of it she has left, must go into saving herself from a merciless disease. So when she's not lying on the sofa recovering from her treatments and indulging in a curious addiction to The Price Is Right, she realizes it's time to take a hard look at her choices. She begins by tracking down the five loves-of-her-life to assess what went wrong. Along the way, she questions her relationships with her friends, her parents, her colleagues, the one who got away, and, most important, with herself: Why is she so busy moving through life that she never stops to embrace it?
As Natalie sleuths out the answers to these questions, her journey of self-discovery takes her down new paths and to unexplored places. And she learns that sometimes when life is at its most unexpected, it's not what you lose that makes you who you are . . . it's what you find.
Here's the Reading Guide: http://www.harpercollins.com/author/authorExtra.aspx?authorID=31472&isbn13=9780061161414&displayType=readingGuide

Wedding costs in your area

No matter where you are in your wedding planning process -- beginning, middle, or end -- it's a great idea to check out www.costofwedding.com to see what the average wedding expenses are in your area. I'm using the site right now to get a feel for prices around here, just so that I'm ultra-prepared for when we talk to our vendors. A lot of wedding stress is having unrealistic expectations, then getting a quote and almost falling over -- and that goes double for parents who have no idea what things cost now. You may find, if you've already booked a few things, that you've beaten the average budget! It's a great resource!

We're engaged!

Joe planned the most romantic and thoughtful proposal! Knowing that butterflies are a very important symbol in my family -- my grandmother was one of 11 siblings, and when the four brothers went off to WWII, the sisters formed 'The Butterfly Club' -- he surprised me by proposing in the Butterfly Conservatory at the Museum of Natural History in New York City! I had *no* idea that the proposal was about to happen...I thought we were in the city to go see a Spiderman attraction, and when we pulled up in front of the museum, it still didn't sink in! Joe said, "I just thought we'd stop in here first." I was so happy to get to see the butterflies that it didn't even occur to me that this could be IT. So we went into the biodome, which is like the Garden of Eden with tropical plants and flowers and hundreds of butterflies of all colors and sizes, and I was looking up in awe. Joe came up behind me and said, "Sharon...?" I turned around, and he was holding the ring. "Will you marry me?" came the question. I immediately started crying and said Yes. In the dreamlike state I was in, I know that the other people in the dome were saying, "They just got engaged," but that part is a blur. All I could focus on was Joe. Not the ring. Joe. My Joe. So we were the newly engaged couple kissing in the biodome, with me in tears. We asked someone to take our picture, so we captured the moment right away. It was amazing, a moment I'll never forget in a place that couldn't be more perfect. And seconds later, a big blue butterfly landed on my head and stayed there. We have a photo of that too, which is so going on display in our office. [And of course, all of my relatives LOVE the butterfly story. Especially my Aunt Millie, one of the seven sisters, who loved that I'm keeping the tradition alive in the family. What a heartwarming conversation today with her!] So with my ring in place, we exited the biodome, and Joe just grabbed me up for a big kiss right there in the middle of the museum, and every one of his kisses has always given me...well, butterflies. So it was beyond perfection.

We went for lunch, and then over to see the Spiderman attraction, and it was a very happy trip home. Every now and then as Joe was driving, he would keep looking at the ring on my finger. And he smiled.

He planned the perfect proposal....

I am the luckiest woman in the world....

As if it couldn't get any better, tonight was his company's softball game, and as I was walking across the field to where he was, I had to compose myself a little bit. Seeing him in his softball uniform, gloves, sunglasses and hat, all I could think was, "Wow...that is one gorgeous man!" So the past 48 hours have been a dream come true and beyond. In one of the great moments of sharing the news with my friends, I was in my supermarket and all of the ladies who work there who have been so wonderful to my family these past 4 years celebrated our good news! And a sweet woman in line behind me complimented the ring and shared the story about how she was married to the best man in the world for 60 years. She wouldn't change a thing, since it was so perfect. She wished us the same kind of happiness.

The joy of marrying such a wonderful man is a blessing beyond belief, and these spontaneous well-wishes from our friends and family (and strangers) just make it all the more special.

I've rambled on enough for now...I stayed away from my blog for the past two days since I'm so deliriously happy as to be almost incoherent! I get to spend my life with Joe...and he brought me to the butterflies.....

