Not born yesterday

Sometimes I just have to laugh...

On one of my wedding Q&A columns, someone posted a question about cash registries and mentioned the site they had in mind, asking me what I thought about the etiquette of cash registries. I wrote back that it's still not proper to ask guests for cash gifts, even in the guise of an organized registry. My fellow community members voiced similar opinions. What resulted was a *blast* of name-calling messages sent from the original poster, and this person has been barred from the website.

Here's the thing...if you work for a bridal website of any kind, and if you've read the same marketing books that I've read, we both know that it's a common PR move to post URLs on social websites asking 'what do you think?' to spread the word about the company you want to promote. This particular poster only created a very Google-able discussion about how BAD cash gift registries are, including home mortgage registries. I've gone on record saying you *can* set one up if you wish, provided it's with a reputable bank or company, but you need to know that these new cash registries often *charge* you to create a cash gift program, and guests might get very offended at your display of greed. If you still want a cash or mortgage registry, I've advised, set up a traditional home registry as well so that guests have a choice.

Even if some wedding experts out there are saying, 'it's okay to ask for cash,' it's really not okay in the eyes of most wedding guests...and those are the people who will be gifting you. What I've found is that offended guests wind up giving you LESS. The choice is yours.

So, poster with the potty-mouth, thanks for giving us the opportunity to shoot down your site and openly discuss the Do's and Don'ts of gift registries. You've helped a lot of people.