In memory of Bob Milan

After receiving a response card from Mrs. Milan on her own, I knew something was up. Our dear family friend, the teller of brilliant and brilliantly-delivered jokes, passed away on the 29th, and somehow the message never got to us about his life remembrance ceremony. I'm heart-broken for his wife of 57 years, astounded by her class in responding to our wedding invitation during that terrible time in her life, and will certainly donate to his favorite charity in memory of him. I remember a great story about Bob -- I was in college, living with my dear friends Jen and Pam, and Bob asked me what the biggest challenge of apartment life was. I said, 'affording toilet paper' just joking around. The next time I saw him, he had gotten me a case of toilet paper. That's the kind of guy Bob was. The kind you wished you had as a grandfather. In many ways, he was a grandfather to me, and I wish him an eternity of peaceful rest. He made the world a brighter place. Much love to Jane and to his two beautiful granddaughters.

The gift of what goes wrong...

I must admit that it took a hot bath and a walk around the block to clear my head enough to get to this realization, but there are gifts in the things that go wrong with weddings. I can turn someone's crappy comment into an article. I can appreciate the people who *do* express their joy for us. After the frustration wears off, I mine the problem for the gold. Every bride and groom have problems before the wedding day, and the ones you don't see coming can hit you at a weak spot. And it's such a sadness for me that anyone would try to hit us at a weak spot right now. But they do. It's just a sorry, sad fact. What's cheering me, and what I'll laser-focus on right now, are the many notes of congratulations coming at us from my community on iVillage and on Pash Weddings. Strangers wishing us well, from the goodness of their hearts. Someone at the bridal show I attended said something profound: "Happy people are the quiet ones." They don't give you crap because they're too busy being happy. So true.

So whatever else might go wrong will become an article, a help for other brides and grooms, and in the pruning of our life right now, we make room for the good people who express the best of everything that we deserve. Ironic, isn't it, that we cut back a bunch of trees and pulled the gunk out of the hidden recesses of our gutters last weekend? That's what wedding seasons include as well. It's the dark side of it. I've long advised people to focus on the good, focus on their love, embrace their spouse-to-be, and try, TRY to focus on the good stuff even when the bad stuff is loud (some of my brides write to me because parents have threatened to not come to the wedding if they don't get their way. Can you believe the selfishness in that?!). Weddings bring out the best and worst of people. No bride or groom is exempt from that. We're just lucky that we have soooo many great people with good characters who are happily, willingly doing all they can to make this wedding day fabulous for us and for our circle of loved ones. Let's not forget, both of our families have been through a lot in the past few years, and this wedding is a victory party for all of us, a time for closeness, a joyful gathering.

Yeah, it's a gauntlet. But at the end of it, you change what needs to be changed, you thank for what needs to be thanked, and your life is blessed because you're married to your best friend. Those who want to attract bad karma to themselves can do so. As for us, we're experiencing the great karma that comes from all we have done to care for others over the years. And that's the best part. The things you don't expect to go so RIGHT are in the mix as well. Just focus on that!

A GREAT bridal show

This weekend, I attended THE best bridal show I've ever been at -- http://www.beforeido2008.com/. It was elegant, beautiful, with tons of great food and wedding cake, and seminars to educate and rescue all of the newly-engaged couples and their parents. All of my favorite NJ wedding coordinators were there, so I got to spend some time with the best in the business, and in a little bit of downtime I sat for the caricature artist who created my first caricature since I was about 6 years old at Disneyworld. I apparently bear a striking resemblance to the Olsen Twins now.

Speaking of childhood photos, I spent Saturday searching through my old photo albums for one picture of me that we're going to display at our rehearsal dinner: I'm about 4 years old, in a stroller, laughing at Tigger in the Disney park. And I *found* it, along with countless hysterical photos of me with the 70s patterned dresses, ringlet curls, dancing school portraits, family photos from our many fun adventures and traditions, and a display of my childhood Smurf collection. Still have 'em, plus the little houses and the snail cart. Looking back through all of that stuff made for a delightful day, which got even better when Joe and I [after laughing at the bad haircut photos] spent our first spring-weather day doing yardwork, trimming bushes and trees by our driveway, and clearing the gutters [that one was all Joe]. Spring cleaning might sound like a burden to some people, but it's one of those Snapshot Moments for me, one of the things I was thinking about when we signed the papers to buy this house.

So it was an awesome weekend, and now I'm back to book-writing, promoting, and article-pitching. And congrats to Joe for landing a big article assignment -- I may have to find my Writer Smurf to put on a celebratory cupcake!

My favorite post on iVillage

A fan asked me recently which post on my blog "Planning in Peace" at iVillage Weddings is my all-time favorite, and I have to say it's this one: "What Falls Away". The sad fact is that while weddings *should* be magical times where the bride and groom get a brief window of everyone working to make their dreams come true, that's not always the case. You do find out, sadly, that some people aren't what you thought they were, or that they don't value your friendship as much as you though they did. You may have canceled your own vacation plans in the past to attend their wedding, but here they are not coming to yours because they have to go to their nephew's whiffle ball game, or they have an appointment with a psychic that day. The 'reasons' can be mind-blowing. Of course you will get some reasons that inspire empathy on your part -- we have some guests with tough medical issues we understand completely, and we have a gravely ill great-aunt right now. Guest list responses aren't the only issue here...I hear from a lot of brides whose bridesmaids are letting them down, and that's the Big One. So I'm speaking generally to my big audience of brides, grooms and their families that the wedding season will present a great gift, albeit a tough one: you find out who you will devote extra effort to keep close in your life. That's looking at the positives. We have 140+ guests who are making great sacrifices in money and time to be with us, and great friends who jump to fulfill our wishes for this day. So if you have some 'What Falls Away' issues in your own wedding, join us in focusing on the Awesome People. I've always felt that what falls away just makes room for bigger blessings down the road.

Lost in the mail!

We're just finding out that some of our guests never received their invitations in the mail! Which just goes to show you that you can be ultra-organized, send your invitations out early like we did, and STILL have a snafu! So I'm e-mailing all of our non-responding guests to see what their status is. Pays to have a good backup plan! These kinds of 'out of your control' issues can't be avoided...you just have to roll with it. It's frustrating whenever your careful plans get blown out of the water, especially when you get heat from other people for things that are not your fault, but here's a way to remedy that: keep a running list of all the things that are going RIGHT during the planning stages. And visit wedding message boards to get a little perspective by reading stories from people who have BIG problems, like an out of control guest list that's 150+ people over what the room can hold (These people will have to change venues at great cost!). Compared to that, our issues are tiny.



I wrote The Bride's Diplomacy Guide to help couples handle the problems that other people stir up, so if you're having clashes with your wedding players, pick up my book and get your scripts on how to handle

In the middle of this, I work...

Things get very up and down during the last few months before a wedding. It's quite a ride, with the elation of a Yes response followed by the deflation of a No. The thrill of getting the cameras ordered, followed by the sad discovery that a product you wanted is no longer available. Hang on tight, because the hits keep coming....as do the thrills. You really have to have an iron stomach to get through these last few weeks, since so much is going on. The key is to write everything down, and then celebrate crossing each task off your list. It gets it all out of your head. Everyone's going to have ideas now, so just let that float away. Don't even think about changing anything. And lean on your bridal party. They WANT to help. I have the best bridal party in the *world*, and my Matron of Honor just answered a dilemma in 2.3 seconds with an offer that's going to be one of the many highlights of the day. I'll keep this one a surprise for now, since it might wind up in an article I can't scoop on my blog.

And in the middle of this, I'm writing my new book on life after the wedding, so when I can shake off the nagging To-Do list, I'm in a Zen state where time flies, the words just flow, and I'm cracking myself up with the clever little concept that just came to me, or the inside joke I embedded in the draft. [Every one of my books has inside jokes in them...only those closest to me could ever pick them out, and only one editor has ever chopped one]. I'm at the halfway point in the book right now. Oh yeah, there's going to be a big edit down the road, but I'm very pleased with how this is coming...especially because I'm writing it in the middle of Wedding Whirlwind. Speaking of which...I'm creating my seating chart as responses come in. So I won't have that insanely stressful task a week from now.

Okay, time to get back to work...I have a goal of 20 more pages written today, so that I don't have to bring my laptop on the honeymoon!

Every bride gets to this point...