You never know how much something means to you...

...until it goes missing. I'm talking about my mail, which the postal system started forwarding to my future address NOW, instead of the June date I gave them. So I'm freaking out, because this is an important mail week for me. I'm expecting some important paperwork. I realize, there are far bigger problems to have. But in the life of an author, the first weeks of May are 'good news weeks' where you skip to the mailbox and the birds are singing and everything's rosy. We live for the first few weeks of May. So I sped over to the new house to ask the current owner to keep an eye out for my mail, then sped over to the post office, then sped over to another building where I got an inside look at the bowels of where they sort the mail. And then it was a pile of paperwork. I have to wait and trust and hope that all my paperwork gets here.

I'll laugh about this in a few days when my mailbox springs open filled with my important papers and my magazines, but today...not so much with the laughing. Three different 'prepare for your move' checklists said to put in your Change of Address form 4-6 weeks in advance...I guess this is part of the process when you're buying your first house. Live and learn.

I'm pretty much shot today, such is the glamorous life of an author ;), so I will take a midday bath and read Philippa Gregory's newest novel. Speaking of books, congratulations to my colleague Janine Latus for making the New York Times bestseller list! Her story is one you won't forget...And in further good news from my colleagues at ASJA, my colleague Sherry Suib Cohen has also made the NYT bestseller list! We're having a good week in ASJA! If you're a writer and want to join a circle of highly experienced, successful authors and magazine writers, visit www.asja.org. We all raise the bar for one another, with professional advice and shoulders to cry on at times...I can't imagine existing in the tough world of publishing without that community. Check out the articles on the non-member page to get some inside scoop on the industry before you apply for membership.

My first all-writing day in weeks

The To-Do list is both sides of a yellow legal pad paper, so it's time to get down to business here. I've been flitting around booking our photographer, investigating DJs, and sitting in my car waiting for the plumber to arrive at the new house to give us an estimate on some repairs, and it's so great to start getting through this list of e-mails to return, articles and essays to write, negotiations for new books, and exciting new projects to discuss. I started my day with a giant smile...last night, Joe brought me a dozen pink roses to thank me for dealing with the plumber issues. So my early morning shuffle to the coffeemaker led me right to that vase of roses on my kitchen counter. Sigh...So it's a pure writing day with a clear mind and great work ahead...

Trying on rings with Joe

Have you ever had so much joy that you can't even put it into words? I'm a Word Girl, so when that happens...you know it's great. I'll try to describe the day we had yesterday, but there's nothing I could say to convey just how wonderful it was.

After a morning of a dentist appointment for Joe, and our plumber cancelling on us after we waited for hours, Joe suggested that we go to the jewelers to try on engagement rings. I had shown him the setting I wanted on the Hearts on Fire webpage (www.heartsonfire.com), so he found the nearest retailer, and we drove out to them. Let me just tell you...if you live *anywhere* near Short Hills, NJ, make your first and only stop Bernie Robbins Fine Jewelry (www.bernierobbins.com). The store is gorgeous, the selection divine, and Kenny, Patricia, and Pete at the store made the entire experience completely magical. I tried on a few versions of 'my ring,' discovered that I am *not* a size 6 but am smaller (weight loss in the fingers too? Excellent!), and we agreed on the perfect ring. It sparkled so much it hurt our eyes, especially when we were allowed to take it outside to see it in the sun. With the choice made, the store brought out the most amazing champagne I have *ever* had in my life, Kenny proposed a toast to us, and it was truly an amazing experience that I could never even have imagined. When they wrapped the box, I was in tears when I saw that they had attached a tiny faux monarch butterfly -- which is a very important symbol in my family, one that reminds me of my grandmother and her sisters. So the waterworks started...first and foremost, because this is all with Joe. He could give me a ring made of twine and I would love it. Joe tried on a few wedding bands, and I love his choices. We'll definitely head back there to buy our bands. So when the shopping trip was done, after a round of hugs with everyone (even the doorman!), Joe and I stepped out into the sunlight with our new purchase, and -- get this -- were showered with tiny white flower petals falling from the trees. How perfect and amazing is that?

The fire inspector called...

