Summer book club time!

Several years ago, I founded the first-ever bridal book club featuring wedding-themed novels. With summer beach-reads on everyone's minds, I thought I'd provide you with the discussion points for my own wedding-themed novel "It's My Wedding Too," in which a mother of the bride battles with the mother of the groom, and all of the happy endings are happy...but might just not be what you expect!

SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't read the novel yet, stop right here and print these questions out for when you and your book club finish reading. I'd hate to spoil my own big plot twists ;)

Discussion Questions
For your own Bridal Book Club Meetings

Book Club Questions for:

“It’s My Wedding Too” A Novel

Visit the ongoing book club discussion at
http://www.pashweddings.com/weddingforums/forumdisplay.php?f=146
5 Visitors win a copy of my novel each month, so please do join us
in talking about my comedic
Mother of the Bride vs. Mother of the Groom battle…
And the bride who has to stay sane through it all!



Question 1:
Why do you think that Emilie and Anthony were able to keep their relationship so strong during all of this stressful interference by the mothers? Emilie called Anthony a 'reformed mama's boy,' so how much of their relationship strength comes from the fact that he loves his mom, but he has an adult level of separation from her and a great loyalty to Emilie? [In most chick lit novels, the conflict is that the couple splits and reconsiders marrying. I wanted to stay away from the usual plot point and keep the couple strong so that it's all about the relationships with their moms.]

Question 2:
What would have happened if he was still too close with his clingy mother?

Question 3:
What was the most outrageous thing the mothers did, and were you ever mad at them for Emilie's sake? We know that both mothers had issues from their past, but what do you think they were really trying to accomplish?

Question 4:
Emilie diagnosed Leah as practicing feng shui and magical thinking for something she wasn't yet ready to get (a new love). Why do you think Leah was simultaneously wishing for a man -- and throwing oranges in a superstition that would attract him -- and also pushing real men away? If she knew she wasn't ready, why was she still throwing oranges? Was it more about a wish for herself to be ready, to find something within herself that would allow her to be open? Discuss Leah's character and influence in the book.

Question 5:
Do you agree that eloping was the right thing for Emilie and Anthony to do? And how would you feel if your groom 'surprised' you with a private, secret elopement when you thought you were going on vacation?

Question 6:
What was the funniest scene in the novel? Did it remind you of something that happened to you, or something you WISH you could say to someone?

Question 7:
Share your stories of how your mom or FMIL are like Delilah or Carmela, or how they are even worse...

Question 8:
Did you expect Vic to come back to Carmela? [This was the hardest scene for me to write, and I actually had to walk away from it a few times. It was a complete surprise to me that my character had had enough, that he was done, and that was it. I never expected to have subplots that include NOT getting the guy, or that a happy ending could mean the END of a relationship. What do you think about their decision to split? How is it better for Carmela? For Vic?

Question 9:
What did you think about Leah’s ‘love story’ ending? Were you satisfied or dissatisfied in the form her True Love took?

Question 10:
If this novel were turned into a movie, who would you want to see playing these characters?

My TV segment on "I Do!" on NBC

Last week, I enjoyed the pleasure and honor of taping an etiquette segment for the new NBC upscale wedding show "I Do!" in partnership with TheKnot. It's always such a thrill to tape a big TV segment, and this one delivered me to Chelsea Market in New York City, which is a cavernous foodie mecca and the headquarters of The Food Network. So before my shoot, I explored the cheese store, a tea emporium, and a fantastic wine store as well as the cookie spectacle Eleni's where we shot the segment. TheKnot editor Anja Winnika is a delight, and the production team was top-notch, so I know this segment is going to be amazing. We covered the top etiquette hotspots including guest list hassles, destination weddings, thank you notes, and more, so look for me in July on "I Do!" on NBC, and check out the show's site to catch up on segments you may have missed.

$9.99 bridesmaids' gifts!!

Since the average amount spent on a bridesmaid gift is in the range of $40 to $70 nationwide, I *had* to let you know about the limited-time-offer at ThingsRemembered.com. Check out these very cute bridesmaid and junior bridesmaid gifts for just $9.99! Engraving is extra, of course, but this is a great start!

NEW! Pictures on M&Ms!

