Thursday, March 13, 2008

My favorite post on iVillage

A fan asked me recently which post on my blog "Planning in Peace" at iVillage Weddings is my all-time favorite, and I have to say it's this one: "What Falls Away". The sad fact is that while weddings *should* be magical times where the bride and groom get a brief window of everyone working to make their dreams come true, that's not always the case. You do find out, sadly, that some people aren't what you thought they were, or that they don't value your friendship as much as you though they did. You may have canceled your own vacation plans in the past to attend their wedding, but here they are not coming to yours because they have to go to their nephew's whiffle ball game, or they have an appointment with a psychic that day. The 'reasons' can be mind-blowing. Of course you will get some reasons that inspire empathy on your part -- we have some guests with tough medical issues we understand completely, and we have a gravely ill great-aunt right now. Guest list responses aren't the only issue here...I hear from a lot of brides whose bridesmaids are letting them down, and that's the Big One. So I'm speaking generally to my big audience of brides, grooms and their families that the wedding season will present a great gift, albeit a tough one: you find out who you will devote extra effort to keep close in your life. That's looking at the positives. We have 140+ guests who are making great sacrifices in money and time to be with us, and great friends who jump to fulfill our wishes for this day. So if you have some 'What Falls Away' issues in your own wedding, join us in focusing on the Awesome People. I've always felt that what falls away just makes room for bigger blessings down the road.