Page proofs

Over the past few weeks, I've received the page proofs for two of my upcoming books. Page proofs are the layout versions of what the book pages will look like when you buy it, with any color, graphics, sidebars all put in place by the publisher. It's my first look at what the book will look like, as opposed to the basic manuscript I turned in. When you see boxed text in a book, the author probably submitted it looking something like this:

BEGIN SIDEBAR
Did You Know?
The average amount spent on wedding favors is over $300.
END SIDEBAR

When that is coded and placed in a book, well, you know what that turns out like. So this process is fine-tooth-combing the page proofs for any typos and cut-and-paste errors, and this is when we also chop out any extra text to fit the page number spacing. When the text is converted into the final font and sidebars are created, that takes up some pages. So out go a lot of the extras, paragraphs are cut down, segments are chopped. But in the end, we've got a perfect fit.

I'm thrilled to have these two books into production -- especially since one set of page proofs had been delivered to the wrong house, and we thought they were lost until a kind neighbor drove it over here! -- and focus fully on the book I'm working on now, which includes a topic I've been wanting to tackle for a long time. But first, the dishwasher needs emptying, the counter needs cleaning...all the usual distractions faced by everyone who works from a home office. At least I don't have a parade of workers ringing the doorbell this week -- we wisely requested that our township mark where our water, sewer and gas lines are under our lawn...and wouldn't you know -- our water line runs EXACTLY where we were planning to plant our new dogwood tree. THAT would have been fun. The lines are marked, the house is quiet, and I get to --- wait, there's the doorbell. The fun never ends....I'll get to writing at some point.

Are you ready for some football?

Sports-themed pre-wedding parties are a top trend right now, as couples look to their shared passion for sports teams as a great foundation for their party plans. Since tonight starts the NFL season, now's the perfect time for me to suggest a sportsfan-friendly focus if you want to do something a little bit different for a co-ed bridal shower, wedding weekend event or even the rehearsal dinner. For any party that takes place during the sports season, just design your own themed invitations using the software and papers at http://www.mountaincow.com/, and let your guests know to wear blue for your Giants'-themed party, or -- if they dare -- the color of their favorite team. If you have a wide mix of sportsfans, just make it an NFL party and have guests wear their choices of pro player jerseys or team shirts. Decor is easy, tailgate party food is a breeze, microbrew beers can take the place of a keg if you're not the kegtapping types, and somebody in your circle of friends has that CD of stadium songs. Now let's say your party takes place on the weekend of a big playoff game....many of your guests will be far happier to attend your bash and not miss the action.

Of course I'm using the NFL as an example here because I'm a football fan, but you can do the same with your alma mater football team colors, baseball, basketball, whatever you'd like.

It's a fun way to put a new twist on a wedding celebration party.

Want more party theme ideas? Check out my book The Ultimate Bridal Shower Idea Book.

Check out Anne Chertoff's new wedding organizer!

My colleague and friend Anne Chertoff has launched her own line of wedding organizers and workbooks through russell+hazel, so check them out here. The planning notebook would be especially helpful for moms who are helping with the planning, or planning their own pre- or post-wedding events for you.

Why am I promoting a book by another wedding author? Because that's what we do in this industry! My colleagues and fellow wedding authors have always been amazing at co-promoting each other (and me) -- David Tutera featured me on his show Get Married about 6 times. Martha Stewart's Sirius Satellite Radio Show? I've been on 3 times so far. Carley Roney at TheKnot welcomed me onto their show 'I Do!' on NBC. And Anne Chertoff, now at Brides, was instrumental in getting me my two gigs on iVillage. We all promote one another. I've found...and this is part of why I love this job...the bigger the 'name' the more helpful the celebrity wedding expert is. Sylvia Weinstock and Ron Ben Israel have given me countless quotes for my books (and I have to admit that I was a bit of nervous, giggling idiot when I met Sylvia for the first time. But that's a story for another day.) Right now, I'm just guiding you to Anne's awesome wedding organizer line...be sure to check it out!

Cool places to tie the knot

One of the tips in my bestselling book 1000 Best Secrets for Your Perfect Wedding is finding the perfect, unique location for your wedding. You might get better prices and you'll definitely get more Wow Factor when you choose a fantastic locale for your big day. Check out these jaw-dropping sites in this article and have fun dreaming about what it might be like to have your wedding at any of these places!

Catch me in Hallmark Magazine

Excitement in the mail today with the arrival of my Hallmark Magazine! Check out my wedding toast tip here.

Giving 'green' wedding gifts and favors

I've long been a fan of www.Gaiam.com, so while nominating the company for an earth-friendly award, I stumbled upon this link of green-friendly gift companies and websites. It's worth a look, even though I can't personally vouch for any of these sites yet. But I will be checking them out in the near future!

The copyedit stage

As much as I love the process of writing my books, I love the copyedit stage even more. That's when it's Fine-Tooth-Comb stage, looking for every little typo or factoid that might need a second glance. On this gorgeous fall-like morning, I'm sipping my French Vanilla coffee and copyediting my new book 'Home From the Honeymoon,' which helps newlyweds create fun ways to celebrate all of the exciting Firsts of newlywed life...and handle the challenges as well. I couldn't be more proud of a manuscript -- it may be my new favorite.

As I copyedit, shortening some FYI boxes for layout space and giggling over some of the inside jokes that I always put in my books, I came across a factoid that stopped me in my tracks. Is Virginia Woolf actually Virgina Woolff? I know, I know. All you English majors out there are smacking your foreheads and thinking, "What?! Shouldn't she know that?" I can assure you that when you're in fact-check mode, the most basic tidbits can send you right to Google. So I looked up our dear departed friend Virginia, assured the correct spelling of her name, and found out that her real first name was Adeline. (Again, English majors, feel free to sigh... :) The copyedit stage always brings up some great trivia that makes this stage more of a game than a chore. In the end, we have a mistake-free manuscript for you. In my earliest days as an author, I named the wrong spouse for a distant member of England's royal family and that made it to print after sliding past two additional editors as well. Ooops. Only one royal-watcher from across the pond sent me a gentle note to correct the prince's name. In another of my books from years ago, a legitimate-at-the-time wedding resource that I included in my Resources section evolved into a phone sex line! These things happen, since change is as inevitable as the turning of the seasons. As writers, we're perfectionists, so everything gets a once-over, and it's a victory to discover an error at this stage...and you find out the coolest things when you're triple-researching something.

So that makes every stage of book-writing fun for me. The next step? Seeing this book in the front windows of bookstores during wedding season. And knowing that Virginia is happy her name is spelled correctly.

Congratulations Ellen and Portia!

The morning news is filled with stories about Ellen DeGeneres and Portia DeRossi getting married this weekend, and my InBox is filled with questions from reporters on the best advice for gay and lesbian weddings, what the new trends will be, and how weddings can be personalized. My answer: every one of my wedding books is appropriate for ALL weddings. There's no different information, since weddings are all about two people in love, uniting their lives in a very special and personal display of commitment, shared by closest loved ones, and designed to reflect the couple's idea of beauty and sentiment. All the best weddings include elements of the couple's love story, so there's my book 1000 BEST SECRETS FOR YOUR PERFECT WEDDING. On a budget? Pick up 1000 BEST WEDDING BARGAINS. Want to give a smashing toast? Read YOUR SPECIAL WEDDING TOASTS. Want your vows to have extra meaning? YOUR SPECIAL WEDDING VOWS. Want to be organized? THE BUSY BRIDE'S ESSENTIAL WEDDING CHECKLISTS. Moms need answers? THE MOTHER OF THE BRIDE BOOK, MOTHER OF THE GROOM and my podcast "Here Come the Moms."
Right now, I'm marveling over Portia's beautiful gown -- she has gorgeous shoulders and that gown couldn't be more perfect.
I just read an article in Special Events Magazine saying that the term 'gay weddings' will very soon not need the qualifier, since every wedding is an opportunity to gather friends and family for a happy celebration. I'm thrilled to be in this business, helping couples in love plan their Dream Days. That's what makes each step to my computer in the morning (my 20-step commute!) a joy.