Part of buying a new home is the inevitable chaos of trying to get all the little things arranged. For our new house, to make a loooong story short, we have to check into the fire codes about doors in the house and our stove range hood. I'll spare you the details, but the issue in question means that I've had to call about 20 different departments and agencies to get two little questions answered. I keep believing that this cloud of chaos is temporary, that we'll get through the aggravation of it all and emerge from moving day to have that Dunkin Donuts coffee on the stairs and feel a huge sense of happiness and relief. I'm channeling my anger over some pretty unfair dealings by paring down, getting rid of old files, filling up boxes with pre-packing things like all my handbags and my winter shoes and jackets...just to feel like I have some sense of progress going on. I ordered my new letterhead and just found out that I can take my phone number with me (yay!). I understand that it's natural and expected to have swings from panic to elation when you're buying a new home, and we are through the worst of it...so here's hoping that the next few weeks bring us all easy solutions and one-phone-call answers. I'm an optimist. This new house is a blessing, and a wise philosopher said, "Don't confuse your blessings with your burdens." Sure, it'll take a platter of nachos or a Haagen Dazs bar to quell the crappy stuff sometimes, but it's going to be an amazing, positive change in our lives. We just have to get there...

Announcing my newest spotlight company -- Hearts on Fire

I'm thrilled to announce that my newest spotlight company on my website is Hearts on Fire (www.heartsonfire.com), the makers of the world's most perfectly-cut diamonds and exquisite designs for your rings. The graphic above is an image that we will be using in one of my upcoming books, just to give you a taste of what you'll find on their site. Check out their Dream Diamond, which is a stunner, and get your detailed answers from their Diamond Wizard on the site, as well as at http://diamondwiz.blogspot.com.

And keep an eye out for my newest wedding style section on my website, www.sharonnaylor.net, where you'll find special sections to accompany my upcoming book "What's Your Bridal Style?", co-written with Casey Cooper of Botanicals in Chicago. We're going to have detailed articles on determining your ring style, your tabletop style, your decor style, your flower style and more.

Amazing new things going on this spring, including a new call-in feature for my Wedding Podcast Network talk show 'Here Come the Moms' with my co-host Holli Ehrlich, the launch of my handbags line, and an announcement of a new wedding registry program for all of you home improvement couples in NJ....

Joe asked my for hand

I am on Cloud 10. Joe has asked my parents for my hand in marriage. I'm in such bliss, I hardly know what to do with myself.

My parents knew it was coming, so unbenownst to us, Mom went out and got a platter of sandwiches, a cheesecake, and the kind of lemon seltzer that Joe likes. So that's what was waiting for us a little later in the day...

We started our morning with breakfast in the park, and we stopped off to get Joe's artist friend's limited edition artwork framed for our new home. As we waited for a couple to decide between frames for a truly mindboggling piece of art (I'll say no more), I was in a panic that my Dad was going to fall asleep before we got there. But we arrived in time, and we sat down to eat. Joe gave no hint of being nervous, and I wish I could say that I was hiding my excitement well. At one point, I gave him the 'go!' look, and he just smiled. So we chatted over lunch for a while, and then Joe said he has grown very fond of me, and well, since I started planning the wedding already, would my parents agree to letting him take me off their hands. It was the perfect thing to say, very much his sense of humor, and my parents loved it. I was just looking at my parents' faces -- they were just overjoyed....and if there's anything my parents deserve after 4 years of cancer treatments it's to be overjoyed. They absolutely love Joe, and it's like my entire family is getting a great gift. Even Peanut the dog refrained from begging at the table and just laid down by Joe's feet. So it was a celebration, and one of those once-in-a-lifetime moments that surpasses your dreams. Whatever happens in the next year with my Dad's health, I'll always know that we shared that moment, with him looking so pleased and so proud, so welcoming of Joe. And my mom adores Joe like a son, for the happiness he has brought me and especially for a moment of great kindness during my brother's wedding. So this was the blissful moment I have been hoping for, and Joe made it extra-special. Sorry to gush here, but I won the lottery when I found him.