...and probably most grooms, but I can't wait for this wedding to just get here, be wonderful, and be done. There's a lot of assumption out there that because I'm a wedding expert, everything is easy, things are just peachy, and it's going to be the wedding that Donald Trump would throw for Ivanka. It's going to be a gorgeous wedding, yes. Joe and I have put a lot of effort into it, we do have most details organized wonderfully and we do have the benefit of my knowing my industry. But for ANY wedding, there are always elements you can't control. You can't control the weather. You can't control what other people will do and say. You can't control the flower crop in Ecuador or the price of seafood. So to every wedding couple out there, I must remind you: this wedding planning season is very short compared to the life you're going to live together as a family. Focus on what's going well, and expect that some things are going to go very differently than you imagined. But at the end of the day, even with flowers that aren't from Ecuador, you will be married to your best friend. I know, it stinks when challenges arise, but there's a beautiful life ahead of you.

Despite some guest list issues this weekend, Joe and I completed some very exciting tasks on our wedding list. The honeymoon is booked! We found the butterflies for our cake top! We found our centerpiece vases for 1/3 the price we found previously! We finalized our payments with key vendors! We ordered our tabletop cameras! We received some wonderful news about guests who *will* be at the wedding. And we set up our second bedroom so beautifully, it looks like a 5-star bed and breakfast suite. We attended the Rutgers/Seton Hall basketball game which was very exciting at the end.

In a few weeks, I'll be married to my best friend, and he will be married to me. It can't arrive soon enough.

The Yes box and the No box

When the response cards start coming in, the best way to stay organized is to create little boxes [we used the ones our response cards and reception cards came in] for your Yes and No response cards. Want to know your running headcount right now? Just flip through the cards in the Yes box, and top the pile with a sticky note bearing the number for all the cards below, so that you don't have to count them all over and over again.

And looking ahead, figure out a great way to store these response cards as keepsakes. Many of our guests wrote wonderful notes on them, wishing us well, and these we'll have forever. So do you have a pretty box to store them in? Card and craft stores have fantastic fabric-wrapped gift boxes with bows already on them that I think would be the perfect holders for these little cards, and they're just a few dollars each. Some grooms have MADE keepsake boxes for their brides to store all of these little collectibles and engagement cards [we're saving ours too!], and that becomes an heirloom for your new family.

So look at your response cards for beyond the wedding. How will you keep and protect yours?

DIY Cake Topper?

Looks like we'll have to make our own cake topper, since the design we discussed doesn't seem to exist out there! I've checked everywhere, and there's just no sign of the butterfly-themed style. If I ever retire from writing, looks like I've just discovered a big hole in the wedding decor market that I can fill with DIY (Do It Yourself) designs!

You'd be stunned by how many entrepreneurs start off their million-dollar businesses with exactly this same type of moment. What you're looking for isn't out there, or it's cheesy, and you can whip up better ones yourself. Thus, your empire is born. I know companies that started up because the bride couldn't find a sparkly-enough veil, or a plain enough ring pillow...this wonderful wedding industry may have a reputation of being expensive, but it certainly does inspire future moguls!

Hmmmm....my own line of cake toppers...sounds like a plan.

Don't they realize there's a future ahead?

I've been thinking a lot about a bride's family I've been helping at my iVillage Weddings etiquette board...they have an out-of-control mother of the groom who has essentially planned a rehearsal dinner that's way bigger and grander than the wedding. So she 'scooped' the wedding in some sick competition with the bride's family. She will 'win' this one, but at what cost? Alienating the bride and groom? Hurting feelings? Embarrassing her husband? It seems that some people put 'winning' above all other things, eschewing etiquette and what the bride and groom want just to get their way. They don't care at all about other people's feelings. This mother-in-law is going to get her Wedding #1....but she has a lifetime of loneliness ahead of her. Her steamrolling personality will have no one to steamroll. She's just planned a very dark future for herself...because no one forgets the way you behave when a wedding is being planned. No one forgets how you hurt the bride or groom. Your need to 'win' means you lose, bigtime. This pre-wedding era is a sacred time when everything does mean more. If you blow it, there's no going back. I'm so upset for this bride and groom from the post on my etiquette board, but here's the bright side: the mother made a big show of just how self-centered she is, and this will help protect the couple in the future. There's no way this groom will let his bride be hurt again by her.

Catch me in the New York Times!

Thinking of inviting kids to your wedding? Or leaving them off the guest list? Check out my advice in Sunday's New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/02/fashion/weddings/02Field.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&ref=style&adxnnlx=1204554694-NbPUS/yn3CBT+DAElZFJCw [Please note: the reporter mistakenly attributed my advice about having a low-set kiddie food bar at your wedding -- so kids can help themselves -- to a mention of our wedding. We're not having a low-set hot dog and mac and cheese station for the kids invited to our event.]

We had a fabulous weekend, starting with the 75th birthday party of the judge who will perform our wedding ceremony. How wonderful to see the closeness of that family, hear about his meet-and-greet with the Pope, watch a gorgeous photo montage of him, and enjoy the great company at our table. We're honored to have been included for that lovely evening.

On Sunday, we gathered with Joe's family for his mother's birthday brunch, and we did get to talk a little bit about the wedding plans, timing, the fun stuff that's upon us now that we're under 2 months until the big day. Speaking of two, today is the 2-year anniversary of our first date. For our first anniversary, we went back to the same jazz club where we first met...so what will we do to celebrate today? I'm on a super-tight deadline for my new book, and Joe has piles of work, so this one might be a cuddle-on-the-couch party. Which is just as thrilling. Sigh....

Leap Year

Happy Leap Year!

As you might have heard, this day carries a rather odd history. In the year 1288, Queen Margaret declared that on February 29, a woman had the right to propose marriage to any man she wanted. Men who refused proposals were actually punished for saying No! The fine took the form of a kiss, or a silk dress or pair of gloves given to the rejected lady. In those days, you didn't want to be the lady with the largest collection of gloves, I would think. Just a fun little FYI I thought I'd share with you.

Car trouble

The rest of your world doesn't stop just because you're planning a wedding. The everyday inconveniences of real life do pop up when you're in a stressed-out state, so try to look on the bright side when you experience a snafu.

This morning, I was a bit of a wreck over my car that wouldn't start, but I chilled by feeding myself some better thoughts: these are professionals I'm working with who are going to help me (the very sweet lady at AAA, the towtruck guy, our mechanic); it's not snowing; my car didn't burst into flames; I didn't run over Joe in the driveway this morning when we tried to push my car out into the street; my car was overdue for an oil change anyway; I've never ridden in a tow truck before. Yes, you have to get creative, and these thoughts often come after you've done a little bit of snapping (sorry, honey!). But my car's in the shop for an overhaul, and this timing is sure to be a blessing by saving me from even greater trouble in the future. So thank you to our mechanic Richie, for your great work on our behalf, and many congratulations on your upcoming wedding!

You'll soon be able to see it

Now that I've seen Joe in his tux and worn my own wedding dress during my first fitting, I've got the visuals that allow me to imagine snapshots from our wedding day. I can see Joe at the end of the aisle, I can imagine us dancing to our song. And it's been an amazing shift in mindset from being in planning mode, and check-writing mode, to being in visualizing mode. You *have* to let yourself see images from your big day as the wedding day draws near, because you won't otherwise have anything to hold onto when the stress hits you. So if you're closing in on your wedding day, make that first dress fitting early and go with your groom to the tux shop. With those visuals, pretty soon, you'll have 'snapshots' of your own bringing a smile to your face too!

Praise for 'The Mother of the Bride Book!'

I just came home from my wedding gown fitting (it looks phenomenal, and I got my headpiece as well!), to find this: http://dallasbrides.wordpress.com/2008/02/26/the-mother-of-the-bride-book/

I had the most wonderful time at my fitting -- Alyssa Tierney, the owner of the salon and a recent bride herself made the entire experience wonderful, and she LOVED the shoes that Joe got me as my wedding gift. We chatted about what it's like to plan a wedding when you're a wedding expert, how some things are more challenging than you expected, and it was such a fantastic discussion. So, brides, don't shy away from talking with other recent brides about their experiences -- it's unbelievably comforting to hear what they went through and what they did about similar issues. That often knocks a chunk of wedding stress right out the window.

Now for a little piece of final fitting advice...make sure you bring along someone who will be with you on the wedding day, like a maid of honor or a mom, since they will need to learn how to bustle your gown, help you get into the dress, fasten it up, detach a train, and yes, help you in the restroom. This is something you might not have thought of, so if you have your final fitting booked, make sure you call your MOH or mom to invite her along. You're going to want the help of someone who knows what she's doing on the wedding morning!

Our response cards are coming in!