Joe just pointed this out to me -- you can now get your PHOTO on custom-designed M&Ms! Since edible favors are all the rage for showers and weddings, why not add a little kick of personalization with fun photos of the two of you on these brilliant incarnations of a favorite candy? They have 22 colors for you to choose from, five of which are too dark for photo impressions, and you can also include personal messages on the M&Ms. Visit their website to place your order [and since it's summertime, have your order delivered to a relative or neighbor who will be home, or to your office if that's allowed. You don't want your chocolates to melt in the sun!]

Do you have etiquette questions?

What's proper in today's modern weddings? When do you need to send out invitations? What's the 'rule' about And Guests? Do you have to go table-to-table at the reception to talk to guests? These are some of the topics we've recently discussed on my Ask the Wedding Etiquette Expert message board on iVillage Weddings. Stop by and ask me your questions, so that you know you're getting the most current etiquette advice tailored to your situation. I'm here to help!

Not born yesterday

Sometimes I just have to laugh...

On one of my wedding Q&A columns, someone posted a question about cash registries and mentioned the site they had in mind, asking me what I thought about the etiquette of cash registries. I wrote back that it's still not proper to ask guests for cash gifts, even in the guise of an organized registry. My fellow community members voiced similar opinions. What resulted was a *blast* of name-calling messages sent from the original poster, and this person has been barred from the website.

Here's the thing...if you work for a bridal website of any kind, and if you've read the same marketing books that I've read, we both know that it's a common PR move to post URLs on social websites asking 'what do you think?' to spread the word about the company you want to promote. This particular poster only created a very Google-able discussion about how BAD cash gift registries are, including home mortgage registries. I've gone on record saying you *can* set one up if you wish, provided it's with a reputable bank or company, but you need to know that these new cash registries often *charge* you to create a cash gift program, and guests might get very offended at your display of greed. If you still want a cash or mortgage registry, I've advised, set up a traditional home registry as well so that guests have a choice.

Even if some wedding experts out there are saying, 'it's okay to ask for cash,' it's really not okay in the eyes of most wedding guests...and those are the people who will be gifting you. What I've found is that offended guests wind up giving you LESS. The choice is yours.

So, poster with the potty-mouth, thanks for giving us the opportunity to shoot down your site and openly discuss the Do's and Don'ts of gift registries. You've helped a lot of people.

A photo from our wedding!

Our fabulous photographer Rich Penrose from http://www.deanmichaelstudios.com/ has sent us an early collection of some of our favorite wedding day photos, and I'm including one here for you to see. More to come...the wedding magazines get first pick!

Catching up on life

Whew! This weekend was 'catching up on life' weekend, where I delved into my To Do list of things I put in motion *before* the wedding. Yes, that was almost 2 months ago! I happily took on several big assignments before the Big Day, and now it's time to fulfill all promises and deliver by deadlines. And in true Sharon Naylor fashion, that means beat the deadlines. For instance, I received the edit pages for my new book 'Home From the Honeymoon,' on Friday, and I spent the entire weekend line-editing the whole thing, done by 9pm on Sunday. And it was a blast. Considering I wrote this baby during the weeks before the wedding, there were surprisingly few typos. (Yes, typos still make me shudder, even 37 books later!). I find the edit stage to be the most gratifying, since the time away from the project gives you clear vision into what you were trying to say. And you get the clear vision of your editor. It's a rewarding point in the book creation process -- going from 300 blank pages (yikes!) to almost published form (yay!).

With this giant pack of papers covered with tiny hot pink post-it notes and my red pen scribbles all ready to go, I can set this aside and dig into the text for my other big ongoing project (I'll announce the topic soon!). I came up with the solution for a 'frustrating screeching halt' in the text while watering my peonies yesterday, so I'm excited to fire up the Macros program and get on it.

And can I just say how much I love seeing Joe work on technical improvements to our house? (Sorry, Giz, the praise continues!). We brought home our new 'baby': a big TV to replace my *20 year old* ancient TV where you couldn't read the words on the crawls at the bottom of the screen. And Joe did all the wiring and attaching and running cords through to the basement -- I have to admit that I was distracted from work because I wanted to just keep looking at him. Someone should market a 'hot guy working on the house' series of DVDs...it's a beautiful thing to see. And to be fair, I caught him looking at me as I was watering the shade garden. I like to think he was admiring my form, but he may have been making sure I didn't drown the ferns! We're enjoying domestic life very much...it's a fine distraction from the post-wedding things we're making progress on whenever we have time -- picking proof numbers and writing thank-you's. There's still a month to go for TY's, according to the latest etiquette Do's. We're in good shape.