So as I'm floating, I can now share the news that even though we haven't gotten to the ring yet, we have our ceremony and reception site booked, our Save the Dates ready to roll, our photographer booked, and a celebrity performer for our reception ready for that one phone call to say it's a go. Stay tuned on that one, because it's huge. Magazine editors want to cover the wedding, but we'll have to discuss the breadth of that since our day will be our day. We'll be honored to be spotlit in my favorite magazines, but we have to discuss the details. Right now, we're both in new home chaos, with finding movers and pacing our path through that. I spent hours tonight on the www.benjaminmoore.com site trying out wall colors for our office, our kitchen and our bathrooms -- so visit that site for amazing color samples for your wedding as well as for your home. The interactive tool there is the best thing ever.

So there you have it...we're almost officially official with the engagement, and I can finally talk about it now that the respect of asking both of my parents has been delivered. I am going to be Joe's wife. It's a greater honor than anything I've ever accomplished in my career, even better than hugging Oprah after I taped her show. Sorry, O, but this is a bigger dream come true. And it all gets even better from here. I'm so looking forward to sharing the planning with Joe and his family -- his mom doesn't have daughters, so I'd love to share the flowers and the gown shop with her -- and of course my Mom and I will work on the wedding as well.

This was the best day...

'Here Come the Moms' podcast is up!

The newest segment of 'Here Come the Moms' is live at http://tinyurl.com/2mz9m3. In this show, we discuss the best first steps to establishing your wedding-plannning team, and we answer a question from a listener in Ireland on how to bond parents who live far apart. If you have any questions you'd like us to tackle on upcoming shows, just send us an e-mail!

For fashion-forward brides and bridesmaids

Yesterday, I had the opportunity to talk with fashion It-girl Tory Burch (www.toryburch.com) about her new line of ballet slippers as well as her gorgeous fall collection, and it hit me that today's brides and bridesmaids would rather bring high fashion into the wedding day and wedding gifts than any silver picture frames. Tory is the definition of today's classic chic, and I *love* it that her lines are inspired by famous female icons. This spring, it was a mix of Grace Kelly and Edie Sedgwick, and this fall it's a Catherine Deneuve in a deliciously wearable way. So check out Tory's site and do some shopping, and see her fall line on www.style.com. I'm doing a celebrity profile on her for Park Place magazine, so you'll have to wait for that one to hear about her fashion philosophy, inspiration, and how she does it all as mom to three and step-mom to three (yes, just like the Brady bunch). Her site says she can go from boardroom to ballroom in a style second, and that's definitely someone to look at for style inspiration! Also on www.style.com, the newest editors' picks for your wedding weekend fashion plans.

Congratulations Tom and Michele!

Yesterday, I got a knock on my door, and there was my friend Tom with photos of his newborn baby girl! Tom and his wife Michele are my dear friends who used to live next-door to me, and their longtime efforts to have a baby finally brought them to this day. The baby is gorgeous, Mom is doing well, and Tom was over the moon. I remember the funny story of the day we met: it was the day before I moved into my place, and I had a segment shoot for Lifetime Television in my pre-furniture apartment. Michele met me while the camera crew was bringing in the lights, production assistants were all over the place...she had no idea what was going on. Later, when I met Tom, we discovered that we went to the same high school, and my sister dated his older brother. So we were quite a happy crew here...shoveling snow together at night, having fondue parties, celebrating New Year's and St. Patrick's Day. I miss having them here, but I'm thrilled beyond belief for their baby blessing and their new life.

Sigh....

With each step we take towards closing on our house, the more I'm thinking about how dreamy it's going to be to work with Joe on painting the rooms, putting down flooring and tile, even picking out the new fireproof door for the garage. We've strolled through Lowes and Home Depot checking out options, and I confess I've looked at him from the end of an aisle and had to suppress a giant smile as he looked at a new handheld drill and bits. This is one gorgeous man, and I'm so lucky to share this whole thing with him. So here I am, taking an afternoon tea break, picturing him with a little paint smear on his cheek, those amazing shoulders and arms reaching up to paint a wall...we'll have the radio on in the background, and I've even decided that I need to be wearing little overall shorts as my 'working on the house' uniform. I'll run out to Dunkin Donuts and bring him back a coffee, and we'll sit on the stairs looking around in wonder at Our Place with goofy smiles on our faces. And not from the paint fumes. Sure, there's a lot of crap to go through first with closing costs and lead paint testing...but the challenges make the outcome even better.