I'm practically skipping to the mailbox every day to collect our response card envelopes, and Joe and I have an agreement to open them together. He gets half and I get half...which makes every day of our quick wedding countdown a celebration. We've only had one write-in of an extra And Guest so far, but that one was okay...we'll let that one slide. If we get any other response card 'surprises,' I'll make the phone call to correct it. This reminds me of a fabulous family memory: for my sister's wedding, we took an extra response card, wrote in an acceptance of 8 people with a note saying "Thank you for letting us bring our cousins and foreign exchange student Sven to the wedding", and my mom was perfectly poker-faced when she brought the card to my dad. My brother and I were laughing so hard, we had to turn around so my Dad wouldn't see. We got him with that one. For our wedding now, my brother just wrote in an e-mail response to the same effect, joking about his foreign exchange student Sven. So that was a fun faux-response for me. Will we have a sense of humor a few weeks from now? We shall see...but it's a ridiculous amount of fun right now.

A sharp-dressed man

Last night, Joe and I went for his tux try-on, and the white vest with white long tie looks amazing. HE looks amazing. I had to fight back a little tear, because that's what he's going to look like on our wedding day! How awesome to get the snapshot now...these special moments make all the planning fuss less onerous. But we're in great shape, everything's completely organized and details are set...

Brides, try to arrange it so that you're there for the groom's tux shopping trip. I can't even begin to describe how fabulous a moment it is when he steps out of the dressing room in a tux. Sigh....

Catch me on Get Married with David Tutera tomorrow morning!

My 5 Questions segment airs tomorrow morning on Lifetime Television, and also as Episode 40 on www.getmarried.com! So be sure to tune in!

Our invitations are out now, and everyone loves the beautiful job Linda at www.invitations4sale.com has done with our Carlson Craft design. Joe picked out the Willa Cather quote that we feature on our invitations, and the feedback we're getting is that they're elegant and classic. Just what we were going for! I'm working on the morning-after breakfast invitations right now, in between writing my newest book. Tonight, Joe and I go for his tux try-on, and then we're parked in front of American Idol for the evening. Bliss!

Tune in to Here Come the Moms on Wedding Podcast Network

My newest segment on Wedding Podcast Network is up! Tune in to 'Here Come the Moms' to find out the latest tips for moms planning rehearsal dinners! There's a lot of new stuff going on right now, so don't miss out on the top trends and etiquette issues, budget choices and hosting advice!

Time with Pam, Ron and the A-Team

This past weekend, Joe and I had the pleasure of spending time with my college roommate and bridesmaid Pam, as well as with her husband Ron and her kids Andrew, Abigail, Amanda and Aaron (the A-team). I've mentioned in my iVillage Weddings blog that you need to spend time with the most positive, supportive people you know, in order to keep your balance during this busy time, and I couldn't have asked for a better time spent with Pam and her family! Now Pam has always been a very positive influence in my life -- during college, I'm sure my GPA went up because of her impressive academic skills, and she's been my #1 source of spiritual and religious discussions. I am so, so lucky to have her friendship, and it was amazing to see the multi-faceted personalities of her kids, the fine example of the parenting skills that Pam and Ron use. So I'll see you in a few months, Pam! Can't wait! Thanks for traveling all this way to be with us!

The $50 Fine

With just two months to go until our wedding, Joe and I have hit the wall when it comes to people giving us a hard time, questioning our decisions, and making jokes about doing something embarrassing during the reception. What's funny about that? Seriously. If you must joke about the wedding, don't tell us about it. And if you do, we've established a $50 fine for giving us any trouble with the wedding plans. Every bride and groom runs into the Trying To Be Funny friend who jokes about wedding nightmares in a 'wouldn't it be funny if...' mindset, and the one universal truth is that other people don't realize how much stress there is to planning a wedding. So jokes can fall flat a lot faster. We know that people aren't trying to hurt us, but there has to be a limit to the joking input, and to other people making plans for our wedding day. $50 fines should do the trick.

Catch me on YouTube!

My Better.tv segments are up on YouTube! So check me out at http://youtube.com/watch?v=mgiI-WiEdWs&feature=PlayList&p=7882DDDCF3C5D472&index=6 and look also for my Wedding Bargains segment there as well. (Host Audra Lowe is one of my new favorite people!) My co-author Casey Cooper has a segment on our book 'What's your Bridal Style?' as well! I'll be taping 4 more segments with Better.tv in the coming months, so I'll keep you posted on my future expert appearances! I've missed a few of my own appearances on GetMarried.com, so look for those archived on YouTube as well. Monday is my interview with Martha Stewart Sirius Satellite Radio, and then I get a breather....whew!

Happy Valentine's Day!

A very happy Valentine's Day to you all! Since this is the #1 day for popping the question, you might be newly-engaged right now, and just starting your exciting season of online research. I encourage you to visit my site www.sharonnaylor.net for my featured Don't List worksheets, so that you can clear away the things you know you *don't* want. It sounds simple, but it really gives you a good foothold to move ahead, communicate with each other, and co-create the wedding day of your dreams. If you're already in the process, it's not too late to do a Don't List! It could clarify a few things between you and your partner -- it's very important to honor each other's Don'ts! And to be able to express them to parents and bridal party members who are calling you with requests and suggestions.

And now, I'm taking the rest of the day off...enjoying a cup of hot tea and smelling the 2 dozen red roses that Joe got me for Valentine's Day, along with two pairs of great little beach shoes to wear on our honeymoon. He's the greatest!

Share Your Courtship Story

Here's a great way to share your one-of-a-kind love story with your guests at the wedding, at the rehearsal dinner, or at your bridal shower! Courtship-Stories turns your love story into a custom-created book and keepsake. Check it out at www.courtship-stories.com.

It's Wedding Central here today! I've just booked the reservations for our morning-after breakfast, the tuxes are in for Joe to try on [we'll go on Valentine's Day!], and right now I'm on the hunt for the car we want to rent for the weekend. The date is fast approaching [is it the middle of February already?!], so we have to blast through all of these tasks so that we're not crazed in the weeks approaching the wedding. We were supposed to have our Budget Summit tonight, but that's not gonna happen. I have a deep need to focus on all the fun, positive things that we can accomplish right now. Talking money will be a much better experience if the To-Do list is a little more in order. We're on it. Teamwork.

Countdown to Caneel Bay

In just a few short weeks, Joe and I will be in that hammock. And on that beach. We chose Caneel Bay on St. John as our honeymoon destination, and we really didn't even consider anyplace else! Visit http://www.caneelbay.com/ to see the beach that has been voted Best in the World. We'll be there, too. I have my new white bikini ready to go!

Do you need a galloon? How about a batwing?

No, these aren't exotic menu choices from an out-there caterer, and 'Survivorman' isn't your gown stylist...they're fashion terms. As you search for the perfect dress, make sure you're up on the industry lingo so that you can request the perfect details to your gown. Having an in-the-know vocabulary is part of our system for 'What's Your Bridal Style' (which I've co-authored with Casey Cooper), and it's essential for your wedding dress hunt. So here's a fabulous glossary for you to check out: http://www.wwd.com/dictionary/fashion
Bretelles, anyone?

The top color trends for 2008

Wedding couples look to the fashion runways as inspiration for their wedding colors, so we're seeing more Yellow as a top color choice for weddings this year. That's right, yellow. Bright yellow to a soft buttercup yellow, mixed with a palette of greens and whites, even oranges in the spring.

For later in the year, we're going to see bright jewel tones of ruby red, purple, vivid blues, and emerald.

And silver is hot! Metallics are big this year, with silver ranking at the top of the list! Be careful of your skin coloring, though, since silver doesn't work on everyone. Copper might be better for you.

It's going to be a beautiful, colorful wedding season! Check out my book WHAT'S YOUR BRIDAL STYLE? at www.sharonnaylor.net for detailed questionnnaires to help you determine the best color choices for each of your wedding elements.

We are a Giants and Dolphins household

I was raised with Big Blue, and Joe has been a Dolphins fan forever. So in this historic SuperBowl, I wore my red and Joe wore his Dolphins tee shirt. And together, we watched the most-watched SuperBowl ever, saw the heart-tugging emotions passing through Peyton in support of his little brother [don't we all *love* to see such supportive siblings who can cheer for each other' triumphs?], and saw THE catch of all time. David Tyree is now a household name...as it should be. And I don't think any commentators will be calling Eli 'Peyton' ever again. Among the many brilliant online productions, I leave you with this...it's perfect. http://www.rbk.com/us/perfectville/. That's a Cleo waiting to happen.

In a SuperBowl state of mind

SuperBowl fever is EVERYWHERE here in New Jersey as Big Blue takes on the Patriots. It's all football all the time, wherever you go. Which brings up a great posting: Check out Dan Marino's wines at www.charitywines.com to see his vintages benefitting the Dan Marino Foundation [Hey Dan, you're invited to the wedding!]. We'll have these at our rehearsal dinner...