And not to sound like Carrie Bradshaw with her loaded questions, but is there any such thing as being 'caught up on life?'

Call your airline to confirm!

Warning! American Airlines has made several flight schedule changes specifically to the Eastern Caribbean, affecting travel between September 2, 2008 – November 19, 2008. So if this puts a crimp in your destination wedding or honeymoon plans, get on the phone right now! And tell your friends to double-check their travel plans as well.

Funny story: while in the waiting room at a medical center (I'm fine; just a routine exam), the nurse called me by my new married name...and it took a second to register "Wait, that's me!" After all the weeks of name-change hell, these moments are priceless!

Allergies and wedding season

Allergy symptoms can really make you miserable! And if it's your wedding day, indoors or outside, you don't want sneezing and congestion wrecking your Big Day. I have allergies, and I had an outdoor wedding....without one sneeze nor watery eyes. I'm a big fan of Nasonex (consult with your doctor first!) and they've added me to their star-studded roster of NasonExperts along with one of my heroes, fitness expert Kathy Kaehler. Check out my article on Allergy-Proofing Your Wedding.

More reasons to think about a garden wedding

My colleague Darcy Miller, from Martha Stewart Weddings, and I have been quoted in this wonderful article in the Press Democrat of Santa Rosa, California. Find out the extra perks of planning your big day outside in the beauty of nature, including how your wedding day expenses can last a lifetime.

What would you do to lose weight for your wedding?

Fitness Magazine has just released the results of their new survey on what today's brides would do to reach their ideal weight for their weddings. Put off the big day? Move in with their mom-in-law? The results show that there are still WAY too many women out there who would consider desperate measures rather than a slow and steady, healthy approach, so that's why you need a good health regimen and realistic goals! Pick up the new issue of Fitness magazine to get started on the best plan for you....and remember that you're going to be a radiant bride if you're healthy and glowing, not sick and exhausted from not taking care of yourself.


BRIDEZILLA CONFESSIONS!
Fitness Magazine Reveals Exclusive Survey Results

29% of women would be willing to move in with their mother-in-law if it meant reaching their ideal weight by their wedding day.

May 6, 2008, NEW YORK, NY—Eighty three percent of all brides-to-be want to slim down for their wedding, and they need to lose a lot—33% are hoping to unload 30 or more pounds before The Big Day.

Just how far will brides go to look their best? Fitness surveyed more than 1,000 of them and discovered that 36% would take weight loss pills or supplements, 1 in 7 would fast for a week and 6% would try plastic surgery in order to achieve wedding-day body bliss.

Full survey results are available. An excerpt below:


· Only 14% of brides-to-be say they are at their ideal weight.
· 1 in 5 women would postpone her nuptials if she wasn’t at her goal weight by her wedding day.
· 80 % of brides want a gown that conceals their belly; 46% want a dress that flaunts their cleavage; 32% of women say they want a gown that camouflages back fat.
· After losing weight for the wedding, 50% of women give themselves 12 months, tops, before they gain it back.
· While 83% of women want to lose weight before they walk down the aisle, just 34% of men do.
· 63% of brides say “my fiancé loves my body exactly as it is,” but the feeling isn’t mutual: Only 47% of engaged women say the same thing about their man.
· 1 in 3 brides purposely buys a dress that doesn’t fit. (22% buy one that’s too small, 11% purchase one that’s too big.)
· 17% of women admit to considering their friends’ weight when selecting bridesmaids, but only 5% encouraged them to shed the pounds.
· The top two tricks for losing weight: 43% of brides-to-be double their workout time and 41% go on a strict diet
· The celebrity bride women most want to look like? It’s a tie between Eva Longoria and Jennifer Lopez (27% each)

For more information on Fitness, log on to http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/.

What a weekend!

