Tuesday, March 04, 2008

Don't they realize there's a future ahead?

I've been thinking a lot about a bride's family I've been helping at my iVillage Weddings etiquette board...they have an out-of-control mother of the groom who has essentially planned a rehearsal dinner that's way bigger and grander than the wedding. So she 'scooped' the wedding in some sick competition with the bride's family. She will 'win' this one, but at what cost? Alienating the bride and groom? Hurting feelings? Embarrassing her husband? It seems that some people put 'winning' above all other things, eschewing etiquette and what the bride and groom want just to get their way. They don't care at all about other people's feelings. This mother-in-law is going to get her Wedding #1....but she has a lifetime of loneliness ahead of her. Her steamrolling personality will have no one to steamroll. She's just planned a very dark future for herself...because no one forgets the way you behave when a wedding is being planned. No one forgets how you hurt the bride or groom. Your need to 'win' means you lose, bigtime. This pre-wedding era is a sacred time when everything does mean more. If you blow it, there's no going back. I'm so upset for this bride and groom from the post on my etiquette board, but here's the bright side: the mother made a big show of just how self-centered she is, and this will help protect the couple in the future. There's no way this groom will let his bride be hurt again by her.