A great question on my Wedding Mapper Q&A board

Ooo, this is a good one from my Wedding Mapper Q&A board! The groom wants a Hawaiian pig roast for the reception, and the bride's family is objecting. The bride, too, wants a different style of wedding. Check out my suggestions to solve the issue!

Question:
My Fiance and I are getting married in June 2011. He wants to do a causual dress pig roast, hawaiian themed reception becasue we are going to hawaii for out honeymoon. My family if fighting me on it saying that some people are not going to like that option. Im also having a difficlut time to find a reasonable priced caterer for that type event. As for me I would rather have a not to formal reception filled with flowers that give it the hawaiian atmosphere. My question is how do I tell my fiance that we can't have the pig roast with out hurting his feelings? He is already crushed that we had to move the location.

Answer:

Great question, and you're going to help a LOT of people with this one :]

In one of my books, I wrote about a groom who wanted a New England clambake for the wedding reception, but all of that seafood was going to be too expensive for their big wedding guest list. I suggested that they do the clambake thing as the REHEARSAL DINNER theme, and that made their day. The budget was fine, the guests loved it as something really unique and fun for the rehearsal dinner, and the hosts got raves. So why don't you propose to your groom that you do the Hawaiian pig roast for the rehearsal dinner, and then you can have the reception with the Hawaiian flowers? That really would suit everyone's wishes.

As far as the caterer for the pig roast, there are caterers out there who specialize in barbecues, and this would fit right into that category. So if you can't easily locate a caterer who does that sort of thing, I highly recommend that you get a wedding coordinator *just* for the task of finding a great caterer or personal chef they know who does parties like that. Today's wedding coordinators are available for these single-task jobs, and it's not that expensive...plus many of them will get you a discount from their partners in the wedding industry.

See if your groom likes this idea -- I hope he does -- because it sounds like it would be a real treat to your guests and would make him super-happy. And don't forget that you can also do this theme for a combined co-ed shower if the rehearsal dinner hosts already have their theme and menu planned. If the groom's parents are the hosts of the rehearsal dinner, it could make them very happy to give their son the exact kind of party he wants!!

Personalize your wedding with Caribbean 'Shells of the Month'

While my husband and I were on our second honeymoon on St. John, we visited a lovely jewelry shop in Mongoose Junction and discovered this fun chart about the 'Shells of the Month,' which works a lot like birthstones and the flowers of the month. The jeweler casts actual shells using precious metals in his work, but you can incorporate the real deal in your decor. Check it out to see if your island destination wedding or honeymoon could use a fun shell theme with meaning:

Attributes of Shells, from http://www.pattongold.com/shell_attributes.htm

In the 1970s R&I PATTON collected local* shells and made molds of them in order to cast them in solid 18k, 14k and sterling. They are beautiful, lasting tokens of remembrance for an amazing island and a significant event.

Seashells and what they have come to represent:

January:
Starfish: orderliness, charisma, honesty, persistence, regeneration, originality

February:
Limpet: intensity, stability, determination, durability, steadfastness

March:
Scallop:truth, faithfulness, trustworthiness, precision, balance, dependability

April:
Tulip:sweetness, compassion, loveliness, kindness, tranquility, love

May:
Murex: poise, beauty, intricacy, intelligence - very feminine shell

June:
Sanddollar:loyalty, encouragement, reliability, certainty, predictability

July:
Coral:warmth, charm, openness, complexity, enthusiasm, zeal

August:
Urchin: boldness, confidence, creativity, decisiveness, certainty, bravery

September:
Cowry: prosperity, worth, generosity, directness, ambition, versatility

October:
Flamingo Tongue: strength, simplicity, potency, courage - a very masculine shell

November:
Triton: expansiveness, loquaciousness, wildness, energy, passion

December:
Conch: power, leadership, devotion, optimism, cooperation, harmony

* Since it is now illegal to remove any shells from the beaches and waters of the U.S. Virgin Islands, these precious metal replicas are great and lasting mementos.

These shells make wonderful wedding party gifts. Our staff would be happy to help you decide about which shells would be appropriate for individuals in your group.



For more on personalizing your wedding, visit my site!