Go Blue! Section 321 loves ya'!

A great gift for NJ-NY-CT weddings

If you or your parents have everything they could ever want, and gift-giving is a challenge, think about giving the gift of an EXPERIENCE, such as a theater production, concert, comedy special, ballet performance. I love this idea for parents' gifts -- it's a gift card that can be used in an array of cultural and arts meccas in the Garden State: http://www.jerseyarts.com/GiftCard.html. The recipient can go to any show he or she chooses, even shop in museum gift stores! This is brilliant!

If you're outside of this area, check with your state arts commission to see if they have a similar program, and check into gift cards for your nearby theaters and museums.

Better.tv

It was an early morning ride into New York City to tape my first segment for Better.tv, and we knocked it out of the park. One take was all it took to tackle ten major wedding bargains, and I *loved* the graphic they used on the screen behind us. They do a marvelous job at Meredith!

Coming home all fired up, I solved the Great Sash Dilemma [we didn't have enough for all of my bridesmaids and flowergirls, and the shop was out of them by now]. The sashes go to the flowergirls and the junior bridesmaid only. Done!

Joe has just sent out the measurement cards to his groomsmen, in what I think is the world's record of grooms getting right on the task. :) Hopefully, the try-on tuxes will be in tonight so that Joe and I can go choose THE style, and then I'll take him for a little treat on Main Street to thank him for that You'll Do Great hug he gave me this morning before the shoot. Sigh....

Stay tuned for the launch date of my Better.tv segment....all about finding the best bargains for your wedding without sacrificing style.

My Wedding Shoes!

Last night, Joe and I went shoe shopping to find THE shoes for our wedding day, and I found 'em! They're gorgeous, in the Trellis line of Nina Shoes -- check out http://www.ninashoes.com/AsSeenIn-1.html to see Nina bridal shoes featured in In Style Weddings, Elle, and more.

It had been *very* frustrating to find plain bridal shoes out there, but I guess that just means I wasn't supposed to wear *plain* bridal shoes on Our Day. These are quite spectacular, and Joe got them for me as a wedding gift. Sigh....isn't he wonderful?

We were supposed to go to the tux store for his try-ons last night, which kept me from attending a Ladies Who Launch event, but the tuxes hadn't come in yet. Which is just as well, because I'm not sure I could handle how hot he would look in a tux right now! Let me prep for a bridal show tonight and a taping of Better.tv tomorrow, and then I'll have the stamina to see my man in the tux!

Invitation addressing has begun...we're doing inner and outer envelopes by hand, so the boxes of Carlson Craft inserts are all lined up and ready to go! It's starting to become Wedding Central around here, and Joe has been fantastic about after-work mini ambushes on the bridal breakfast and such...this is such a short time of massive To-Do's, and as his mother has said often, "Joe and Sharon are a great team." Absolutely.

Want to be on TV?

Want to see YOUR wedding on TV? Now, you can apply to have your wedding featured on Get Married! Just go to www.getmarried.com and click for details!

Eat This, Not That

I LOVE this new, best-selling book that shows you the better food and drink choices at all the top fast-food places, by category in restaurants, even in the supermarket. As a super-rushed bride and groom, you're not going to feel like cooking all the time, so your wedding diet and fitness goals can stay on track with the help of this book. I give it 5-stars: http://www.amazon.com/exec/obidos/ASIN/1594868549/ref=nosim/theplanningsh-20

Support Team in Training

My brother is getting ready to run a marathon as part of the Leukemia & Lymphoma Team in Training program, raising funds to fight the battle against blood cancers. If you'd like to do a good deed for today, I hope you'll consider a little something to sponsor his run: http://www.active.com/donate/tntnonj/tntnonjSBlahit1

Not only does LLS raise funds for blood cancer research, they also do a lot to support the family caregivers during the challenges of chemo and treatment times, and I can tell you firsthand how valuable that is. It's a great organization.

If you're getting married soon, and you'd like to make charitable giving a part of your wedding day, visit www.idofoundation.org to set up your registry.

Planning a destination wedding?

If you're planning a destination wedding, you *have* to check out http://www.destinationbride.com/ for my colleague Lisa Light's terrific details on the ins and outs of the best destinations worldwide...and her book on Destination Weddings is amazing! Don't go anywhere without first getting to know Lisa's expertise!

In my own wedding world, it's less than 3 months until the wedding, and I just purchased the Love Stamps for our invitations. Joe and I thought about getting personalized stamps such as those at http://www.mountaincow.com/ (which are really terrific), but I just really needed to get this detail off of our swelling To-Do list. We'll do the personalized stamps for our Thank You notes. I've finally made our wedding day hair appointments, and this weekend is tux shopping. Get as much done as early as possible, because there *will* be extra issues that pop up (like guest questions and delays of various types), and you don't want to be swamped the last two months before your wedding.

Favors that give back

As you might know, I'm very involved with the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society due to my parents' 4-year battle against blood cancers. I've given donations, walked in Light the Night (http://www.lls.org/), and supported other friends and family in their walks and marathons. My wonderful friend Linda at http://www.invitations4sale.com/ donates a % of all invitation orders to the LLS....and now I have a new venture that will give 20% to fight blood cancers. I'll share a recent report from the fun wedding blog Bridella -- http://www.bridella.com/blog/2008/01/23/give-back-with-kate-aspen-favors/ -- so that you can read all about it.

Shop for your favors and gifts through the links there, or click on any Kate Aspen banner on my site http://www.sharonnaylor.net/. You're doing a great thing!

When your vendor disappears

A major photo and video company in my area was just on the news -- they've gone bankrupt and shut their doors. Now, thousands of wedding couples are terrified that their photos and video are lost forever, and thousands more are scrambling to book new vendors.

There's absolutely no way to know ahead of time if this can happen to you, so I strongly suggest that you look into a quality wedding insurance plan that can cover you if your vendor fails to show up or deliver. It won't save your day, and it can't guarantee that you'll get your photos from the big day. But did you know that some plans will cover the costs of booking a new photographer to capture re-staging of your top wedding moments (exchanging the rings, your kiss, portraits of your bridal party and family)? Again, you have to look into the fine print of what is and isn't covered in each plan. But it is something to think about...

Sharon's Top 5 List for additional special dances

You've got your First Dance as husband and wife, the father-daughter dance, and the mother-son dance. You can prevent the threat of Same-Old-Same-Old reception music from that point on -- the usual list of songs that everyone hears at every wedding -- by planning a few extra spotlight dances to add more meaning to your celebration.

1. Heritage dances -- Such as the tarantella or the hora.
2. Greatest Generation dance -- Ask your grandparents and great-uncles and great-aunts to take to the dance floor for 1940s music so that they can show off their Lindy.
3. Kids' dance -- The Hokey Pokey doesn't cut it with kids these days, so ask a 10 year-old for some song suggestions. Only kids on the dance floor for this one.
4. Parents' dance -- If your parents, like mine, do a mean cha cha, then consider giving them a spotlight dance during the dinner hour. Halfway through, the emcee can invite all the guests to join in.
5. Your Last Dance of the evening. As the last song of the night, the two of you can slow dance to your *other* favorite song, again inviting guests to join in halfway through. This is a great way to share the task of choosing 'your song.' This is something that Joe and I are going to do, since Etta James's 'At Last' was more my choice than his, although he readily agreed because he knows it means the world to me. So he gets to pick the last dance of the evening.

Julie Dubin's blog is up!

I'm so excited for my friend and colleague Julie Weingarden Dubin! She's just launched her new parenting blog at Woman's Day, and she'll have a new post each Tuesday: http://dailywd.womansday.com/blog/my_three_kids/index.html. So tell all of your friends with kids that they have a great, new blog to visit.

Julie and I go way back...there was a time when we were the youngest members of the American Society of Journalists and Authors, and I remember meeting her at a conference as the only 20-somethings in the room. Now, we find ourselves years later as the mentors to the new wave of 20-somethings in the organization, with lists of accomplishments that we couldn't even dream about back then. I know Julie shares my belief that we are so lucky to get to write for a living, challenges and all. Congratulations on your new blog, Julie! I'll see you soon.

Catch me on GetMarried.com!

It's Episode 26 if you don't catch it today...http://www.getmarried.com/on_tv.php

And thank you to all of my colleagues, friends and family who have written about my TV segments and reviews this week!

Catch me in The New York Times

Whew! What a weekend! A great review of my book "The Bride's Diplomacy Guide" appeared in the Style section of The New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/01/13/fashion/13books.html?_r=1&ref=fashion&oref=slogin, and I got to celebrate my niece's 13th birthday at a brunch in Hoboken. She lives in Tennessee, so I don't get to see her very much, but it was a thrill to have her dash across the restaurant to give me a big hug. No surly teenager stuff with her. She's a good soul, one of those gems in her generation who you know is going to do great things in this world.