Get fashion help from a J.Crew personal shopper

In several of my books, I reported on the fabulous personal shopper programs at department stores such as Bloomingdales and Lord & Taylor, where stylists pre-select dresses, shoes and accessories according to your wishes and then have them all waiting for you in a dressing room for your VIP try-on session. Yes, just like in the movie "Pretty Woman." Who wouldn't want to have a FREE session with a professional stylist to choose the best new outfits for the rehearsal dinner, the morning-after breakfast, and the honeymoon?

This announcement just came across my desk, with J.Crew now offering personal shopper services, plus a 20% discount, so I thought I'd pass this along to you! Enjoy your VIP style session!

For Asian wedding elements

If you'd like to incorporate any Asian-inspired decor elements into your wedding plans, check out this terrific site with decor tips, item resources and neat symbolism FYI's of many types of flowers, colors, greenery and earth elements: http://www.geocities.com/japanese_wedding_favor/cranes.htm

08/08/08 Weddings

Congratulations to the many brides and grooms who booked today, 08/08/08, as the lucky date for their weddings! Weddings have been focused on superstition for many ages, with brides and grooms over many centuries wanting good luck, abundance, fertility, and health for their partnerships and their partners. Most of the rituals we celebrate today have their roots in ancient good-luck superstitions -- the veil was supposed to shield the bride from evil spirits (and later, rival tribes, clans and families) who might steal her away from her happily ever after. The cake -- before its iced incarnation -- was once a pile of breads meant to symbolize abundance for the bride and groom. Somewhere along the line, someone said, "I think I'll frost it" and thus was born the wedding cake as we know it today. It may look different, but it holds the same magic for modern couples that the pile of wheat rolls held for their ancestors long ago. We all want luck, so it's no wonder that 08/08/08 was quickly snapped up as THE big wedding date -- and several national wedding contests take place today as well -- just like we saw in 07/07/07. I'm a fan of Perfect 10, as are many people, so what will 10/10/10 in two years be like for the wedding industry? Believe it or not, couples getting engaged this summer might just be looking at their 2010 calendars to book their big day -- with the new trend of Weekday Weddings at 1/3 the price of weekend weddings, it doesn't even *matter* if 10/10/10 doesn't fall on a weekend.

Is your toast ready?

It's wedding season, and if you're like most people, you have at least a few weddings to attend in the coming weeks -- and perhaps a few bachelorette parties. Since I've always said Words Make the Wedding, why not prepare a special toast in honor of the bride and groom? If you're not the Maid of Honor or Best Man, those who are slated to speak at the reception, you can propose a toast at another occasion such as a shower or even in the couple's honor at a regular 'ol family dinner. Check out my book Your Special Wedding Toasts for the top tips on toast-writing and -giving, hundreds of classic and contemporary quotes to build your toast around, and warnings about the top mistakes you don't want to make. Cheers!

The Police concert

Last night, Joe and I escaped to take in The Police concert -- we had seen them before on this same tour in New York City, and last night they came to the Garden State as they wind down their tour. We chanced upon a corner of the lawn seats that is designated as family-friendly and put us within a hundred yards of the stage, and it was a beautiful night to sit under the stars and listen to so many of the songs we had played at our wedding...at this first concert we attended *since* the weddding. (Gotta celebrate all the fun Firsts of newlywed life! Speaking of which, I have a book coming out on exactly this topic!) I always love it when I can *see* how much an artist loves what he does, as evidenced by the expressions on Sting's face, and the joy he and the band get when the crowd sings their lyrics en masse. As writers and musicians, that has to be an amazing thing for them. I'm sure it never gets old. It was a great night...and now it's back to working on the two books that are closing in on deadline.

Find the perfect colors for your wedding

In our book "What's Your Bridal Style?", my co-author Casey Cooper and I help you find the perfect style definitions for your wedding theme and decisions, and we tell you to go to Home Depot or Lowes to look at the paint color strips to collect different combinations of hues for inspiration. Well, you don't have to go to the store anymore! Visit the website for Benjamin Moore to look at their color strips online, and you might just discover the most beautiful color combo together! I love this site's color wheel lessons as well, so spend some time checking out their interactive tool for 'trying out' color combos in a room, as well.

Check me out in this month's New Jersey Bride!

My latest article is featured in the Fall-Winter '08 issue of New Jersey Bride, so if you're thinking about having a stylish and sentimental, or flashy and formal, at-home wedding -- even if you don't live in New Jersey -- read all the details right here.

Catch me on NBC's show "I Do!"

A little advance notice here...the August 2nd episode of "I Do!" on NBC features me and The Knot's Anja Winnika talking about wedding etiquette...all the while sitting in front of the most amazing cupcakes I've ever seen. Yes, close to 4pm as I'm writing this, and I'm having a sugar crash, so perhaps that's why I'm thinking about those cupcakes right now. Check out the show at www.lxtv.com/ido, and look for your local NBC airing schedule to catch the program.

Great news for your feet!

Ooo, here's a great one for you...every bride wants to look her best from head to toe, and especially if you're planning to wear fabulous shoes on your wedding day, you want them to 1). Look great, 2). Be comfortable, and 3). Stay ON your feet for a long, long time so that you're not in agony halfway through your reception, kicking those designer shoes off.

Check this kit out:

Foot Petals...a world of sexy sole-utionz!” The Runaway Bride gift set gives you all (even spa socks!) that you need to achieve this once-impossible feat of comfortable and sexy style!
Style #RUN1006
The ultimate shoe solution bridal gift set includes:
· Killer Kushionz-shoe insoles, provide foot support
· Tip Toes-ball of foot cushions, stop feet from sliding
· Heavenly Heelz-heel cushions, keep feet secure in shoes
· Strappy Strips-thin strips, add comfort to any shoe
· *Sole Stopperz-non-slip, patch protects soles from wear
· Petal Plusheez-comfort your stressed out feet
· All products are one size, one pair per pack
· *Two pairs per pack

Find these at Bare Necessities, and get your feet ready for action...as well as the new trend photographers are practicing all over the country -- getting closeup shots of you wearing your amazing shoes!

Rachael Ray's new charity line of dogfood

In the 'Good to Know' category, Rachael Ray has expanded her line to include nutritious pet foods, and the profits go to animal charities! Since we have a lot of pet-parents among us (you'll love the link I'm about to share!), I thought I'd do my part to spread the word. Perhaps a bowl of Nutrish under your sweetheart table to feed your tux-wearing pooch? Find out more here: http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/25885558/, and check out the videos on the right. No, I'm not in them...just looking out for my brides and grooms who want to include their pets in their Big Days.

Have you had your juice today?

I love this site -- and its terrific newsletter -- for the latest on easy, healthy practices to incorporate into your life, nutrition reminders, their picks for the top fitness moves and products, and just general 'take care of you!' messages...which you really need now, during this time of stress and added activity that can deplete your energy levels. Visit them today, and sign up for that newsletter at http://www.vitaljuicedaily.com/.

Looking for a Calligrapher?

As I'm updating my book 1001 Ways to Save Money and Still Have a Dazzling Wedding, I thought to expand my list of professional calligraphers, and I hit the jackpot when I found the Association for the Calligraphic Arts: http://www.acatemp.org/calligraphers.htm. Here are some possible leads for your own calligrapher search -- just be sure to ask about their specialties and see samples of their work!

Joe and I are just back from a *wonderful* weekend attending our cousins' post-destination-wedding reception. They did an amazing job planning, the details were perfection, and their deejay kept the dance floor packed. It was a great celebration, made all the better by my husband's brilliant idea that we spend a few days at the beach. (After the hell we've been through the past few weeks, we needed it!) We explored a neat boutique hotel in Spring Lake that I'll be reporting on soon, and found the most charming little breakfast spot. Now we're back and jumping right on our work...

Catch me on NBC News!

After a tough day, I needed a little boost, so it was a thrill to see my podcast "Here Come the Moms" featured on NBC News. Watch the video to find out some of the top, helpful wedding websites.

A cover with...connotation?

Many people ask me if I get to design the covers of my books. No, I leave that up to the talented designers at my publishing houses, and I've never been dissastisfied. Speaking of which...we're getting ready to release the 3rd edition of the very first book I ever wrote: 1001 Ways to Save Money and Still Have a Dazzling Wedding. My editor Sarah Pelz just sent me the cover graphic for this edition, with a question about a certain phrase featured on the cover: "Over 150,000 satisfied brides." The design team mentioned that the term 'satisfied' had a certain...connotation, so we've decided to change the cover to "Over 150,000 happy brides." While finding ways to save money on wedding planning is always exciting, we don't want anyone thinking it's that satisfying. (Although it might be if you find a Vera Wang dress on sale for almost nothing!) ;)

Wanna win $500?

