Monday, May 01, 2006

There is a 'we' in Wedding

"It's MY wedding" "For MY wedding" "I'M having at MY wedding..."

It's something I see all the time. One partner -- usually the bride, but sometimes the groom...and sometimes the parent who is paying for the wedding -- has lost sight of the fact that the wedding is a celebration of BOTH people getting married. Some parents lose sight of the fact that the wedding is for the couple. I, me, mine. If I had to pick one habit that's responsible for strife in the wedding plans -- and a certain indicator of trouble in the marriage to come -- it's this singular focus.

So today's PSA is a reminder to all marrying couples that there is a 'WE' in Wedding. There's also an "I." It's your choice which type of person you're going to be, what message you'll send to your partner and to everyone around you. If you're steaming because your groom wants something his way, if you're angry because a bridesmaid can't meet on a certain day because she has an emergency, if you've lost your previously admirable personality and turned into a Bridezilla (or Groomzilla, or Momzilla, etc.) you've lost sight of the fact that your wedding, your life, your friendships, your family are all a part of the WE that you belong to, the WE that lasts long after the wedding day.

So a little friendly advice: take some time to think about how far you've drifted from WE. And paddle back to being the person everyone loves so much, a person who values the gift of the people around you. Your wedding is one day, a very important day but one day. Your relationships are forever. Getting back to WE....priceless. It's not too late. Assess where you are right now as you're planning. Look at your relationships. Look at what you may have denied or ignored that your partner has requested. Parents, step out of your role and look at the bride and groom as people. Couple, look at what your parents have done for you all of your life. What can you do today to step out of that vortex and bring more WE into your life, and into the wedding plans?

There is a big future after the wedding, after the party. Prepare for the marriage, not just the Big Day.