We both have working weekends planned. I'm writing all the rewards for my book 300 ROMANTIC WAGERS, and I'm also submitting the questions list for Book Club on www.pashweddings.com where the ladies are *loving* my novel It's My Wedding Too. If you don't have your copy yet, and you'd like to join us for a laugh-filled discussion, there's still time. We'll be talking about the book two weeks from now. So come join us....

No writing today

Have you ever spent the entire day at the bank, trying to fix a mistake they made and deal with all the red tape...during tax week? I'm exhausted, and I'm not working today. If I don't have a clear mind, my work doesn't come out great. So I did some resource research for my new book on romantic wagers, but the text just isn't going to come out today...so it's green tea with lemon time, and I'll curl up with a good book. I'm ending the day with good news (at last!) -- my Bridesmaid Handbook showed up somewhere in the media today and sales are soaring. And my dear friend Linda sent in some donations for my Leukemia & Lymphoma Society fundraiser. So regardless of the bank fiasco, I'm callin' it a good day. :)

THE ring to get your bridesmaids -- Oprah says so...

I flipped out when I saw this one...it's on Oprah's hot list, the lineup of celebrities wearing this one is unreal, it's GORGEOUS...and it's under $300. Brides are picking this up as the perfect, indulgent gift for their much-loved bridesmaids and mothers, Check it out, and click on celebrities to see whose company your ladies will be in...http://www.divinediamonds.com/ahring.php. Read the description carefully, since the AH could stand for 'available and happy' for your single bridesmaids, or 'attached and happy' for your non-singles.

This past week has been amazing...Joe and I went for the inspection on our new house, and I'm amazed at how thorough our inspector was. It takes so much of the worry out when you know you're in good hands. But we really got to see much more detail about the house itself...taking measurements, planning our furniture layout...and that ceiling fan has to go! Right now, our office has orange shag carpeting and dark brown wood paneled walls -- it's like Mike Brady's office! But it soon will have new flooring and new walls, our matching desks and executive chairs, and the InStyle Weddings cover and article that Joe had framed for me. While most people dream about what their kitchen is going to look like, I'm dreaming about the office ;) Oh, okay, the kitchen too. Although I kinda like the 1970s butterfly wallpaper in the kitchen (kidding, honey!).

My niece and nephew were up from Tennessee for the Easter weekend, Dad got out of the hospital in time to enjoy the amazing meal my Mom and I prepared, we did my uncle Augie's traditional egg war (smacking the ends of dyed eggs together to see which one cracks -- which is *really* funny when you think about the irony of it), the kids did an egg hunt, and we played for hours with the Smurf collection from our childhood. The kids finally got to meet Tigger the hamster, and Joe finished off the weekend in style with a popcorn and Spiderman 2 movie night. The kids never want to leave. I don't blame them. It's all fun at Aunt Shashie's ;) And Joe's wonderful family sent home some lovely flowers and chocolates for me since I missed their family celebration...I'm overwhelmed with how blessed I am to get a great man and be welcomed into his great family like this. And a message to Aunt Chris...the bunny buns are delicious! Thank you!

Photo displays at your wedding

It's long been a tradition to display family photos at a wedding, and now you can give your digital (or scanned) photos a new look -- a comic book illustrated version, the Andy Warhol four color block squares, colored pencil effect, watercolor effect, and more -- at www.photofiddle.com. Could be a great idea for parents' and bridal party gifts as well...

Escape into a novel

When the wedding stress gets to you and people are driving you crazy, you might think about packing up the car and taking off for a weekend. But there's an easier escape: dive into a great book. Laugh with my novel IT'S MY WEDDING TOO (you'll love how the bride handles her battling mothers of the bride and groom) or travel back in time to the intrigues of the royal court with any of Phillippa Gregory's books. I highly recommend The Other Boleyn Sister if you've having problems with a jealous or micro-managing sister ;) Reading has always been an escape for me, so I encourage you to make time for a little fictional escape. You can get my novel, reviewed on the PashWeddings.com site as 'hysterical!', at http://www.sharonnaylor.net/books.htm.