Sharing an announcement I received the other day...

Wedtro.com Creates the "I Did" It This Way Contest for Brides to Share their Best Planning Ideas.

People are still shamelessly interested in other people's business, and brides are people too. Wedtro.com wanted to create a forum for brides to share their most fabulous wedding planning ideas. The "I Did" It This Way video contest was born, with a reward of $500.00 going to the bride with the most inspirational idea.

Wedtro.com presents the "I Did" It This Way video contest for brides searching for inspiration while planning for their wedding. Brides will be asked to share their best planning ideas through videotape. The entries will feature an example of the idea itself or an explanation of the plan to be. This will allow brides the opportunity to scan other entries and get the inside scoop on what other brides are doing.The winner will be selected by the viewing public. The entrant with the most inspirational idea and highest number of votes will win $500.00. In today's economy, a chance at trimming a little off of the wedding budget is never a bad idea. The contest is currently underway and will run through August 14th, 2008. Visit www.Wedtro.com for contest details and submission instructions.

Summer book club time!

Several years ago, I founded the first-ever bridal book club featuring wedding-themed novels. With summer beach-reads on everyone's minds, I thought I'd provide you with the discussion points for my own wedding-themed novel "It's My Wedding Too," in which a mother of the bride battles with the mother of the groom, and all of the happy endings are happy...but might just not be what you expect!

SPOILER ALERT! If you haven't read the novel yet, stop right here and print these questions out for when you and your book club finish reading. I'd hate to spoil my own big plot twists ;)

Discussion Questions
For your own Bridal Book Club Meetings

Book Club Questions for:

“It’s My Wedding Too” A Novel

Visit the ongoing book club discussion at
http://www.pashweddings.com/weddingforums/forumdisplay.php?f=146
5 Visitors win a copy of my novel each month, so please do join us
in talking about my comedic
Mother of the Bride vs. Mother of the Groom battle…
And the bride who has to stay sane through it all!



Question 1:
Why do you think that Emilie and Anthony were able to keep their relationship so strong during all of this stressful interference by the mothers? Emilie called Anthony a 'reformed mama's boy,' so how much of their relationship strength comes from the fact that he loves his mom, but he has an adult level of separation from her and a great loyalty to Emilie? [In most chick lit novels, the conflict is that the couple splits and reconsiders marrying. I wanted to stay away from the usual plot point and keep the couple strong so that it's all about the relationships with their moms.]

Question 2:
What would have happened if he was still too close with his clingy mother?

Question 3:
What was the most outrageous thing the mothers did, and were you ever mad at them for Emilie's sake? We know that both mothers had issues from their past, but what do you think they were really trying to accomplish?

Question 4:
Emilie diagnosed Leah as practicing feng shui and magical thinking for something she wasn't yet ready to get (a new love). Why do you think Leah was simultaneously wishing for a man -- and throwing oranges in a superstition that would attract him -- and also pushing real men away? If she knew she wasn't ready, why was she still throwing oranges? Was it more about a wish for herself to be ready, to find something within herself that would allow her to be open? Discuss Leah's character and influence in the book.

Question 5:
Do you agree that eloping was the right thing for Emilie and Anthony to do? And how would you feel if your groom 'surprised' you with a private, secret elopement when you thought you were going on vacation?

Question 6:
What was the funniest scene in the novel? Did it remind you of something that happened to you, or something you WISH you could say to someone?

Question 7:
Share your stories of how your mom or FMIL are like Delilah or Carmela, or how they are even worse...

Question 8:
Did you expect Vic to come back to Carmela? [This was the hardest scene for me to write, and I actually had to walk away from it a few times. It was a complete surprise to me that my character had had enough, that he was done, and that was it. I never expected to have subplots that include NOT getting the guy, or that a happy ending could mean the END of a relationship. What do you think about their decision to split? How is it better for Carmela? For Vic?

Question 9:
What did you think about Leah’s ‘love story’ ending? Were you satisfied or dissatisfied in the form her True Love took?

Question 10:
If this novel were turned into a movie, who would you want to see playing these characters?

My TV segment on "I Do!" on NBC

Last week, I enjoyed the pleasure and honor of taping an etiquette segment for the new NBC upscale wedding show "I Do!" in partnership with TheKnot. It's always such a thrill to tape a big TV segment, and this one delivered me to Chelsea Market in New York City, which is a cavernous foodie mecca and the headquarters of The Food Network. So before my shoot, I explored the cheese store, a tea emporium, and a fantastic wine store as well as the cookie spectacle Eleni's where we shot the segment. TheKnot editor Anja Winnika is a delight, and the production team was top-notch, so I know this segment is going to be amazing. We covered the top etiquette hotspots including guest list hassles, destination weddings, thank you notes, and more, so look for me in July on "I Do!" on NBC, and check out the show's site to catch up on segments you may have missed.

$9.99 bridesmaids' gifts!!

Since the average amount spent on a bridesmaid gift is in the range of $40 to $70 nationwide, I *had* to let you know about the limited-time-offer at ThingsRemembered.com. Check out these very cute bridesmaid and junior bridesmaid gifts for just $9.99! Engraving is extra, of course, but this is a great start!

NEW! Pictures on M&Ms!

Joe just pointed this out to me -- you can now get your PHOTO on custom-designed M&Ms! Since edible favors are all the rage for showers and weddings, why not add a little kick of personalization with fun photos of the two of you on these brilliant incarnations of a favorite candy? They have 22 colors for you to choose from, five of which are too dark for photo impressions, and you can also include personal messages on the M&Ms. Visit their website to place your order [and since it's summertime, have your order delivered to a relative or neighbor who will be home, or to your office if that's allowed. You don't want your chocolates to melt in the sun!]

Do you have etiquette questions?

What's proper in today's modern weddings? When do you need to send out invitations? What's the 'rule' about And Guests? Do you have to go table-to-table at the reception to talk to guests? These are some of the topics we've recently discussed on my Ask the Wedding Etiquette Expert message board on iVillage Weddings. Stop by and ask me your questions, so that you know you're getting the most current etiquette advice tailored to your situation. I'm here to help!

Not born yesterday

Sometimes I just have to laugh...

On one of my wedding Q&A columns, someone posted a question about cash registries and mentioned the site they had in mind, asking me what I thought about the etiquette of cash registries. I wrote back that it's still not proper to ask guests for cash gifts, even in the guise of an organized registry. My fellow community members voiced similar opinions. What resulted was a *blast* of name-calling messages sent from the original poster, and this person has been barred from the website.

Here's the thing...if you work for a bridal website of any kind, and if you've read the same marketing books that I've read, we both know that it's a common PR move to post URLs on social websites asking 'what do you think?' to spread the word about the company you want to promote. This particular poster only created a very Google-able discussion about how BAD cash gift registries are, including home mortgage registries. I've gone on record saying you *can* set one up if you wish, provided it's with a reputable bank or company, but you need to know that these new cash registries often *charge* you to create a cash gift program, and guests might get very offended at your display of greed. If you still want a cash or mortgage registry, I've advised, set up a traditional home registry as well so that guests have a choice.

Even if some wedding experts out there are saying, 'it's okay to ask for cash,' it's really not okay in the eyes of most wedding guests...and those are the people who will be gifting you. What I've found is that offended guests wind up giving you LESS. The choice is yours.

So, poster with the potty-mouth, thanks for giving us the opportunity to shoot down your site and openly discuss the Do's and Don'ts of gift registries. You've helped a lot of people.

A photo from our wedding!

Our fabulous photographer Rich Penrose from http://www.deanmichaelstudios.com/ has sent us an early collection of some of our favorite wedding day photos, and I'm including one here for you to see. More to come...the wedding magazines get first pick!