Speaking of doing great things, Joe and I went out to celebrate my recent appearances on GMA and Get Married with an hibachi dinner in town, which I'm mentioning to remind you to plan date nights with your groom! With all the wedding talk swirling and your big day approaching, it's important to connect and just be a couple in love, step away from all that's going on in your world and go on A Date.

4 upcoming appearances on Get Married with David Tutera!

You can catch me on David Tutera's show "Get Married" on Lifetime Television not once, not twice, but FOUR times in the upcoming weeks. We had such a great time during the shoot that they decided to launch different portions of it as helpful segments for you. I absolutely *love* the team at Get Married, especially for brightening up this foggy day with such fun news!

My interview on Ceremony Décor will air:
Jan 14th
Feb 5th
My interview on Wedding Transportation will air:
Jan 16th
Feb 11th

You'll be able to catch them all on http://www.getmarried.com/, where my first interview for Get Married -- the Bulova wedding day countdown -- can be found in Episode 24 (David has a teal shirt on).

I have a giant smile on my face right now....

Good Morning America NOW

Here's my newest segment on Good Morning America Now: http://abcnews.go.com/Video/playerIndex?id=4100866&affil=wabc

To buy my books 1000 Best Wedding Bargains, 1001 Ways to Save Money and Still Have a Dazzling Wedding, The Bride's Diplomacy Guide and others, visit my site at http://www.sharonnaylor.net/.

For Bernie Robbins jewelry, go to http://www.bernierobbins.com/.

To buy the Kate Aspen favors shown on the show, plus others to suit your season and theme, visit http://www.sharonnaylor.kateaspenshops.com/

To find Papyrus cards and wedding products, visit http://www.papyrusonline.com/.

For David's Bridal gowns like the ones shown on the segment, visit http://www.davidsbridal.com/.

For Ann Taylor Celebrations dresses, go to http://www.anntaylor.com/.

And for Victoria's Secret gifts for bridesmaids, visit http://www.victoriassecret.com/ .

Writing the wedding ceremony

Joe and I wrote our wedding ceremony last night, everything from the traditional vows we'll take to 'mystery spots' we're leaving open so that we can write our own wording for the ring exchange. That, of course, led to much joking about how the first thing I checked out on him during our first date was his hands and some possibilities of what we could say while exchanging rings...If you're smiling and laughing while writing your wedding vows, that's the right frame of mind. We flipped through one of my books for readings and poems to add, deciding on the Apache Wedding Blessing along with "The Art of Marriage." Now, we just have to decide on a color of paper for our programs, get the size cards from the groomsmen, and start collecting relatives' addresses for invitation-writing that starts next month!

Today, I'm keeping an eye on the website for Good Morning America Now (http://www.goodmorningamerica.com/), awaiting the launch of my segment on finding great wedding bargains during the month of January. I'll be back soon with the link for you...

Good Morning America

I spent this morning in the green room at Good Morning America Now, the third hour shown on their site, and observation #1: they have a Wii system in the green room. And the coffee was fantastic. I met up with Stacey Seiden from Bernie Robbins jewelers (http://www.bernierobbins.com/), who was so generous with her time to bring a dozen gorgeous pieces of jewelry for the segment I was to shoot -- "January is the best time to shop for your wedding." [I'll post a link when it's ready to air.] $150 for a five-strand pink pearl bracelet for bridesmaids....or for the bride...or for moms. That's a HUGE bargain and one of the pieces I was delighted to show during the spot.

Tune in to the show to see the other amazing bargain luxuries I brought to the set. They'll have all of the buying info and links on their site.

Observation #2: the new modeling reality show with Niki Taylor and Tyson Beckford was shooting right outside the GMA window, so I got to see the parade of beautiful people...Stacey tells me that during my shoot, they all walked past the window in boxing robes, so if you're going to watch that show, there may just be a supermodel boxing match to look forward to ;)

The taping went beautifully, although I wasn't allowed to include the selection of Victoria's Secret honeymoon-wear, wedding night corsets and bridesmaid gift items that they gave me to showcase [we ran out of time], so I urge you to visit http://www.victoriassecret.com/ for their 50%-off sale going on right now. Pajamas for $29, amazing lingerie [you'll want all new stuff for your honeymoon!] and the cutest thing I picked up: cami-panty sets in an ice cream cone shape. It broke my heart that I couldn't show that on the air today! Check out the beauty and perfume sets for under $15 to really spoil your bridesmaids and not break the bank. I'm headed over to the site right now to pick up a few things, further supporting the concept that NOW is the best time to buy clothing, spawear, lingerie, undergarments for your wedding day, and comfy pajama sets for yourself and for your favorite people.

Sharon's Top 5 Pre-Wedding Beauty Preps

I'm back with my Top 5 lists for the New Year! And since it's only 4 months to go to my own wedding, I'm starting to think about beauty preps for the Big Day. I'm calling today to make the hair appointments for my girls on the wedding morning, so that leads to Tip #1:

Tip #1: Make an appointment for your trial hairstyle session. Go to your beauty salon now and ask who does up-do's. Most salons have 'specialists' who do wedding hairstyles, and they often have portfolios filled with photos of the styles they've done, and styles they can do. Even months ahead of the wedding, it's a fun day at the salon to have your hair trial-styled and perhaps even colored now while it's safe enough to try something new.

Tip #2: Get those teeth whitened. You don't have to spend a fortune at the dentist getting lasered. I'm a big fan of the Aquafresh White Trays (www.aquafresh.com). They're a bit pricy, but they WORK. After just 3 days, I saw a big difference. Love these things!

Tip #3: Work on your skincare...all over. Bring out those products you own and love but haven't had the time to turn into a ritual each night. I'm using the Cindy Crawford Meaningful Beauty line (www.meaningfulbeauty.com), and the masque is incredible. Also, get a good exfoliant scrub and use it on your upper arms if you get little bumps on those.

Tip #4: Hydrate. Your skin, hair and nails will thank you, and it keeps bloating down.

Tip #5: Get good tools. See if a flat iron works wonders on your hair. At the salon, ask for tips on how to use it. Don't be afraid to ask your stylist basic questions about tools and brushes. They love it when you ask for their expertise. I have a gas-powered curling iron for ringlets and a *thin* ceramic flat iron, which I bought to replace the thicker one that wasn't doing it for my hair. Just a simple little switch, and I've found what works best for me.

And as an extra tip, get your brows professionally-shaped. A waxer can give your arches the perfect peak, and the result can make your eyes look bigger and brighter. Now's the time to upgrade your beauty preps...enjoy!

A Christmas to remember

With *so* much involved in our first Christmas in our new home, what will be the memory that stands out the most?

Could it be our Christmas tree FALLING right after we got it decorated? Um, no...

How about the mad rush to clean the place up after finishing the office just days ago? No, that's not it.

Discovering that a few of our platters broke during the move? Nope.

Having our families at our first Christmas dinner, enjoying a fabulous meal, laughing and getting to know each other better? Filling our home with the presence of family? Yeah, that's the one.

For any big event -- like the momentous, one-time-only FIRST of a Christmas in a new home -- you may have a lot of expectations, wishes, hopes and dreams. And if you're lucky, many of them will come true. One of the most important parts of Christmas for me this year was to give my parents a really nice holiday. So Joe and I went to their place for Christmas morning...in our pajamas. And we had our family's traditional eggnog toast and present session. Which was priceless to me. So all the hard work was worth it. You only get one of these. And if the most important part goes well...then it's a dream come true.

Chris Botti and Vinx...the concert of the season

Chris Botti took a moment after his concert at the Blue Note to pose for a photo with me. If I look a little stunned, it's because Chris decided to give my shoulder a little rubdown. I said to Joe, who took me to this concert as my Christmas gift, "maybe that's just what his hand does...he just does the trumpeting motion." Joe came back with, "That's not his playing hand!" My wonderful man didn't have to ask Chris Botti to step outside. He's not the jealous type....amen. But the conert was phenomenal! We were one table away from stage right, and when he played "When I Fall in Love," I had tears in my eyes.

Right after the Botti concert, Vinx took the stage (www.vinx.com) for another awesome concert. This guy can play, and he's hysterically funny. Congrats to you, Vinx, on your fresh start. Music fans, get your copies of these two artists' CDs...and see them both in concert. It's soul-satisfying.

Thank you, my Joe, for a beautiful night...your shoulder rubs are *way* better. ;)

Rave reviews in Tango Magazine!