Joe turned my birthday weekend into a dream come true! It's my first birthday as Mrs., first birthday in the new house, and last birthday of my 30s! Everyone has the usual teasing attitude about being over the hill (all in good nature, of course), but I feel like I'm in my 20s! I guess that's all that matters...how you feel and how others make you feel. On both counts, it was an awesome weekend. Too many highlights to mention, but I have to say how much I *loved* going to a new garden center and stocking up on flowers and plants for our front yard, then going to Home Depot to pick up a few extra trees with my birthday gift card [Something to keep in mind...if you want to purchase plants or trees to fix up your place for the wedding weekend, Home Depot guarantees their plants! And their prices are outstanding. Something to keep in mind...as well as for potted herbs as party favors, a great 'green' gift idea. I also love the idea of getting parents a tree as your wedding thank you gift...something they'll enjoy for years and years.]

For my birthday dinner, Joe and I went to the same jazz club where we originally had our first date. How fun to look at those two bar stools now and remember how it all started :) We now have 1 1/2 cakes in our refrigerator (yikes!) and a bunch of leftovers from my family's traditional Memorial Day barbecue. This is my parents' big party of the year, so there was no way we were going to miss that. Just a great weekend all around, and *12* chapters edited in spare morning time [that means waking up at 6am every day on a holiday weekend to churn out a fresh edition of my very first book...great new resources added, plus a new destination wedding section, so keep an eye out for it this fall. Don't worry...I'll remind you!] Also coming out soon: The Bride's Survival Guide, a full-photo book on wedding flowers, and more. Now that the wedding's done, it's back to full-throttle!

But first, a big thank you to my Joe for the best birthday weekend ever.

Catch me in Marie Claire

My Wedding Etiquette Expert Q&A is in Marie Claire magazine! Check it out on newstands or on their site .

What are your bigtime etiquette problems? Send me a note at my Sharon Naylor Weddings site, and I'll help you out. I'm also at iVillage Weddings' Ask the Etiquette Expert message board if you want my help plus group input.

Choosing your first dance song

Check me out in this Pittsburg Post Gazette Story on choosing your first dance song. The article is part of a syndicate, so you may see this same story in your own hometown newspaper, along with a recent AP story that's floating around out there right now.

Lots of big things cookin' these days, so stay tuned for updates! Right now, I'm working on an array of fun articles, editing two books and writing two more books -- all due this summer! With this tough economy, everyone wants material on how to get more wedding for less money, and it can be done! And done beautifully! You just have to get an inside peek at each of the industries in wedding world (catering, photography, etc.). That's where my books come in, so give yourself an advantage by checking out my site.

Watching the wedding video

Our wedding DVD is in! Justin Cristaldi did a fabulous job on our wedding footage -- I especially love how he did the whole 'Wizard of Oz' thing moving from black and white to a color transition when I approached the top of the aisle...just a fantastic capturing of the best moments of our day, and Joe and I got to see a lot of the details we missed while we were getting ready, while we were taking photos, etc. How amazing, one month later, to see how great a time everyone was having, to see my parents dancing after 5 long years of cancer treatments, and to see my handsome groom looking at me with such love in his eyes. I took the DVD over to my parents' place today (yes, I cut out of work for the morning because they *really* wanted to see it right away :) and they really enjoyed it. The best thing about watching the video with someone else is that you get to see it through their eyes, hear about which details thrill them, and hear the insider stories about what else we missed that was going on during the wedding. Always inspiring and smile-inducing.

So if you're planning your wedding right now and thinking about skipping the expense of a wedding video...DON'T DO IT. This footage only gets more valuable over time, and it would be a shame to miss out on watching the DVD with your kids someday. There are budget tricks to getting more for your videographer dollar, and you can find those in my book 1000 BEST WEDDING BARGAINS. I'd just hate to see you regret not hiring a pro later down the road.

Thank you, Justin, for an amazing job! The honeymoon montage was spectacular -- we had wanted that version of 'Over the Rainbow' for our reception but didn't get around to acquiring it...so what a thrill to have it on our DVD. We'll treasure this!

Christian Lacroix Wedding Water

You've put a lot of attention to the details of your wedding, from the gown to the cake to the menu and songs you'll dance to. Now, you have a chance to add some designer 'Wow!' to your water bottles. Legendary designer Christian Lacroix has created this gorgeous lace-inspired wedding water bottle for Evian, and it can be a part of YOUR wedding. How much would you guess that it costs? $100? $200? $500? Click here to find out, and get ready to start shopping for your own designer wedding water bottles.