Catching up on life

Whew! This weekend was 'catching up on life' weekend, where I delved into my To Do list of things I put in motion *before* the wedding. Yes, that was almost 2 months ago! I happily took on several big assignments before the Big Day, and now it's time to fulfill all promises and deliver by deadlines. And in true Sharon Naylor fashion, that means beat the deadlines. For instance, I received the edit pages for my new book 'Home From the Honeymoon,' on Friday, and I spent the entire weekend line-editing the whole thing, done by 9pm on Sunday. And it was a blast. Considering I wrote this baby during the weeks before the wedding, there were surprisingly few typos. (Yes, typos still make me shudder, even 37 books later!). I find the edit stage to be the most gratifying, since the time away from the project gives you clear vision into what you were trying to say. And you get the clear vision of your editor. It's a rewarding point in the book creation process -- going from 300 blank pages (yikes!) to almost published form (yay!).

With this giant pack of papers covered with tiny hot pink post-it notes and my red pen scribbles all ready to go, I can set this aside and dig into the text for my other big ongoing project (I'll announce the topic soon!). I came up with the solution for a 'frustrating screeching halt' in the text while watering my peonies yesterday, so I'm excited to fire up the Macros program and get on it.

And can I just say how much I love seeing Joe work on technical improvements to our house? (Sorry, Giz, the praise continues!). We brought home our new 'baby': a big TV to replace my *20 year old* ancient TV where you couldn't read the words on the crawls at the bottom of the screen. And Joe did all the wiring and attaching and running cords through to the basement -- I have to admit that I was distracted from work because I wanted to just keep looking at him. Someone should market a 'hot guy working on the house' series of DVDs...it's a beautiful thing to see. And to be fair, I caught him looking at me as I was watering the shade garden. I like to think he was admiring my form, but he may have been making sure I didn't drown the ferns! We're enjoying domestic life very much...it's a fine distraction from the post-wedding things we're making progress on whenever we have time -- picking proof numbers and writing thank-you's. There's still a month to go for TY's, according to the latest etiquette Do's. We're in good shape.

And not to sound like Carrie Bradshaw with her loaded questions, but is there any such thing as being 'caught up on life?'

Call your airline to confirm!

Warning! American Airlines has made several flight schedule changes specifically to the Eastern Caribbean, affecting travel between September 2, 2008 – November 19, 2008. So if this puts a crimp in your destination wedding or honeymoon plans, get on the phone right now! And tell your friends to double-check their travel plans as well.

Funny story: while in the waiting room at a medical center (I'm fine; just a routine exam), the nurse called me by my new married name...and it took a second to register "Wait, that's me!" After all the weeks of name-change hell, these moments are priceless!

Allergies and wedding season

Allergy symptoms can really make you miserable! And if it's your wedding day, indoors or outside, you don't want sneezing and congestion wrecking your Big Day. I have allergies, and I had an outdoor wedding....without one sneeze nor watery eyes. I'm a big fan of Nasonex (consult with your doctor first!) and they've added me to their star-studded roster of NasonExperts along with one of my heroes, fitness expert Kathy Kaehler. Check out my article on Allergy-Proofing Your Wedding.

More reasons to think about a garden wedding

My colleague Darcy Miller, from Martha Stewart Weddings, and I have been quoted in this wonderful article in the Press Democrat of Santa Rosa, California. Find out the extra perks of planning your big day outside in the beauty of nature, including how your wedding day expenses can last a lifetime.

What would you do to lose weight for your wedding?

Fitness Magazine has just released the results of their new survey on what today's brides would do to reach their ideal weight for their weddings. Put off the big day? Move in with their mom-in-law? The results show that there are still WAY too many women out there who would consider desperate measures rather than a slow and steady, healthy approach, so that's why you need a good health regimen and realistic goals! Pick up the new issue of Fitness magazine to get started on the best plan for you....and remember that you're going to be a radiant bride if you're healthy and glowing, not sick and exhausted from not taking care of yourself.


BRIDEZILLA CONFESSIONS!
Fitness Magazine Reveals Exclusive Survey Results

29% of women would be willing to move in with their mother-in-law if it meant reaching their ideal weight by their wedding day.

May 6, 2008, NEW YORK, NY—Eighty three percent of all brides-to-be want to slim down for their wedding, and they need to lose a lot—33% are hoping to unload 30 or more pounds before The Big Day.

Just how far will brides go to look their best? Fitness surveyed more than 1,000 of them and discovered that 36% would take weight loss pills or supplements, 1 in 7 would fast for a week and 6% would try plastic surgery in order to achieve wedding-day body bliss.

Full survey results are available. An excerpt below:


· Only 14% of brides-to-be say they are at their ideal weight.
· 1 in 5 women would postpone her nuptials if she wasn’t at her goal weight by her wedding day.
· 80 % of brides want a gown that conceals their belly; 46% want a dress that flaunts their cleavage; 32% of women say they want a gown that camouflages back fat.
· After losing weight for the wedding, 50% of women give themselves 12 months, tops, before they gain it back.
· While 83% of women want to lose weight before they walk down the aisle, just 34% of men do.
· 63% of brides say “my fiancé loves my body exactly as it is,” but the feeling isn’t mutual: Only 47% of engaged women say the same thing about their man.
· 1 in 3 brides purposely buys a dress that doesn’t fit. (22% buy one that’s too small, 11% purchase one that’s too big.)
· 17% of women admit to considering their friends’ weight when selecting bridesmaids, but only 5% encouraged them to shed the pounds.
· The top two tricks for losing weight: 43% of brides-to-be double their workout time and 41% go on a strict diet
· The celebrity bride women most want to look like? It’s a tie between Eva Longoria and Jennifer Lopez (27% each)

For more information on Fitness, log on to http://www.fitnessmagazine.com/.

What a weekend!

Joe turned my birthday weekend into a dream come true! It's my first birthday as Mrs., first birthday in the new house, and last birthday of my 30s! Everyone has the usual teasing attitude about being over the hill (all in good nature, of course), but I feel like I'm in my 20s! I guess that's all that matters...how you feel and how others make you feel. On both counts, it was an awesome weekend. Too many highlights to mention, but I have to say how much I *loved* going to a new garden center and stocking up on flowers and plants for our front yard, then going to Home Depot to pick up a few extra trees with my birthday gift card [Something to keep in mind...if you want to purchase plants or trees to fix up your place for the wedding weekend, Home Depot guarantees their plants! And their prices are outstanding. Something to keep in mind...as well as for potted herbs as party favors, a great 'green' gift idea. I also love the idea of getting parents a tree as your wedding thank you gift...something they'll enjoy for years and years.]

For my birthday dinner, Joe and I went to the same jazz club where we originally had our first date. How fun to look at those two bar stools now and remember how it all started :) We now have 1 1/2 cakes in our refrigerator (yikes!) and a bunch of leftovers from my family's traditional Memorial Day barbecue. This is my parents' big party of the year, so there was no way we were going to miss that. Just a great weekend all around, and *12* chapters edited in spare morning time [that means waking up at 6am every day on a holiday weekend to churn out a fresh edition of my very first book...great new resources added, plus a new destination wedding section, so keep an eye out for it this fall. Don't worry...I'll remind you!] Also coming out soon: The Bride's Survival Guide, a full-photo book on wedding flowers, and more. Now that the wedding's done, it's back to full-throttle!

But first, a big thank you to my Joe for the best birthday weekend ever.

Catch me in Marie Claire

My Wedding Etiquette Expert Q&A is in Marie Claire magazine! Check it out on newstands or on their site .

What are your bigtime etiquette problems? Send me a note at my Sharon Naylor Weddings site, and I'll help you out. I'm also at iVillage Weddings' Ask the Etiquette Expert message board if you want my help plus group input.

Choosing your first dance song

Check me out in this Pittsburg Post Gazette Story on choosing your first dance song. The article is part of a syndicate, so you may see this same story in your own hometown newspaper, along with a recent AP story that's floating around out there right now.

Lots of big things cookin' these days, so stay tuned for updates! Right now, I'm working on an array of fun articles, editing two books and writing two more books -- all due this summer! With this tough economy, everyone wants material on how to get more wedding for less money, and it can be done! And done beautifully! You just have to get an inside peek at each of the industries in wedding world (catering, photography, etc.). That's where my books come in, so give yourself an advantage by checking out my site.