Read what Tango Magazine has to say about "The Bride's Diplomacy Guide": http://www.tangomag.com/20072843/banishing-bridezilla.html

And pick up a copy of US Weekly magazine -- the one with Heidi Montag on the cover -- this week to see my advice at the end of the cover article. The Essential Guide to Wedding Etiquette is available at www.sharonnaylor.net.

Happy holidays to you all, and welcome to wedding world all newly-engaged couples! This is peak time for popping the question, so I'm here to help if you have any questions about wedding budgets, etiquette, organization, vows, toasts, pre-wedding parties, and more. And listen to my podcast "Here Come the Moms" at www.thewpn.com to start on the right foot with the moms....you're not just building a wedding, you're building a life together, so plan for all of those important issues and compromises to come!

Catch me on "Get Married" with David Tutera

My Bulova wedding day timetable ran again this morning, on Lifetime's "Get Married" -- http://www.getmarried.com/on_tv.php. If you don't catch it today, you can see it anytime by hitting the link to the right [David has a teal shirt on, and it's episode 24].

Dismissing the myth that everything slows down the week before the holidays, my phone's been ringing off the hook with some amazing opportunities! [My publicist Julie Berry is phenomenal, keeping me on track during this chaotic time of the move and the holidays.] Here's what's coming up in January: a taping for Good Morning America, two tapings for Better Homes and Gardens, and...how fun is this?....I'll be attending the movie premiere for "27 Dresses" in New York City [www.27dressesthemovie.com]. Joe and I are bringing a few friends along, so that should be a great reward for all of this pre-holiday action.

Coming soon....the next installments of Sharon's Top 5....

First one into The Office -- Michael Jordan!

The Big Day has arrived! Not the wedding day...that's The Big Day for '08. Our Big Day was the official, everything's-done move-in day for our home office! Joe and I partnered on a huge, overwhelming task of taking a 1950's den [which Joe's brother Adam had described as a VFW hall] and turning it into a spotless, modern Caribbean-blue home office with white shelves and the most amazing white moulding you'll ever see in your life. I've been to designer showcase homes that weren't this ideally detailed. I'm over the moon!

Getting back to Michael Jordan, yes, he was the first to enter the room. Joe's framed photo of him was the first item placed on our shelves, quickly followed by my Oprah mug [a gift from O from when I taped the show in Chicago], and my Wonder Woman statuette where she's fighting a three-headed dragon [I *love* that statuette...every writer should have one!] and my entire library of books. This was the first time I have ever seen *all* of my books lined up in my own home. My Dad has a shrine in his office, but never have I had my work displayed like *this* where I live. So it's an amazing time right now, as we're pulling things out of boxes that we forgot we owned [it's been 6 months].

I think the stress of such a huge project, mixed with the stress of planning a wedding, mixed with the stress of the holidays and more new home business would break most couples. But this is how you test and refine your partnership. We made it through, and now we're experiencing our first days in the new house *without* the crushing burden of drywall issues and painting issues and spending every waking moment at Home Depot. [Love ya', Home Depot, but don't want to be there *all* the time!].

I woke up at 4am just to go downstairs and look at the room, put a few more books on the shelf, and thank my lucky stars that this man, and this life, are mine.

Sharon's "Now's The Time" Report -- Wedding Rings

In my wedding budgeting books 1000 Best Wedding Bargains and 1001 Ways to Save Money and Still Have a Dazzling Wedding, I talk about Great Timing as the best way to save thousands on your wedding elements. At certain times of year, gowns are priced 30% to 50% lower, for instance.

Right now is the time for shopping for your wedding bands. With the holiday season upon us, all of those jewelry stores are enticing shoppers with huge discounts, so Now's the Time to get your savings of hundreds if not thousands of dollars on your wedding rings and additional wedding day jewelry, gifts for the mothers and bridesmaids, and even those cufflinks for your men. 40% to 70% off adds up to a LOT.

Check out the newly expanded collection at my favorite jeweler, Hearts on Fire (www.heartsonfire.com). I just discovered the Simply Bridal Pave band that could be my choice when we visit the jewelry store sometime this month, armed with the discount postcard the store sent us last week. Just breathtaking on both accounts!

Swing dancing in the aisles...to Electric Slide LESSONS?

This was a weekend of Dance Extremes. We saw the best and the worst of dance floor antics, all in the middle of an awesome extended weekend. Let me explain...

On Thursday, Joe and I went to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy in concert, and it was incredible. What struck me most was how obviously the lead singer *loved* performing. Even 20 rows away, I could see that big smile...the guy loves his job. They even performed 'Heat Miser' from the Christmas special, which I *loved.* And people were swing-dancing in the aisle. Music has the power to raise energy, and you could feel it in that room.

And music also has the power to raise your eyebrows in the universal 'Huh?' At Joe's company's holiday party in New York City this weekend, the deejay thought this was 1982. "Now we're all going to learn how to do the Electric Slide!" And the guy gave a lesson. Left, two three...right, two three...and back two three. Huh? He handed out maracas, lightup roses, Santa hats and glow necklaces. Niiiiiice. He cleared the room and the fantastic socializing took place outside the ballroom. Joe works with great, fun people, so it was really nice to see them all again. I think the last time I saw them was at the company softball games.

The best part of my weekend? Hearing Joe singing along to a CD as he worked on the office details. The room looks amazing thanks to his fantastic detailing -- I'm the primer guru and shelf-painter, so my artistry isn't quite as evident. We had a minor medical emergency with a cut on Joe's finger, and I was basically a spaz rifling through the first aid kit. Not my finest moment, but I'm just glad that he still has his fingertip, the cut didn't hit bone, and the law of averages delivered a minor accident rather than a big one. It's a very helpless feeling when someone you love has an injury...which I'm sure Joe could relate to when I got atomic buffalo wing sauce in my eye shortly afterward. My adorable man handed me protective eye goggles for the rest of my lunch [he's awesome.]

So we had a dance of our own...the dance of completing this office, which is just days away. Sure, it's frustrating to have tasks take longer than expected, but that's what happens when you're All Quality. Which is important....

Brides and Grooms LOVE to entertain at home

So much so, in fact, that wedding registries are filled more with entertaining items like appetizer plates, martini sets, fondue plates, fun drink stirrers, and my own personal favorite: adorable placecard holders to match napkin rings. Designing your tabletop turns you into the David Tutera, Colin Cowie, Preston Bailey and Sasha Souza of your own home, so think about your upcoming holiday plans and how you can accessorize your table now....and hold on to these items to use at your every party in the future.

I just shopped for my Christmas placecard holders at Kate Aspen[http://sharonnaylor.0.kateaspenshops.com/product/snowflake-place-card-holderornament.html], and I got the whole set of twelve place card holders for $21! We have our choice now....keep 'em or have our family take them home.

Setting the table is an act of love, since you're gathering the most important treasures of your life...family and friends. So it's no wonder that the biggest trend in registries is entertaining items! They're a guilt-free, sentimental shopping spree! So check out my choice, and cruise through the Kate Aspen site to purchase your own tabletop accents, favors and holiday gifts. A % of your purchase goes to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society, as well.

Barbara Kingsolver would be proud...

Barbara Kingsolver is, of course, the bestselling author of "Animal, Vegetable, Miracle," a book on eating locally-grown foods, as well as some of my favorite novels including "The Bean Trees." My friend Jen introduced me to Kingsolver's work, and she's become one of my icons. Nature is a primary focus of Kingsolver's beautiful novels, so I recommend them highly for all of your green lifestyle and eco-loving friends. Where I fit into this post is my latest appearance in the media, in a feature for Garden Plate magazine [http://www.gardenplate.com/article/feature?articleId=531] where I encourage party hosts to ask their caterers about locally-grown foods and local wineries. Every choice makes a difference.

Win some shoes!

A girl's gotta have great shoes, so sign on for Steve Madden's daily shoe giveaway, from now until December 18th: http://www.stevemadden.com/. I'm a big proponent of contests and sweeps, and I've won some pretty fantastic things. So I'm going to start sharing my favorite sweeps sites with you in future posts. Don't miss out on your chance to win cash for the wedding, vacations, home furnishings and decor, and of course, shoes! Come back often for Sharon's Sweeps!

Catch me on David Tutera's show Get Married on Thursday!

A few weeks ago, I ventured into New York City for a taping of Get Married (www.getmarried.com), and the show is set to air this Thursday at 7:30am on the Lifetime Network, and again on December 20th. My segment, which focuses on the best timetable for the 24 hours before your wedding, is sponsored by Bulova, which just goes to show that timing is everything!