How adorable are these?

These "Mint To Be" wedding mints were a big hit at our wedding! We had them placed in the restrooms, and guests were stuffing their purses and pockets with them! Joe gets credit for spotting these on the Kate Aspen wedding favors site, which I strongly encourage you to explore for the best, cutest, most useful and best-priced wedding favors on the market. Check out the destination wedding favors, and keep this site in mind for your family's additional upcoming parties, too!

8 days, 7 nights at Caneel Bay

It was the perfect honeymoon -- Caneel Bay in St. John (http://www.caneelbay.com/) is heaven on earth, and the kind of 5-star treatment that celebrities enjoy (Brad and Angelina were supposedly at the cottage next to ours sometime prior to our arrival, and someone said they saw Matthew McConnaughey out on a boat..."Was the guy wearing a shirt?" "No." "It must have been him then!" We'll take it.) We felt like we were in a dream the entire time...with the ocean just steps from our room, deer and wild donkeys roaming the grounds of the protected wildlife preserve where the resort is located), unbelievably blue ocean, perfect weather, and such great fish and fruit that we felt super-energized. I could go on and on, but you have to experience it for yourself. Seriously. I've been to many island resorts, and this one is by far the best I've ever experienced...and to get to share it with my husband, my best friend? Priceless.

Okay, some insider stories from our honeymoon that won't appear in any magazine features on our trip:
* Joe goes snorkeling and sees angel fish and rainbow fish. I go snorkeling and come face to face with a barracuda. We also passed over a stingray or two. I preferred to watch the fish from the dock from that point on. :)
* I SO wanted to see a dolphin that I thought *everything* in the ocean was one. "Dolphin!" I would yell out over breakfast overlooking the bay, and Joe would shake his head and say, "No, that's a person snorkeling." or "No, that's a rock."
* We saw a donkey that was very excited to see us.
* Add banana and Baileys to a pina colada and you get something very, very good.
* Don't wear Keds if you're going hiking after it rains. But do play in the sprinklers if you can.
* Get an underwater camera.

We had so many adventures together -- it was my first time kayaking, Joe went scuba diving, we hiked -- that there wasn't one day where we just lounged on the beach. We could do that anywhere. Caneel Bay offers so much beauty and the best massage I've ever had in my life, that we didn't want to miss a moment. Stay tuned for my feature article on this resort. We're going back for our anniversary next year, and probably every year after that. I quote Joe: "This place just gets more beautiful every day." How did we ever vacation elsewhere?

"A Wedding Out of a Movie"

We're back from the honeymoon [Add Caneel Bay in St. John to your Places to Get To list! www.caneelbay.com], and I'm thrilled to report that our wedding was amazing. Beyond our dreams. Guests said it was like a wedding out of a movie, and we gratefully share the credit with the amazing vendors we hired and Bill Chriswell and his staff at The Park Savoy (www.theparksavoy.com). Joe and I started from Minute One with the goal of giving our friends and family an unforgettable experience, a wedding day filled with the finest food in the state, the joy of child guests, great entertainment and beauty...and the day turned out to be pure magic. Perfect weather. The trees all in bloom. Every detail perfect.

From the smiling faces of our guests, we knew we had met our goal. People were texting photos of the cocktail and dessert buffets to their friends at home!

Since the most important part of any wedding, no matter how perfectly designed and blessed, is the PEOPLE who come together to celebrate your happiness, we are even more thrilled to report that all of our favorite people had an absolute blast all the way through the wedding weekend. We have terrific friends and family, and we're so fulfilled to know that they enjoyed the day with each other as well as with us. It couldn't have been more perfect.

And I got to marry the most wonderful man on Earth.

Details from the wedding will soon appear in magazines, so I have to stay a little bit quiet here, but I can say that we had a paparazzo! And that a line in the vows quotes Bret Michaels from 'Rock of Love,' and that my Something Blue was a Smurf [Joe knows I used to collect them when I was a little girl], and that we danced a spotlight dance to Vinx's 'Man and Wife' [ www.vinx.com to hear the amazing voice we fell in love to.]

I'm catching up on work right now [I haven't been out of the office this long in 15 years! And yes, I did check my e-mail from the resort :O], but the next report will be on the honeymoon....with pictures.