Watching the wedding video

Our wedding DVD is in! Justin Cristaldi did a fabulous job on our wedding footage -- I especially love how he did the whole 'Wizard of Oz' thing moving from black and white to a color transition when I approached the top of the aisle...just a fantastic capturing of the best moments of our day, and Joe and I got to see a lot of the details we missed while we were getting ready, while we were taking photos, etc. How amazing, one month later, to see how great a time everyone was having, to see my parents dancing after 5 long years of cancer treatments, and to see my handsome groom looking at me with such love in his eyes. I took the DVD over to my parents' place today (yes, I cut out of work for the morning because they *really* wanted to see it right away :) and they really enjoyed it. The best thing about watching the video with someone else is that you get to see it through their eyes, hear about which details thrill them, and hear the insider stories about what else we missed that was going on during the wedding. Always inspiring and smile-inducing.

So if you're planning your wedding right now and thinking about skipping the expense of a wedding video...DON'T DO IT. This footage only gets more valuable over time, and it would be a shame to miss out on watching the DVD with your kids someday. There are budget tricks to getting more for your videographer dollar, and you can find those in my book 1000 BEST WEDDING BARGAINS. I'd just hate to see you regret not hiring a pro later down the road.

Thank you, Justin, for an amazing job! The honeymoon montage was spectacular -- we had wanted that version of 'Over the Rainbow' for our reception but didn't get around to acquiring it...so what a thrill to have it on our DVD. We'll treasure this!

Christian Lacroix Wedding Water

You've put a lot of attention to the details of your wedding, from the gown to the cake to the menu and songs you'll dance to. Now, you have a chance to add some designer 'Wow!' to your water bottles. Legendary designer Christian Lacroix has created this gorgeous lace-inspired wedding water bottle for Evian, and it can be a part of YOUR wedding. How much would you guess that it costs? $100? $200? $500? Click here to find out, and get ready to start shopping for your own designer wedding water bottles.

How adorable are these?

These "Mint To Be" wedding mints were a big hit at our wedding! We had them placed in the restrooms, and guests were stuffing their purses and pockets with them! Joe gets credit for spotting these on the Kate Aspen wedding favors site, which I strongly encourage you to explore for the best, cutest, most useful and best-priced wedding favors on the market. Check out the destination wedding favors, and keep this site in mind for your family's additional upcoming parties, too!

8 days, 7 nights at Caneel Bay

It was the perfect honeymoon -- Caneel Bay in St. John (http://www.caneelbay.com/) is heaven on earth, and the kind of 5-star treatment that celebrities enjoy (Brad and Angelina were supposedly at the cottage next to ours sometime prior to our arrival, and someone said they saw Matthew McConnaughey out on a boat..."Was the guy wearing a shirt?" "No." "It must have been him then!" We'll take it.) We felt like we were in a dream the entire time...with the ocean just steps from our room, deer and wild donkeys roaming the grounds of the protected wildlife preserve where the resort is located), unbelievably blue ocean, perfect weather, and such great fish and fruit that we felt super-energized. I could go on and on, but you have to experience it for yourself. Seriously. I've been to many island resorts, and this one is by far the best I've ever experienced...and to get to share it with my husband, my best friend? Priceless.

Okay, some insider stories from our honeymoon that won't appear in any magazine features on our trip:
* Joe goes snorkeling and sees angel fish and rainbow fish. I go snorkeling and come face to face with a barracuda. We also passed over a stingray or two. I preferred to watch the fish from the dock from that point on. :)
* I SO wanted to see a dolphin that I thought *everything* in the ocean was one. "Dolphin!" I would yell out over breakfast overlooking the bay, and Joe would shake his head and say, "No, that's a person snorkeling." or "No, that's a rock."
* We saw a donkey that was very excited to see us.
* Add banana and Baileys to a pina colada and you get something very, very good.
* Don't wear Keds if you're going hiking after it rains. But do play in the sprinklers if you can.
* Get an underwater camera.

We had so many adventures together -- it was my first time kayaking, Joe went scuba diving, we hiked -- that there wasn't one day where we just lounged on the beach. We could do that anywhere. Caneel Bay offers so much beauty and the best massage I've ever had in my life, that we didn't want to miss a moment. Stay tuned for my feature article on this resort. We're going back for our anniversary next year, and probably every year after that. I quote Joe: "This place just gets more beautiful every day." How did we ever vacation elsewhere?

"A Wedding Out of a Movie"

We're back from the honeymoon [Add Caneel Bay in St. John to your Places to Get To list! www.caneelbay.com], and I'm thrilled to report that our wedding was amazing. Beyond our dreams. Guests said it was like a wedding out of a movie, and we gratefully share the credit with the amazing vendors we hired and Bill Chriswell and his staff at The Park Savoy (www.theparksavoy.com). Joe and I started from Minute One with the goal of giving our friends and family an unforgettable experience, a wedding day filled with the finest food in the state, the joy of child guests, great entertainment and beauty...and the day turned out to be pure magic. Perfect weather. The trees all in bloom. Every detail perfect.

From the smiling faces of our guests, we knew we had met our goal. People were texting photos of the cocktail and dessert buffets to their friends at home!

Since the most important part of any wedding, no matter how perfectly designed and blessed, is the PEOPLE who come together to celebrate your happiness, we are even more thrilled to report that all of our favorite people had an absolute blast all the way through the wedding weekend. We have terrific friends and family, and we're so fulfilled to know that they enjoyed the day with each other as well as with us. It couldn't have been more perfect.

And I got to marry the most wonderful man on Earth.

Details from the wedding will soon appear in magazines, so I have to stay a little bit quiet here, but I can say that we had a paparazzo! And that a line in the vows quotes Bret Michaels from 'Rock of Love,' and that my Something Blue was a Smurf [Joe knows I used to collect them when I was a little girl], and that we danced a spotlight dance to Vinx's 'Man and Wife' [ www.vinx.com to hear the amazing voice we fell in love to.]

I'm catching up on work right now [I haven't been out of the office this long in 15 years! And yes, I did check my e-mail from the resort :O], but the next report will be on the honeymoon....with pictures.

See you next month!

I'm taking a month off from this blog, just to clear a little space on the To Do list with the wedding approaching and with two exciting big, new book projects on my desk. Be sure to come back in May for my newest website recommendations, tips, wedding warnings, Top 5's, and a few surprises [hint: freebies!].

Thank you for your loyal visits to my site, for your feedback and questions, and for your wonderful wishes! See you next month!

Dan Marino shakes the groom's hand

As Joe's wedding gift, I got him a ticket to meet NFL Hall of Famer Dan Marino at a big football spectacular this past weekend, and let me tell you...this was the best gift I could ever have given to Joe. What a moment for him, to shake his hero's hand and tell him 'meeting you was my wedding gift,' which Mr. Marino seemed to LOVE. I'm sure those guys get tired of signing autographs for people who are going to run home and put it up on eBay, people who aren't really fans. When they meet someone who says 'meeting you is my WEDDING gift,' that has to feel good. I was in front with the camera (praying that I got the shot), and Dan Marino stood up and leaned forward to shake my hand as well. I wasn't expecting that. I have no idea if I said anything to the guy, as focused as I was in making this moment great for Joe, but I'll always remember how pleased Dan Marino looked to be a part of our big day. That's awesome. Oh, and Joe also got to meet Mercury Morris, a member of the '72 Dolphins with the perfect season. We just happened to chance upon him. The whole day was amazing. As a bigtime football fan, that was like Disneyworld to me. "There's Jim Brown!" "There's Peyton Manning!" John Elway was apparently right next to Dan Marino, but that didn't even register with me. I'm a bit of a spaz with football greats. So, luckily, I didn't say to Dan Marino "We have your wine!" (www.charitywines.org) like I dreamed I would. My man was happy. That's what matters most.

08/08/08

The buzz about hot wedding dates is all about the upcoming 08/08/08 -- various resorts are promoting honeymoon freebies, contests and perks, even some that don't require you to marry at their establishment. All you have to do is show your marriage license stating that you did tie the knot on the big 08 day, and they'll shower you with the good stuff. Talk about a lucky day!

Speaking of lucky days, ours is quickly approaching, and our place has turned into Wedding Central with bags of our wedding programs all folded and ready to go, our place cards written out and alphabetized, cases of our favors, and calls and faxes streaming in to handle the final details and confirmations. We're on top of things, so there are just a few little tasks to do...and I have to figure out my 'something blue' for the wedding day. Details, details.

