Do you have Thank-You notes to write?

Summer weddings in full swing mean there are a lot of you out there wanting to know how to write the perfect, personable and personalized thank-you notes for bridal shower and wedding gifts. The tricky part? Not keeping the groom motivated to sit down and write them, but rather finding the perfect, diplomatic wording for notes you'll send to those guests who did a little something unusual with their gift choices. My book The Bride and Groom Thank-You Guide gives you multiple options for writing thank-you's for the following tricky situations:

* Obvious re-gifts
* Gifts that are not from your registries
* DIY gifts that *are* your style
* DIY gifts that are not your style
* Gift cards
* Wedding gifts sent way before the wedding
* Guests attending the wedding without giving a gift (yet!)
* You've lost a few cards and got disorganized, not knowing who gave you the gravy boat and who gave you the $150!
* Charitable donation gifts you were alerted to through your registry
* Honeymoon registry gifts
* The 'future promise' gift: as in, "We'll take you out for a 5-star dinner when you get back from your honeymoon."
* The gift of legwork and labor as their wedding gift to you

Write those notes well, because people really get offended by the simplest wording!

Catch me on NBC's show "I Do!"

A little advance notice here...the August 2nd episode of "I Do!" on NBC features me and The Knot's Anja Winnika talking about wedding etiquette...all the while sitting in front of the most amazing cupcakes I've ever seen. Yes, close to 4pm as I'm writing this, and I'm having a sugar crash, so perhaps that's why I'm thinking about those cupcakes right now. Check out the show at www.lxtv.com/ido, and look for your local NBC airing schedule to catch the program.

Not born yesterday

Sometimes I just have to laugh...

On one of my wedding Q&A columns, someone posted a question about cash registries and mentioned the site they had in mind, asking me what I thought about the etiquette of cash registries. I wrote back that it's still not proper to ask guests for cash gifts, even in the guise of an organized registry. My fellow community members voiced similar opinions. What resulted was a *blast* of name-calling messages sent from the original poster, and this person has been barred from the website.

Here's the thing...if you work for a bridal website of any kind, and if you've read the same marketing books that I've read, we both know that it's a common PR move to post URLs on social websites asking 'what do you think?' to spread the word about the company you want to promote. This particular poster only created a very Google-able discussion about how BAD cash gift registries are, including home mortgage registries. I've gone on record saying you *can* set one up if you wish, provided it's with a reputable bank or company, but you need to know that these new cash registries often *charge* you to create a cash gift program, and guests might get very offended at your display of greed. If you still want a cash or mortgage registry, I've advised, set up a traditional home registry as well so that guests have a choice.

Even if some wedding experts out there are saying, 'it's okay to ask for cash,' it's really not okay in the eyes of most wedding guests...and those are the people who will be gifting you. What I've found is that offended guests wind up giving you LESS. The choice is yours.

So, poster with the potty-mouth, thanks for giving us the opportunity to shoot down your site and openly discuss the Do's and Don'ts of gift registries. You've helped a lot of people.