And speaking of timing, I have a 300-page edit due this month, right in the middle of holiday preps and working on the office. So I spent the morning picking out drill bits and awesome little painting sponges for moulding, which brings up *another* tidbit of wisdom for today...having the best tools is everything, too. I zipped through the moulding first coat in an hour with my fabulous little find (best $2.49 ever!) and now I can get back into editing my new book Love Bets before my afternoon chat with www.IDoFoundation.org's Amy Cress. Who says things slow down during the holidays?

Just a reminder, too, that I'm answering etiquette questions at www.ivillage.com's Weddings section, so come visit me there! And go get your future mother-in-law something nice for the holidays. Now is when you set the foundation for your relationship, and you'll want it to be as loving, friendly and respectful as possible. My podcast is up at www.thewpn.com's "Here Come the Moms," and the current show shares the story of a mom and bride who have created a *wonderful* relationship during the planning process.

The Bride's Diplomacy Guide is here!

My new book just arrived! I just popped open the box and pulled out the first copy, hot off the presses. I'm so proud of this book, since it's about relationships, keeping the peace with all of the people around you as you're planning your wedding. I pull no punches, either. If someone's acting up, I'll tell you how to boot her from the bridal party. But first, you'll get a collection of great, diplomatic scripts on what to say when dealing with her, with hopes that it won't get to that point. Here, you'll find solutions to 150 of the most common diplomacy problems from step-parent issues to jealous siblings, pushy guests who want to bring their kids, vendors with an attitude, and more.

No one plans a wedding alone. I wrote this book to help you deal better with the issues that other people bring to the table.

Pre-order your copy at http://www.amazon.com/Brides-Diplomacy-Guide-Questions-BridetoBe/dp/1598693220/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1196451088&sr=8-1, and if you have friends and relatives who are newly-engaged [or will soon be engaged], be sure to tell them their People Problems can be solved with this book!

First holiday in our home

It's our first holiday in our new home, and with what little energy we have while finishing up the office, we're starting to set those wonderful traditions for the life we're building together. We just ordered matching Christmas stockings from Pottery Barn (www.potterybarn.com) using Joe's Aunt Chris's bridal shower gift card. We just bought a few new ornaments for our tree. We're watching the holiday specials together. Our Christmas lights have arrived. Next weekend, we attend my family Christmas party, and we attend Joe's office holiday party. And we're going to see Big Bad Voodoo Daddy's holiday concert. We're so lucky that we get to spend the holidays with both sides of our family, especially since my parents are feeling pretty well these days. We have a lovely holiday season ahead of us....a mix of old and new holiday traditions to blend our lives perfectly.

The top First Dance Songs

Finally! A collection of beautiful First Dance songs that's not endless or outdated!

Check out the classic and most requested First Dance Songs at http://www.chuckrusso.com/mostrequestedfirstdances.html

The list works double-duty as a great collection of music for your dinner hour and dessert hour. Slow-dancing is so romantic for your wedding guests!

So close we can taste it!

The office looks AMAZING! Joe pulled the edging tape off the windows and bookshelf last night, and the transformation is just incredible. We're so close to it being done that I'm putting the champagne in the refrigerator for the upcoming celebration. What a beast that room was! I look back on our Before pictures with thick tar glue on the walls from the paneling, that awful shag carpeting, a dark pall over the room...and now we have a beautiful, vibrant blue room with white contrast that has such great energy to it. We're both going to create such terrific things in our office.

The best part is that since it was such a huge challenge, a Goliath to take down, every other task our house needs is going to seem so small in comparison. Paint the bathroom? That'll take a day or two. Yes, we're exhausted. It's been a long haul, and the chaos of our boxed books and computer equipment has been a big drain. But we're almost there. Very soon, we'll be 'moving in' to the best room of the house.

Also so close we can taste it is our wedding day! We're under 5 months now, and yesterday we picked out all but one of the songs for our ceremony. We just need our recessional song, which may be an instrumental of the song from 'The Princess Bride' (you know the tune)....we're not sure yet. But Pachelbel's Canon in D and Air from Water Music are definitely on the list. It took all of 3 minutes to play some snippets on amazon.com, and we have most of our songs set. Not a bad way to end a busy weekend.

And lastly, a big welcome to all the newly-engaged couples whose Thanksgiving celebrations included Popping the Question! If you're just starting your planning now, look through my posts here for my Top 5 lists, and feel free to e-mail me with any questions you have. For etiquette issues, come to my message board at iVillage Weddings (Ask the Wedding Etiquette Expert), and for my books and line of shower and wedding favors, visit me at www.sharonnaylor.net.

Kate Spade for your wedding day clutch

How beautiful is this? And check out the sale price: http://www.katespade.com/product/index.jsp?productId=2483910&cp=1863844.2180761&view=all&parentPage=family

Looks like we know what I'll be carrying on my wedding day!

How to say Thank You

Writing thank you notes can be a daunting experience. How do you word a thank you for an extra-generous gift, without saying only "Thank you for the generous gift"? How do you word a thank you note for a gift that you plan to return? What happens if a guest attended the wedding and didn't bring a gift? How do you sound like YOU? What's the one thing you should never write? I tackle all of these issues and more in my new book:

A thoroughly modern manual for expressing gratitude-quickly, painlessly, and personally!Thank-you notes are essential-but they don't have to be torturous to write and stilting to read.

With this concise guide, modern couples can make the task easy while adding essential personal touches to each note they send. Filled with information on everything about writing the perfect thank-you, including:

- Modern technology like email, DVDs, and videostreaming-to use or not to use?

- The top 15 thank-you mistakes-and how to avoid them

- A thank-you thesaurus

- How to word thank-you's for non-traditional gifts, including charitable donations and honeymoon registries

- Thanking the bridal party and other special people

- Creating unique cards with stamp art, photos, and more

- Thank-you checklists, shopping lists, and a writing timetable

I wrote this book to put the fun into writing thank-you's, so that brides and grooms can tackle the task with confidence.

Get your copy at http://www.sharonaylor.net/, or at Amazon or Barnes & Noble

Holiday shopping from a favors website?

Absolutely! These collections of beautiful favors are ideal for holiday table place settings and take-home favors, hostess gifts that are *way* better than bottles of wine, and gifts for the neighbors, teachers, babysitters and others on your list...plus your future in-laws!

Shop from my collection at Kate Aspen favors, and 20% of my profits will be donated to the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society: http://sharonnaylor.0.kateaspenshops.com/

If you have recently-engaged friends or relatives, you can now request signed copies of my books at http://www.sharonnaylor.net/. Just put 'signed copy' in the subject line of your e-mail to me. 20% of special book sales go to the LLS as well.

Happy shopping!

Fall meets winter

We woke up this morning to a beautiful snowfall...with brightly-colored autumn leaves on the trees. Winter's in a rush to get here, isn't it? So as I'm priming the shelves of our office bookcases, I'm looking out the window to a gorgeous show outside. Big fluffy snowflakes drifting past orange trees...far better than usual gray of a snowfall that turns everything into a black-and-white movie. Today's a busy day as I bounce back and forth between joyous priming and optimistic pitching of my new book series. Even my errands will be dual-natured as I run to the post office with press kits and then to the lumber yard for moulding. It's such a thrill to have the office crest the top peak of a rollercoaster ride and now start zipping into a speedy ride after that long, slogging climb. The pieces are coming together, with Joe and my Dad teaming up on expert carpentry work, while I slip into the narrow storage closet to paint the interior, ready the shelves, and do a little happy dance in my paint-spotted socks because I can *see* this room the way it's going to be. I mentioned to Joe that it looks like the tea room at a five-star Caribbean resort, with bright blue walls set off by pristine white moulding and shelves. When that protective paper comes up off the hardwood floor, I may have to sit down and catch my breath a little....

We're moving into the next 'season' of our office renovation...

Slowed, but not stopped

A sinus infection can really knock you off your feet. Especially when the holiday season is here and there's so much to do. So I'm taking a sick day today to nurse myself back to full strength, delving into "Love In The Time of Cholera" in the steam of a bubble bath, sipping on pomegranate tea, and recharging the batteries for our upcoming busy weekend. Joe just called to see if I would like dinner from one of my favorite places tonight, and even in the fog of antibiotics with no appetite at all, I'm looking forward to that sandwich.....and to working on the office with Joe. We have a narrow closet that I'm going to have to climb into to prime and paint it...so that should be quite a snapshot!

The last days of the Dream House

If you're anywhere near the tri-state area, don't miss your chance to visit the Conde Nast Dream House: http://www.brides.com/promotions/dreamhouse/calendar. Two words: swag bag. And the place is phenomenal...