Everyone's dreaming about the wedding

It's such a funny thing that my Matron of Honor and my bridesmaid have both e-mailed to say they've had some weird dreams about the wedding. And both Joe and I have had some dreams about it as well. After all, it's such a pervasive part of our worlds right now, so why wouldn't we process is through the imagery and symbolism of dreams? What's been in these dreams? An overseas destination, the previous carpet at my parents' house, religious images, no food, no lights...nothing that makes much sense. But the mind is an amazing thing, and I know I'm looking forward to more wedding dreams as our big day approaches.

Speaking of the big day, I had my second gown fitting today, and the dress looks amazing. I asked for a little extra room in the ribs so that I can breathe a little easier, and my mom and I found the *perfect* necklace to go with it. The girls in the dress shop are going gaga over the silver sparkly shoes that Joe gave me as my wedding gift (isn't my man awesome?!), and the gown designer said she's been telling her brides about my shoes. Looks like we may have started a little trend!

Personalized M&Ms for your wedding favors and goodie bags

How fabulous is this? If you'd like to add a personal touch to your wedding favors, co-ed shower favors, or guest welcome goodie bags, check out the new collection of MLB M&Ms created in every team's logo: http://www.mymms.com/MLB/selling_page.asp

Joe and I brought into our night-before cocktail party a collection of Dan Marino Estates wines, found at www.charitywines.com. A percent of sales goes to Mr. Marino's autism foundation, so we can't think of a better way to add one of Joe's favorites to our big wedding weekend plans.

Sports elements are a big new trends for personalizing weddings. It might be pro ball, your alma mater, even minor league teams [their box seats are ideal for bachelor-bachelorette's parties.] What's in your sports interests that can be worked into your day wonderfully?

Little bursts of intensity

I've counseled tons of brides and grooms about the gripping bursts of intensity that come in the weeks before the wedding, so here I am in the same ups and downs. Little things are going to spin out of control here and there, so you have to hang on to each other, ask for the relief you need, even if it's just a hug or a morning cuddle. With such a short amount of time to go, even the little problems become larger, so you have to make a conscious effort to write in that gratitude journal, not let the to-do list get out of control, imagine the gorgeous 'snapshots' of your day. For instance, I'm looking at the hydrangea trees and bells of Ireland plants out in my front yard, thinking 'these are going to be gorgeous backdrop for our photos!' It returns me to center. Sure, I'm tense about the sheer magnitude of all the little tasks that need to be done...few people can shake that entirely. But I have a supportive fiance who can make all the worry go away with just one kiss. And we have a solid organizational plan to get all those little details covered.

When we went to apply for our marriage license, we took photos of ourselves outside of town hall. That's right. Everything goes in the wedding scrapbook. So there we were, looking like a couple of lost tourists, smiling as my mom captured the moment. You have to build these snapshot moments into this tense time, or you're going to lose it.

For our weekend, we enjoyed the glorious spring weather and discovered that the previous homeowner had planted daffodils out back, so our first spring in the new house has presented lots of great surprises like that. We have so many unique and unusual birds by us, and I'm hoping to see a robin's nest with those pretty blue eggs in it. The sunshine, the 'fresh start' of spring, the anticipation of good things promised...all are adding up to a higher-energy time. Soon, our home will be filled with our favorite people from all phases and eras in our lives, and that's going to be a phenomenal event to kick off our wedding weekend. Imagine the snapshots! A wedding is all about the PEOPLE who come to share it with you. Yes, you're the center of the day as the wedding couple, but appreciation for loved ones is what elevates a wedding to truly spectacular.

Compassion Couture

Karla Lightfoot's Compassion Couture offers bridesmaid gift tees that send a positive message out into the world: http://www.compassioncouture.com/choosepeace.htm

So your gift of a tee that says something special can make the day of everyone who crosses paths with each of your bridesmaids! Karla's company donates at least 10% of profits to a compassionate charity...and if there's anything we need more of in the world, it's compassion!

Check out Karla's site for more designs, including Be Kind and Be Present, two of my favorites. And if you're a woman with big ideas, join us at a Ladies Who Launch event in your hometown!

The best bridesmaids in the world

I have the best bridesmaids and Matron of Honor on earth! I really have to write a fabulous toast to them at the rehearsal cocktail party, because they're traveling in from Pennsylvania and Virginia for this big day. A day they have all, in one way or another, helped me get to. I've long wished that they lived nearby, so that we could go for girls' night out, get manicures, go to yoga class, go horseback riding, co-op shop at Costco. All the great things about having good friends nearby. We always say, "I wish you were closer!" but we're as close as ever through phone calls and daily e-mails. They return me to my center, as ingrained as they are in who I actually am. So Joe gets not only me, but the great things I absorbed from them as well. We're all products of the people we know.

I was just writing to Jill, my MOH, about the bad dream I had last night, a wedding nightmare [all brides get them] that took place in our darkened reception hall. The wedding is in the daytime. I love Jill's dream analyses, so this should be fun to hear her take on it. And tonight, I'll talk with Jen about what she's reading now, and also to see if she got the birthday present I sent to her. My face always hurts from laughing after I talk to her. And I owe Pam a call -- we had so much fun bowling with her and her kids. I just love these women. They were the first to know that Joe was The One, simply from my tone of e-mails. "You're not being the least bit cautious" was one of their comments. "So this guy must be making you feel protected." Ah, I could never hide my feelings, and my friends know how to read me. So I have been prayed for by my ladies, called, joked with, and verbally hugged from miles away. I do wish they lived closer, but would I get any work done with all those fun outings to do with them? One of my post-wedding goals: visiting more with them at their homes, hopping the train to Philly, going on Amish Country tours with Jill, going out to Chicago to visit with Linda. Joe and I agree that this wedding season has made us appreciate our good faraway friends even more, so we're making it a priority to see them more often. A fabulous circle of trusted friends, who have been with us for so long, is the best life gift ever.

Next room!

We did the right thing in tackling the hardest room to remodel (the office) first...after that, all the other rooms are a cinch. Last night, after a delightful Easter holiday spent with both sides of the family, Joe put up the new Roman shades in our TV room, and we've decided to go with a beautiful deep platinum color for the walls instead of the burnt yellow we chose so long ago.

Which brings up my inevitable parallel to wedding world: the colors you pick out at first might not be the colors you end up with. As all the plans come together, you may find yourself drifting from the pink into more of a terra cotta color. Hang onto your color swatches, though, since it's a terrific keepsake of your wedding day to see the colors you *almost* went with!

In our book What's Your Bridal Style? , Casey Cooper and I guide you through a bunch of color questions to get you looking in your closet and at your home decor to see which colors you have already claimed as your favorites, and which match the season and location of your wedding. Colors also have memories attached to them, so we've asked about your best and worst color memories, too. It's just a different way to explore the whole topic of color for your floral arrangements and food choices, not just the dresses. Visit www.sharonnaylor.net for more on this book as well as my 30+ additional wedding books, articles and the Don't List worksheets for recording what you both don't want at your wedding.

Supporting a cause

The act of giving is a great thing all the way around. The charity receives much-needed support, and you feel great about being involved and making a difference. I've advised my stressed-out brides to find a little something to do as a way to Give Back. It might be a $10 donation to a charity or volunteering at a 5K on a free Saturday morning.

A colleague of mine asked me to participate in her fund drive for MDA, and that request brought back such great memories of my childhood days. My sister, brother and I planned and carried out big carnivals in our backyard...my Dad made one of those wheels that you spin to win a prize [I'm sure he still has it in his workshop.] We set up all kinds of games, had movie showings of 'Jason and the Argonauts' in our garage with the movie projector and provided little baggies of popcorn to those who paid 15 cents to see the film. And I was the fortune-teller in costume, up in the tree house with fabric on the walls and little crystal ball for effect. [I had event-planning in my blood even then!] We had gone to Nabisco to ask them for a donation of goodies as prizes, and they gave us a giant case of Oreos. I don't remember what we raised, but I do remember how much fun it was to work together for a great cause.

Since then, I've become very involved in the Leukemia & Lymphoma Society (www.lls.org), speaking at one of their events and continuing to raise funds, supporting my brother in his marathon fund-raiser, writing to politicians about medical research funding, and I also sponsor schoolkids at a Lakota School in North Dakota. Last year, I received a letter from a few of the graduates, and that was incredible. Even a two-minute effort for a cause returns such great emotions. And that's exactly what a bride and groom need now.

Getting involved in a cause now, even when you're stressed with the wedding, removes you from your little world [in the grand scheme of things] and connects you to something so much bigger. Which is always a great thing.

So great work, Toni and Steve, for your efforts now, and I hope that you all find a way to give a little something back to the world.

Great quote from Jason Castro

Yes, *the* Jason Castro from American Idol. While gearing up to work on my book manuscript, I cruised on over to the AI site and clicked on the dreadlock sweetie's picture. And he had the best quote: "In the end, it will all be ok. If it's not ok, then it's not the end!" How perfect a philosophy for weddings?!

In my Internet cruising, I also went to our honeymoon spot website and read up on all the different kinds of massages at their spa. So here's a bit of advice for you...when wedding planning stress starts to build, go look at photos of your honeymoon resort. Read up on the amenities, look at the color of the ocean or the hammock by the beach. You'll be there soon.

Safe while you're away

It's no longer enough to just stop your mail and newspaper deliveries while you're away on your honeymoon, as a deterrent to crime. It's a great idea to bring in a trusted housesitter to stay at your place for the week or two while you're away, and make sure you take safety to an even higher level -- teach your housesitter how to shut off the gas and water valves in your home, what to do if your basement floods, what to check if the power goes out, how to work your TV and DVD players so that they're not just pushing random buttons and messing up your DVR. Where the fuse box is and how to work it. How to work your security system -- we have a super-complex one, as well as a network of neighbors looking out for our property at all times. Tell the local police department about the days you'll be away, so that they can step up patrols in your neighborhood, which is also something we're doing as a matter of smart vacationing.

If you'll board your pets, check ahead of time to see if they need any shots such as the bordatella shot to prevent kennel cough, which is a deadly disease that can claim your pet in weeks. If pet-sitters will watch your little ones, make sure they have a complete set of supplies, including enough materials to change their bedding two or three times, plus the phone number of their veterinarian as well as a local animal hospital/emergency center. A vet isn't always open at night, so be sure you provide this second number just in case!

And do a thorough safety check of your home before you leave, making sure that all windows are locked, inner garage doors locked, sliding doors have thick rods or baseball bats in the groove so that they can't be slid open, and other security precautions. And program your air temperature to remain at a safe level, to prevent frozen pipes that cause expensive damage when you return home. It's a lot to keep track of right before the wedding, but it's an essential set of steps to take to keep your home and property safe.

In memory of Bob Milan

After receiving a response card from Mrs. Milan on her own, I knew something was up. Our dear family friend, the teller of brilliant and brilliantly-delivered jokes, passed away on the 29th, and somehow the message never got to us about his life remembrance ceremony. I'm heart-broken for his wife of 57 years, astounded by her class in responding to our wedding invitation during that terrible time in her life, and will certainly donate to his favorite charity in memory of him. I remember a great story about Bob -- I was in college, living with my dear friends Jen and Pam, and Bob asked me what the biggest challenge of apartment life was. I said, 'affording toilet paper' just joking around. The next time I saw him, he had gotten me a case of toilet paper. That's the kind of guy Bob was. The kind you wished you had as a grandfather. In many ways, he was a grandfather to me, and I wish him an eternity of peaceful rest. He made the world a brighter place. Much love to Jane and to his two beautiful granddaughters.

The gift of what goes wrong...

I must admit that it took a hot bath and a walk around the block to clear my head enough to get to this realization, but there are gifts in the things that go wrong with weddings. I can turn someone's crappy comment into an article. I can appreciate the people who *do* express their joy for us. After the frustration wears off, I mine the problem for the gold. Every bride and groom have problems before the wedding day, and the ones you don't see coming can hit you at a weak spot. And it's such a sadness for me that anyone would try to hit us at a weak spot right now. But they do. It's just a sorry, sad fact. What's cheering me, and what I'll laser-focus on right now, are the many notes of congratulations coming at us from my community on iVillage and on Pash Weddings. Strangers wishing us well, from the goodness of their hearts. Someone at the bridal show I attended said something profound: "Happy people are the quiet ones." They don't give you crap because they're too busy being happy. So true.

So whatever else might go wrong will become an article, a help for other brides and grooms, and in the pruning of our life right now, we make room for the good people who express the best of everything that we deserve. Ironic, isn't it, that we cut back a bunch of trees and pulled the gunk out of the hidden recesses of our gutters last weekend? That's what wedding seasons include as well. It's the dark side of it. I've long advised people to focus on the good, focus on their love, embrace their spouse-to-be, and try, TRY to focus on the good stuff even when the bad stuff is loud (some of my brides write to me because parents have threatened to not come to the wedding if they don't get their way. Can you believe the selfishness in that?!). Weddings bring out the best and worst of people. No bride or groom is exempt from that. We're just lucky that we have soooo many great people with good characters who are happily, willingly doing all they can to make this wedding day fabulous for us and for our circle of loved ones. Let's not forget, both of our families have been through a lot in the past few years, and this wedding is a victory party for all of us, a time for closeness, a joyful gathering.

Yeah, it's a gauntlet. But at the end of it, you change what needs to be changed, you thank for what needs to be thanked, and your life is blessed because you're married to your best friend. Those who want to attract bad karma to themselves can do so. As for us, we're experiencing the great karma that comes from all we have done to care for others over the years. And that's the best part. The things you don't expect to go so RIGHT are in the mix as well. Just focus on that!

A GREAT bridal show

This weekend, I attended THE best bridal show I've ever been at -- http://www.beforeido2008.com/. It was elegant, beautiful, with tons of great food and wedding cake, and seminars to educate and rescue all of the newly-engaged couples and their parents. All of my favorite NJ wedding coordinators were there, so I got to spend some time with the best in the business, and in a little bit of downtime I sat for the caricature artist who created my first caricature since I was about 6 years old at Disneyworld. I apparently bear a striking resemblance to the Olsen Twins now.

Speaking of childhood photos, I spent Saturday searching through my old photo albums for one picture of me that we're going to display at our rehearsal dinner: I'm about 4 years old, in a stroller, laughing at Tigger in the Disney park. And I *found* it, along with countless hysterical photos of me with the 70s patterned dresses, ringlet curls, dancing school portraits, family photos from our many fun adventures and traditions, and a display of my childhood Smurf collection. Still have 'em, plus the little houses and the snail cart. Looking back through all of that stuff made for a delightful day, which got even better when Joe and I [after laughing at the bad haircut photos] spent our first spring-weather day doing yardwork, trimming bushes and trees by our driveway, and clearing the gutters [that one was all Joe]. Spring cleaning might sound like a burden to some people, but it's one of those Snapshot Moments for me, one of the things I was thinking about when we signed the papers to buy this house.

So it was an awesome weekend, and now I'm back to book-writing, promoting, and article-pitching. And congrats to Joe for landing a big article assignment -- I may have to find my Writer Smurf to put on a celebratory cupcake!

My favorite post on iVillage

A fan asked me recently which post on my blog "Planning in Peace" at iVillage Weddings is my all-time favorite, and I have to say it's this one: "What Falls Away". The sad fact is that while weddings *should* be magical times where the bride and groom get a brief window of everyone working to make their dreams come true, that's not always the case. You do find out, sadly, that some people aren't what you thought they were, or that they don't value your friendship as much as you though they did. You may have canceled your own vacation plans in the past to attend their wedding, but here they are not coming to yours because they have to go to their nephew's whiffle ball game, or they have an appointment with a psychic that day. The 'reasons' can be mind-blowing. Of course you will get some reasons that inspire empathy on your part -- we have some guests with tough medical issues we understand completely, and we have a gravely ill great-aunt right now. Guest list responses aren't the only issue here...I hear from a lot of brides whose bridesmaids are letting them down, and that's the Big One. So I'm speaking generally to my big audience of brides, grooms and their families that the wedding season will present a great gift, albeit a tough one: you find out who you will devote extra effort to keep close in your life. That's looking at the positives. We have 140+ guests who are making great sacrifices in money and time to be with us, and great friends who jump to fulfill our wishes for this day. So if you have some 'What Falls Away' issues in your own wedding, join us in focusing on the Awesome People. I've always felt that what falls away just makes room for bigger blessings down the road.