Joe and I had a blast at Bed Bath & Beyond last night, armed with a great coupon and our shower gift cards. We completed our china set and picked up a bunch of other house essentials -- and we stopped in at the holiday decor aisle for kicks -- for a once-only soon-to-be-wed shopping spree. Our awesome friends and family gave us the gift of an unforgettable evening in the store...which is half the fun of registries.

And big news just in today...my gown has arrived at the bridal boutique! First fitting is in January. What a great phone call to get today! Almost as good as chatting for an hour last night with my niece Madison. She's created the menu for our morning-after-the-wedding breakfast, and she asked 'So what are we doing for your bachelorette's party?' She's almost 13, so that wasn't a question I was expecting. What are we going to do for the bachelorette's party? I'm thinking jazz club...which is where Joe and I had our very first date....makes me sigh just remembering that night...yeah, I think that's where we'll go. No Bahama Mama's in Hoboken for me. I'm about 10 years too old for that [Joe, stop laughing!].

Joe in print!

Last night, Joe showed me his first byline in a law journal, and this morning I went out and bought some steaks and other goodies for a celebratory meal. I'm so proud of that accomplishment, it's unreal. Add that to his hard work on the house, particularly our office-in-the-works, and it's time for a special dinner of appreciation. What a catch he is!

I'm so not motivated to work today, but hopefully I'll get a second wind as I dip into a fun, new article. I had a little trouble this morning with a name-dropper, and it really has me aggravated. Yes, I write the Peaceful Bride column on iVillage, so I know the tricks to bounce back into harmony. But when someone bites the hand...that can be deflating for a little while. So I'll follow my own advice and gratitude journal a bit, talk to some better people, hop on the exercise bike for a while, then delve into a fun and rewarding project. Too much great stuff going on to lose much time over someone's bad choice....it won't happen again. That's the silver lining. ;)

My new podcast is up!

On my podcast 'Here Come the Moms' at Wedding Podcast Network, my co-host Holli Ehrlich and I spoke with a bride and her mother-in-law about their harmonious wedding-planning partnership -- and I think *every* bride-to-be (and mom-in-law-to-be) would love to have the kind of respectful friendship that these two women have! So come listen in as they talk about how they worked together, learn their insights, and find out how to make this ideal arrangement work in your life, too -- http://weddingpodcastnetwork.libsyn.com/index.php?post_category=Here%20Come%20the%20Moms.

Joe tells his friends...

In all the chaos of the new house and the wedding, we've both just gotten around to contacting some of our long-distance friends about our upcoming wedding! Joe's law school buddies sent their congratulations, and that's so much fun to have these e-mails launch some great stories about their times together in school. When you hear from an old friend, those memories come alive again. Joe just beams when he talks about his great friends, and it's easy to figure out why he's so beloved by his circle. This guy lights up a room. At the shower, I found myself scanning the room for him -- as I was running glasses of wine out to the back deck for our guests, or pouring glasses of milk for the kids (to offset the sugar rush of the gigantic cookies we got them!) -- and when my eyes found him, he stood out in an almost brighter color, as if everyone else in the room was in black-and-white.

In the days after the party, and all the eyebrow-raising revelations of who said what and who did what, there's a palpable sense of contentment that I will never have to worry about Joe wanting to knock me down a peg. Ovid wrote: "If thou wouldst marry wisely, marry thy equal." It's all about values and similar beliefs about what makes up kindness. Does this person have my back? With 100% certainty, I can say Yes.

Check this site out!

This one just came to me through my affiliation with Ladies Who Launch, and what a find it is! Filled with great ideas for green living and healthy lifestyle, Vital Juice Daily is going to keep you nice and balanced throughout the wedding planning months and afterward! Sign on for their newsletter, and check out their Dictionary -- my favorite entry: 'fauxbia.'

http://www.vitaljuicedaily.com/category/tips/tipjar/

Sharon's Top 5 Quotable Authors

When you're getting ready to write your vows and your toasts, you may want some great quotes to express how you feel, using the words of iconic authors and philosophers. In my books Your Special Wedding Vows and Your Special Wedding Toasts, I've provided hundreds of my favorite romantic quotes that really capture the essence of what love is all about. And I recommend these quotes as great 'starters' for inspiration as you write your own words for the wedding.

My top 5 quotable authors are:

1. Dr. Maya Angelou: "Only equals can be friends" and too many other gems to mention.

2. Anne Morrow Lindbergh: Make it a point to read her book 'Gift From the Sea'

3. Elizabeth Barrett Browning

4. Marianne Williamson

5. William Shakespeare

I also love Rumi, Lao Tzu, Thoreau, Emerson...and here's a great way to bring your family history into your wedding: quote a relative. Maybe your grandmother had sage advice about marriage from her 52 years with her husband. Maybe a parent always says, 'To thine own self be true.' The iconic quotes don't have to be from a PhD. or The Bard.

Here's where you can find my books: http://www.sharonnaylor.net/wedvow.htm, and also see the Love Quote of the day, which is new every day. Today's quote is "Love is a great beautifier," by Louisa May Alcott...so visit often for even more terrific love quotes.

Best party EVER!

Joe and I really know how to throw a party. It helps to have some know-how from being in the celebrations industry myself, but the soiree was even more fantastic because Joe was so involved with all the decisions, choosing the menu, keeping things running smoothly, circulating between the natural groups of guests, and he made an amazing Planter's Punch that everyone loved. It was one of those very important personal touches to the day.

Now just in case you think nothing goes wrong at a wedding expert's pre-wedding party, here's a little inside scoop. The caterer wasn't open yesterday, so we picked up the trays on Saturday with detailed instructions for re-heating. First batch went into the oven, and as I wrapped the mini hot dogs in dough, I looked up and there was about a foot of smoke covering the kitchen ceiling. Drips on the bottom of the oven were burning off. An hour before guests would arrive, and we had about 15 more trays that had to go into the oven. So all windows were open, all doors, and we just kept going with the heating up! I can look back and laugh about it now, but it was quite the shocker. A short while later, with the drips burned off, we were back in business and the entire catering menu was a hit....as were the dishes that some of our close friends and family so generously brought to add extra special meaning to our day.

It meant the world to us that we had our friends and family gathered together, and especially to see my parents feeling well and laughing with their loved ones. We haven't had a big celebration in my parent's place since before the cancer years, so this was a monumentally important day for all of us. What matters most is always the people you have around you. We're blessed beyond belief.

What's your dream honeymoon destination?

I just received this from Honeymooner's Review Guide (http://www.honeymoonersreviewguide.com/) and thought I'd share their survey results with you...the site has user reviews of honeymoon locales and resorts, so it would be a good addition to your research as you consider where YOU want to go for the vacation of a lifetime....

Honeymooner's Review Guide just completed a poll for couples in the process of planning their honeymoons and expressing where they would "like" to go for their honeymoon. The Fiji islands were the top choice for the dream honeymoon destination with 19% of the votes. It squeezed out the Hawaiian Islands with 18% and French Polynesia with 15%.

Michelle McKenzie, Vice-President of Honeymooner's Review Guide, noted that, "This poll does not necessarily indicate where they ended up going for their honeymoon, but where they would prefer to go. Often budgetary issues limit the final destination of honeymoon couples. Actually, the Hawaiian Islands are the number one final destination of those who complete our post-honeymoon survey."

The results of their latest poll are revealed here from highest to lowest as follows:
Top Honeymoon "Dream" Destinations
Fiji....................................................................... 19%Hawaii...................................................................18%
French Polynesia...................................................15%Europe..................................................................15%Thailand................................................................11%
Jamaica................................................................ 9%
Bali........................................................................8%Anguilla..................................................................5%

So why are these honeymoon destinations so alluring? Fiji has 330 islands, some with private resorts and others totally deserted. When imagining a place with white sandy beaches, palm trees, beautiful coral reefs and seclusion, Fiji fits the profile perfectly. Along with this ambiance comes some of the best island hospitality. The Fijian people are always friendly, saying "Bula" (hello) at every turn, going out of their way to make you feel welcome and comfortable.

A honeymoon in Hawaii offers dramatic coastlines; volcanoes; lush, green forests; native Hawaiian culture; tropical breezes; white sand beaches; picture perfect sunsets and spectacular resorts. This is the magic that keeps bringing honeymooners to the Hawaiian Islands. Not only are the Hawaiian Islands a tropical paradise, but each is unique in its own beauty. Hawaii honeymoon destinations offer everything couples could want for the perfect tropical honeymoon.

French Polynesia is engraved in our minds with the exotic over-the-water bungalows that are a dream to most couples. Tahiti is the main island in French Polynesia, but the most popular islands to visit include Bora Bora and Moorea. For the best in luxury and exotic accommodations, French Polynesia is a top pick.

Top Honeymoon Resorts for these and other destinations are available on the website.