Lost in the mail!

We're just finding out that some of our guests never received their invitations in the mail! Which just goes to show you that you can be ultra-organized, send your invitations out early like we did, and STILL have a snafu! So I'm e-mailing all of our non-responding guests to see what their status is. Pays to have a good backup plan! These kinds of 'out of your control' issues can't be avoided...you just have to roll with it. It's frustrating whenever your careful plans get blown out of the water, especially when you get heat from other people for things that are not your fault, but here's a way to remedy that: keep a running list of all the things that are going RIGHT during the planning stages. And visit wedding message boards to get a little perspective by reading stories from people who have BIG problems, like an out of control guest list that's 150+ people over what the room can hold (These people will have to change venues at great cost!). Compared to that, our issues are tiny.



I wrote The Bride's Diplomacy Guide to help couples handle the problems that other people stir up, so if you're having clashes with your wedding players, pick up my book and get your scripts on how to handle

In the middle of this, I work...

Things get very up and down during the last few months before a wedding. It's quite a ride, with the elation of a Yes response followed by the deflation of a No. The thrill of getting the cameras ordered, followed by the sad discovery that a product you wanted is no longer available. Hang on tight, because the hits keep coming....as do the thrills. You really have to have an iron stomach to get through these last few weeks, since so much is going on. The key is to write everything down, and then celebrate crossing each task off your list. It gets it all out of your head. Everyone's going to have ideas now, so just let that float away. Don't even think about changing anything. And lean on your bridal party. They WANT to help. I have the best bridal party in the *world*, and my Matron of Honor just answered a dilemma in 2.3 seconds with an offer that's going to be one of the many highlights of the day. I'll keep this one a surprise for now, since it might wind up in an article I can't scoop on my blog.

And in the middle of this, I'm writing my new book on life after the wedding, so when I can shake off the nagging To-Do list, I'm in a Zen state where time flies, the words just flow, and I'm cracking myself up with the clever little concept that just came to me, or the inside joke I embedded in the draft. [Every one of my books has inside jokes in them...only those closest to me could ever pick them out, and only one editor has ever chopped one]. I'm at the halfway point in the book right now. Oh yeah, there's going to be a big edit down the road, but I'm very pleased with how this is coming...especially because I'm writing it in the middle of Wedding Whirlwind. Speaking of which...I'm creating my seating chart as responses come in. So I won't have that insanely stressful task a week from now.

Okay, time to get back to work...I have a goal of 20 more pages written today, so that I don't have to bring my laptop on the honeymoon!

Every bride gets to this point...

...and probably most grooms, but I can't wait for this wedding to just get here, be wonderful, and be done. There's a lot of assumption out there that because I'm a wedding expert, everything is easy, things are just peachy, and it's going to be the wedding that Donald Trump would throw for Ivanka. It's going to be a gorgeous wedding, yes. Joe and I have put a lot of effort into it, we do have most details organized wonderfully and we do have the benefit of my knowing my industry. But for ANY wedding, there are always elements you can't control. You can't control the weather. You can't control what other people will do and say. You can't control the flower crop in Ecuador or the price of seafood. So to every wedding couple out there, I must remind you: this wedding planning season is very short compared to the life you're going to live together as a family. Focus on what's going well, and expect that some things are going to go very differently than you imagined. But at the end of the day, even with flowers that aren't from Ecuador, you will be married to your best friend. I know, it stinks when challenges arise, but there's a beautiful life ahead of you.

Despite some guest list issues this weekend, Joe and I completed some very exciting tasks on our wedding list. The honeymoon is booked! We found the butterflies for our cake top! We found our centerpiece vases for 1/3 the price we found previously! We finalized our payments with key vendors! We ordered our tabletop cameras! We received some wonderful news about guests who *will* be at the wedding. And we set up our second bedroom so beautifully, it looks like a 5-star bed and breakfast suite. We attended the Rutgers/Seton Hall basketball game which was very exciting at the end.

In a few weeks, I'll be married to my best friend, and he will be married to me. It can't arrive soon enough.

The Yes box and the No box

When the response cards start coming in, the best way to stay organized is to create little boxes [we used the ones our response cards and reception cards came in] for your Yes and No response cards. Want to know your running headcount right now? Just flip through the cards in the Yes box, and top the pile with a sticky note bearing the number for all the cards below, so that you don't have to count them all over and over again.

And looking ahead, figure out a great way to store these response cards as keepsakes. Many of our guests wrote wonderful notes on them, wishing us well, and these we'll have forever. So do you have a pretty box to store them in? Card and craft stores have fantastic fabric-wrapped gift boxes with bows already on them that I think would be the perfect holders for these little cards, and they're just a few dollars each. Some grooms have MADE keepsake boxes for their brides to store all of these little collectibles and engagement cards [we're saving ours too!], and that becomes an heirloom for your new family.

So look at your response cards for beyond the wedding. How will you keep and protect yours?

DIY Cake Topper?

Looks like we'll have to make our own cake topper, since the design we discussed doesn't seem to exist out there! I've checked everywhere, and there's just no sign of the butterfly-themed style. If I ever retire from writing, looks like I've just discovered a big hole in the wedding decor market that I can fill with DIY (Do It Yourself) designs!

You'd be stunned by how many entrepreneurs start off their million-dollar businesses with exactly this same type of moment. What you're looking for isn't out there, or it's cheesy, and you can whip up better ones yourself. Thus, your empire is born. I know companies that started up because the bride couldn't find a sparkly-enough veil, or a plain enough ring pillow...this wonderful wedding industry may have a reputation of being expensive, but it certainly does inspire future moguls!

Hmmmm....my own line of cake toppers...sounds like a plan.

Don't they realize there's a future ahead?

I've been thinking a lot about a bride's family I've been helping at my iVillage Weddings etiquette board...they have an out-of-control mother of the groom who has essentially planned a rehearsal dinner that's way bigger and grander than the wedding. So she 'scooped' the wedding in some sick competition with the bride's family. She will 'win' this one, but at what cost? Alienating the bride and groom? Hurting feelings? Embarrassing her husband? It seems that some people put 'winning' above all other things, eschewing etiquette and what the bride and groom want just to get their way. They don't care at all about other people's feelings. This mother-in-law is going to get her Wedding #1....but she has a lifetime of loneliness ahead of her. Her steamrolling personality will have no one to steamroll. She's just planned a very dark future for herself...because no one forgets the way you behave when a wedding is being planned. No one forgets how you hurt the bride or groom. Your need to 'win' means you lose, bigtime. This pre-wedding era is a sacred time when everything does mean more. If you blow it, there's no going back. I'm so upset for this bride and groom from the post on my etiquette board, but here's the bright side: the mother made a big show of just how self-centered she is, and this will help protect the couple in the future. There's no way this groom will let his bride be hurt again by her.

Catch me in the New York Times!

Thinking of inviting kids to your wedding? Or leaving them off the guest list? Check out my advice in Sunday's New York Times: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/02/fashion/weddings/02Field.html?_r=1&adxnnl=1&oref=slogin&ref=style&adxnnlx=1204554694-NbPUS/yn3CBT+DAElZFJCw [Please note: the reporter mistakenly attributed my advice about having a low-set kiddie food bar at your wedding -- so kids can help themselves -- to a mention of our wedding. We're not having a low-set hot dog and mac and cheese station for the kids invited to our event.]

We had a fabulous weekend, starting with the 75th birthday party of the judge who will perform our wedding ceremony. How wonderful to see the closeness of that family, hear about his meet-and-greet with the Pope, watch a gorgeous photo montage of him, and enjoy the great company at our table. We're honored to have been included for that lovely evening.

On Sunday, we gathered with Joe's family for his mother's birthday brunch, and we did get to talk a little bit about the wedding plans, timing, the fun stuff that's upon us now that we're under 2 months until the big day. Speaking of two, today is the 2-year anniversary of our first date. For our first anniversary, we went back to the same jazz club where we first met...so what will we do to celebrate today? I'm on a super-tight deadline for my new book, and Joe has piles of work, so this one might be a cuddle-on-the-couch party. Which is just as thrilling. Sigh....